Questionable Alliances
by screamin-psiren
Summary: I'm the little girl, who protects the monster. GaaraO.C., TemariShikamaru, NejiHinata.
1. Trust your Allies

Hello ppls, hope you enjoy etc etc. Pairings are inevitably going to be Gaara/O.C., Temari/Shikamaru and Neji/Hinata. Those who don't like Hyuuga-cest, apologies, but since other stuff is going on you can always just ignore it .

This is meant to be set after Naruto came back from that mission with Hinata, Kiba and Shino to find the bug and failed.

For a vague idea of what names are meant to mean;

Jiyuujin - Free One

Hogo - Protector (Y'see, I'm clever ain't I?)

(Though I only think he's briefly mentioned) Meirou/Hogo's Father - Famous Wolf

Anyways, yay, enjoy!

* * *

I am the little girl, that protects the monster. 

A statement granted, but not one which is in entire possession of all the facts. Aspects of it you see, are somewhat questionable.

Little girl? Maybe not. Fair maiden? Definitely not so.

And monster...

I was among the first to realise that there are many kinds of monsters. The monsters that are created and the monsters that choose to become what they are. The monsters that revel in it and the monsters that are condemned to it.

So who is the real monster, the person who created it? Or the person who never had a choice other than to be a monster? And in turn, who is responsible?

I am the little girl, that would give her life for the monster.

* * *

**In Konoha**

"WHY do we have to find this plant for Granny Tsunade"  
"How should I know teme, it's probably for one of her medicines. If I hadn't been standing round with_you_ she wouldn't have made me go"  
"What are you saying Shikamaru"  
"That people like trying to get rid of you"  
"...OI!"

The idle insults that passed for a conversation, commonly punctuated by Naruto's loud exclamations of excitement or annoyance, continued as the two ninjas nimbly leapt from tree branch to tree branch, skimming the edges of the woods that surrounded Konoha village. Shikamaru's jet eyes scanned the floor for the plant - a shrub, to be precise, as he'd tried to explain to Naruto - but came across nothing. He could only imagine how much more difficult it must be for Naruto, with no experience in medicinal techniques whatsoever, to distinguish between the various types. Stopping abruptly he halted Naruto beside him and picked two leaves, grinning in wry amusement. 'Naruto, what's the difference between these two leaves?'

His blonde head whipped from one to the other with progressively growing annoyance, until he positively shrieked in frustration 'They're both GREEN, who CARES!'

Shikamaru shook his head and tried to stop himself from laughing 'They're from two entirely different plants Naruto-dobe. How do you expect to find this plant if you can't even recognise it?'.

"Who are you calling dobe?"

Shikamaru grinned unrepetently as they carried on moving. He knew first-hand that nothing could dent the rock-headed positivity of Uzumaki Naruto. It was almost unnerving for someone like himself, who had only recently acquired incentive to put effort into anything, to encounter someone who seemed to tremble like a live wire with pure energy and enthusiasm all the time. Certainly it was exhausting. But the village needed people like Naruto, much as most of them would still consider this an affront to everything that Konoha stood for. The idea of them needing the nine-tailed fox that had nearly destroyed them was perverse, but then Naruto had never been the sum of his parts. It could have all been very, very different. What likelihood was there that he should wish to protect all the people that had rejected him his entire life? And yet he did. Perversity piled on top of perversity.

"I think I've seen it!" declared Naruto, nose-diving down towards the forest floor. Shikamaru sighed wearily and placed his foot on the next branch to follow him down, when in the periphery of his mind he felt...

He remained motionless as the wood suddenly seemed eerily quiet save for the delighted yells of Naruto as he ripped huge clumps of the plant out of the ground, covering himself in dirt. Shikamaru focused, distilling the sound out and away, making it dissipate into the back of his mind until nothing but silence remained. It hadn't been a sound that had attracted his attention at first, but now it was the disturbing sense of normalicy to everything BUT the familiar noises of the forest that made him acutely aware. Why weren't the birds singing?

"Naruto shut up. We're not alone." Naruto looked up from his squatted position on the forest floor, squinting in belligerent disbelief and smearing dirt across his nose "What...?"

"I said quiet!" Shikamaru snarled abruptly, leaping down the surrounding tree trunks to stand back-to-back with Naruto, reaching for a kunai. He felt the muscles in Naruto's back tense up as he realised what Shikamaru was suggesting. "It's probably some people from our village." he said hopefully, planting his feet in a defensive position and keeping his eyes watchful. "If they were people from our village they wouldn't be attempting to conceal themselves..." Shikamaru said grimly through gritted teeth, brimful with controlled preparation.

There was a pause in which Naruto now too noticed the disturbing quiet of all that surrounded them. No birds, no rustling of the wind skimming through the branches. Just the anxious tense silence of that stretched-out second before violence. But the violence did not come.

"Apologies friends, we did not mean to unnerve you."

Both Naruto and Shikamaru whirled in stunned amazement upon the voice that came off to their left. "I didn't even hear them move..." Shikamaru thought tensely. For all his attentiveness the two of them had got so close with neither of them being able to feel their presence. If these people decided to turn nasty, they could be in serious trouble. Quickly and quietly he assessed them, not stepping down from his defensive posture.  
The man was probably about Kakashi's age, nearly six and a half feet tall and heavily built, more like a warrior than a secretive ninja. Dark blue hair fell down to his collar, a blue almost the same colour as his eyes, and his face was burned dark by wind and sun, scarred and haggard looking. He was swathed in a thick cloak and was sporting what Shikamaru instantly recognised to be the Sand Village's symbol on his forehead protector. Despite the girl's reassuring words his expression and posture was one of quiet distaste, perhaps due to annoyance that ninjas as young as them had detected them. He was nonetheless relaxed and at least seemingly not prepatory to attack. Shikamaru did not discredit for a second that he was anything less than a powerful Jounin. The girl couldn't have been any older than them and had a wryly amused expression on her face. Shikamaru wasn't quite sure who she was amused by, them or her companion's reaction. Her eyes glowed a strangely bright amber colour and her forehead protector, tied tightly around her throat, showed her also to be a Sand Shinobi. The dark red dress she wore showed through the glimpses of arm and thigh that she was already acclimatised to battle, numerous scars scattering flesh that was shockingly pale in comparison with her companion. None of them looked too severe, but proved her to be someone who had experienced far more violent encounters than Shikamaru knew he had so far. But there were two things above all this that concerned him as he made his assessments of these two Shinobi who called them 'friends'.

The first was that it was this girl, a girl who was the same age as them, that was quite evidently in control. It was her who had addressed them, her who stood forward and exuded an attitude of understated confidence. The second was that despite this attitude, this confidence, Shikamaru could not sense her chakra in the slightest.

Any ninja learnt very swiftly to be able to detect chakra, to a lesser or a greater degree. Kiba's dog Akamaru could even smell it, smell just how powerful an opponent to his owner might be. And yet there was nothing, not even the vaguest of tremors in his mind, his psyche, that gave him a suggestion of her power. If one were to judge on this solely alone, it would seem as if she were a regular person, not a ninja at all, with no cultivated chakra whatsoever. But Shikamaru knew better than that. No one stood the way she did, held herself in that way, unless they were strong. Very strong. It wasn't even arrogance - arrogance Shikamaru had encountered dozens of times in ninja and could deal with. This was just calm confidence. Awareness of her ability to the degree that showing it off to anyone else was obsolete. Shikamaru opened his mouth to speak but found, not to his surprise, that he was beaten to it.

"Who are you bastards and what are you doing sneaking around outside our village!" growled Naruto, fists still clenched.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and dealt him a hefty slap up-side the back of his head, lurching him forwards. '

The Sand are our allies again Naruto, watch your manners!" he muttered before turning to fully face the two Sand. "More importantly, why are you sneaking up on us instead of walking in the front gate like allies are meant to do?" The girl looked apologetic for a second before grinning sheepishly "Yeah, sorry, I was hoping you could take us to see the Gondaime Hokage. We'd rather avoid being interrogated by every ninja we encounter as we go through the village." The man at her side grunted in displeasure and she shot him a swift but intense look. "And furthermore, neither of you are unfamiliar to me." Shikamaru and Naruto shared a look of confusion at this. They had never seen this girl before in their lives.

She smiled again, more broadly this time "Word gets around in the Sand. From what I hear the last Chuunin exams were quite... spectacular."

At this her eyes focused more specifically on Naruto and he shifted slightly on the balls of his feet in unease, nonetheless meeting her gaze determinedly. Her eyes became almost speculative as she took him in, her eyes lazily looking him up and down. Naruto could practically feel his measure being taken, and was mildly gratified that she seemed to be taking him seriously. Perhaps she knew that the Kyuubi was inside of him. "Naruto-kun, and Shikamaru I presume?" she said finally, eyes flashing with an almost predatory intensity. And yet the smile was friendly, almost mischievous as they both started in surprise that she knew their names. "I am Hogo Jiyuujin. This is Chimitchi Hamana. Fun as it would be to talk more with you guys, it is very important that we speak to the Hokage as quickly as possible."

The numerous curious looks they received as they escorted Hogo and Chimitchi up towards Tsunade's apartments only increased as word spread like wild fire that more of the Sand Ninja were back. Even if they were technically allies again, after their initial betrayal the public view on them was one of intense suspicion. Dark looks and mutterings followed them as they passed through the streets, eyes trained on them without any attempt to conceal it. Naruto swallowed awkwardly, sensing the air around them thicken with distrust and anger. He found himself grinning and laughing nervously at the scowling passers-by whilst Hogo and Chimitchi looked entirely unperturbed. Jogging to catch up with her, he looked round at Hogo, who gave him a roll of the eyes and a grin, nodding towards the crowd. "Seems like I'm popular wherever I go." Naruto grinned and rubbed his hand through his hair, embarassed at the attitude people were giving these complete strangers. Hostile though Chimitchi was, it was a little less unnerving than Hogo's seeming knowledge of him. "Uhhh... Hogo?" She glanced round and raised her eyebrows in inquiry 'Why d'you know who I am?" She shrugged casually, eyes remaining studiously ahead again. "You defeated Gaara. I didn't think... such a person could exist."

Her eyes met his again and he recognised now in them the look that he had sometimes seen in other ninja's eyes. Kakashi maybe, or one of the other Jounin. But not in someone his age. A look of disillusionment. "I expect you're more than used to seeing faces like these looking at you, Naruto-kun."

He knew he was staring at her with sheer dumb amazement but he could not help himself. Faces like the ones that greeted them on all sides now were what his childhood was made out of. Distrust and suspicion, hatred that he had never understood and never earnt. It was as closely related to him as his skin. He tore his gaze from hers and clenched his teeth, staring hard at the ground ahead of his marching feet. "You don't notice as much when you find people that care." he said finally, careful to keep the words level. Her gaze continued to be evaluative, but he saw a distinct level of warmth grow in her eyes. She looked ahead once more and they continued up the steps towards Tsunade's apartments in comfortable silence.

Clearly knowledge of the Sand's arrival had travelled faster than they could. Tsunade stood at the top of the stairs waiting for them, her glossy blonde hair caught up in a flurry of wind as they approached. Hogo quietly marvelled at how impressive a genjutsu it was that kept Tsunade seemingly so young. The woman was beautiful and had the commanding presence of a true fighter. A smile parted her lips when they reached her 'A Jiyuujin? Even for a clan as restless as yours, you seem to have wandered quite far." She said dryly, but not unkindly. Shikamaru and Naruto looked at one another, confused by this oblique remark as both Chimitchi and Hogo bowed their heads low. "Hokage-sama, it's an honour to meet you. Apologies for our abrupt appearance, but the Sand have a problem we would wish to discuss with you." Tsunade's eyebrows rose in interest before she turned and walked back into the building, leaving them to follow. Hogo gave both Shikamaru and Naruto a grin and wink before going inside "See you later boys" she said with amusement, giving a lazy wave back at them. Shikamaru got the distinct impression that she didn't expect them to leave in the slightest. Chimitchi grunted and shoved his way past them both before going after her. Naruto waited for Tsunade's office door to click closed before he leant forward conspiratorally and whispered "Wanna spy?"

"So what problem is it that required that two shinobi be sent instead of messengers?"

Naruto had a brief moment of panic when he feared the chakra to his feet was not going to hold out before he stepped further down the wall until he was in proximity with Tsunade's window. Shikamaru was not far behind, though with a tad more finesse than Naruto was managing. The street beneath them looked quite absurdly far away as they hung out over it, but nonethelss Shikamaru yawned and shoved his hands in his pockets, reaching level with the window also. Whilst they could not see in through the window without tilting at a dangerous angle, putting strain on the amount of chakra that could be applied, they could hear well enough.

"I was sent because my clan has an awareness of the terrains of nearly all the countries Hokage-sama. It was felt I could get here more swiftly than a messenger."

Tsunade made a brief noise of acknowledgement at Hogo's comment. "But why two of you?"

There was a long and tense silence in which Naruto feared they might have been discovered, before Chimitchi spoke for the first time. "Hogo was not trusted to leave the village on her own. She is under suspicion." Naruto could practically feel the look of surprise on Tsunade's face

"Under suspicion? Of what exactly?" Unable to curb his curiousity Naruto precariously balanced on one leg, wobbling round so that he could peer in...

He let out a yell of surprise to find Tsunade staring out of the window directly at him, nearly losing his chakra control altogether and falling but with some desperate limb-flailing, finally managing to cling on to the window sill with his fingertips.

"Ddddd.. DON'T DO THAT! I NEARLY FELL GRANNY TSUNADE!" he yelled, legs scrambling to gain footholds in the wall. "Naruto if you insist on listening in on my conversations you really must get better at hiding yourself. That goes for you too Shikamaru" she added, eyes sweeping round to the other side of the window where he let out a groan of annoyance. "Naruto you're too useless." he mumbled as Tsunade swung open the window and dragged them both in. "Welcome back boys." Hogo said, laughter rife in her voice as Naruto gave her an embarassed grin, blushing. Chimitchi let out almost an audible growl at their presence, but Naruto belligerently took a position next to Hogo in front of Tsunade's desk. If this guy was intent on accusing Hogo of something, he wanted to know what it was.

"Since our re-alliance with Konoha we have experienced several instances of unrest. Whilst the Elders made it known that Orochimaru had betrayed us, there were... some who still felt that our break with Konoha had been for the best. That a continuation of our alliance would merely mean we were under the thumb of the larger village. In particular Baki, one of our most respected Jounins, continued voicing his aggravation over this. He did not see the necessity for peace. You must understand Hokage-sama, that we are in an exceedingly difficult situation. Without a Kazekage... we are paralysed. Baki has been declared a missing-nin after refusing to fulfil a mission given him and disappearing. Others have followed him..."

Chimitchi's eyes trailed back to Hogo. Whilst her eyes glowed almost gold with intensity a wry smile remained on her face. It was distinctly unnerving.

"Amongst those who have disappeared since Baki's display of rebellion, has been Meirou Jiyuujin. Hogo's father. Almost immediately after Hogo herself was assigned to an exceedingly important mission within the village, he left and did not return. Consequentially, we don't know where her alliances lie."

"You do not know where my _father's_ alliances lie baka. Jiyuujin were not born to remain still. He has disappeared many times before and has always returned - it is the way of my clan and it always has been. You do not know he has left to go to Baki." Hogo said silkily, the smile not slipping even as the eyes narrowed.

"But never before has one left at such a time, when the village needed the Jiyuujin! Even as your clan has not been trusted by some, you have never failed us before!" Chimitchi roared, eyes ablaze, bringing one fist down on Tsunade's desk hard enough to cause a large dent in the thick wood.

"That's enough!" said Tsunade sharply, her voice cracking like a whip in the silence. Chimitchi stepped back respectfully and bowed his head. "Forgive me. But we are in great need Hokage-sama. We are sure that Baki is planning an assault to take over the village. We need a show of unity, defensive aid. Without a Kazekage, we need to give the villagers an example that what has been chosen is right!" Chimitchi said, his voice cracking with emotion. Tsunade nodded grimly, her expression thoughtful "And Konoha will not let you down. I will send a team of six Genins with you..."

"B..But Hokage-Sama!" exclaimed Chimitchi, clearly horrified "With all due respect, we need stronger ninjas than those that are at Genin level!" "I fear I agree with Chimitchi," said Hogo with a grave glance at the floor "I do not doubt the skill of your ninja, but nearly all of those who have departed for the other side are at the very least at Chuunin level..."

"Just because I said they were currently Genins does not mean that their levels are that of Genins." Tsunade interrupted briskly, walking round the desk and placing a firm hand on Naruto's shoulder, making him jump in surprise. "Shikamaru has recently become a Chuunin and Naruto... Naruto will be of use."

Chimitchi scoffed loudly, causing Naruto to round on him with eyes flashing. "They're children. How can they be of any use?"

"Shut your mouth Chimitchi or I'll shut it for you." Naruto blinked in surprise, momentarily stunned by the sheer savagery of this statement coming from Hogo. Her teeth were bared in a snarl but the words had been spoken with calmly calculated fury. Chimitchi and Hogo's gazes locked for a second before Hogo allowed her gaze to soften ever-so slightly.

"Or else the Hokage will take back her generous offer." The moment passed and Naruto gulped nervously. Hogo-nee san could be scary! Tsunade coolly continued as if nothing had happened. "If the situation worsens we will send further teams to aid you. As things are we cannot afford to disband more - we too have experienced serious damages as you're more than aware"  
She then turned to Shikamaru. "Shikamaru, I trust that you'll collect up a team of suitable Genins." Shikamaru nodded determinedly. He would not ruin his opportunity to better his ability as a team leader. He had failed before and could not forgive himself even for that one slip.

* * *

The assembled team had finally comprised of Shikamaru, Naruto, Neji, Rock Lee, Kiba and Hinata. Shikamaru had had some reservations about bringing the timid, shy Hyuuga with them, but Naruto had assured him that Hinata was more than capable and he found himself trusting his judgement. Ideally he would also have felt more comfortable with Chouji by his side, but he was suffering from a bout of stomach poisoning resulting (unsurprisingly) from eating under-cooked BBQ meat. Previous experiences with Neji, Rock Lee and Kiba told him they were all reliable and skilled. 

"We should make the journey even more swiftly with your abilities as well Kiba." Hinata said quietly as they headed towards the Front Gate where Chimitchi and Hogo were waiting for them. Kiba grinned cockily

"Hell yeah, me and Akamaru know the terrain better than any Sand ninja, eh Akamaru?" Akamaru yapped happily in response, before faltering at his master's feet. "Hey, what's wrong?" Kiba asked, going to pick Akamaru up. Akamaru wriggled out of his grip and trotted forward until he was practically sitting on Hogo's feet. The Konoha Genins watched in mild surprise as Akamaru vigorously sniffed all around Hogo, tail wagging cautiously. He let out a quiet whine and looked up at her, seemingly uncertain.

"Cute doggy." she commented, grinning. Akamaru backed off slowly, giving a tremulous bark up at Kiba. He blinked in surprise before staring at Hogo hard. "He says he can't smell your chakra. At all." Kiba said, giving Akamaru a reassuring pat. She gave a snort of laughter "I'm glad. I'd be disappointed in myself if he could."  
"It's a genjutsu." They all looked up to see Neji's incisive gaze fixed upon her, the veins around his eyes pronounced. "The presence of chakra is an ultimate giveaway to another ninja. She has used her illusionary technique to conceal it.". The others could not see what Neji could, and he had to admit he was impressed. This was a powerful, but more importantly, very subtle and difficult genjutsu. To be able to continually maintain it required a magnificent amount of control. And that was without even considering the chakra that was penned in behind the technique...

"An assassination technique?" he stated rather than asked, closing his eyes and in turn the Byakugan. She smiled, clearly impressed "Very good. Assassination is what my clan is famous for. I need not ask what yours is famous for. Two Hyuugas..." she said, flicking a glance at Hinata who instantly blushed. "Tsunade's spoiling us! This should be fun."

The journey was long and arduous, and would necessitate them travelling over several mountain ranges, but they still were making excellent time by the end of the second day due to the combined skills of Kiba and Hogo. The two had built up a playfully insulting banter as they argued over the most efficient way to get places, practically creating a scoreboard for whenever they were proved right.

"Score SIX to me baka! It would have taken us twice as long if we'd gone through that wood!" laughed Kiba back at her.

"Laugh it up dog boy, when we get into Sand territory you won't know your head from your foot for all the sandstorms." she shot back. Chimitchi had remained at a scornful distance both physically and socially, not saying a word to these 'children' unless he had to. Naruto kept excitedly asking questions about the Sand which Hogo did her best to answer, as did Rock Lee.

Neji in the mean time kept his eyes continually alert, more out of habit than the actually expectation that they would be attacked. He noted that Hinata looked exhausted from their high paced journey on numerous occasions, and also that she didn't complain once. Tempted though he was to mention it to one of the others he decided if she was unwilling to say it herself then it was none of his business. Even though they now lived in the same house, her father having welcomed him with open arms, he was aware of just how little he in fact knew about her. The point had been sharply made clear to him the month before when she had left for a mission. As she had run round the corner, nearly colliding with him, he experienced something he had never expected.

He expected that he would have to catch her. He expected he would have to dodge.

What he had not been expecting was the expertly agile move that had cleared her from his path entirely, the supple spin of an ankle that didn't even break the pace of her run. He had never seen a movement like that before, almost dancer-like, especially from her.

When he looked back on their match now he didn't know what to think. At the time he had been furious with her stubborness. Didn't she realise he could actually kill her if she didn't stop? He had no qualms about being as savage as was necessary. But all the same he had been amazed at just how determined she was to follow through. He hadn't wanted to fight her, he had simply wanted her out of the way so he could move on to a real challenge. He didn't want to have to hurt her... Now he realised, that she was not as kitten weak as she appeared to be on the outside. Since then it had never been mentioned between them. In truth, they never spoke at all unless he spoke to her first, and even then she looked surprised that he had bothered. As if she would rather melt into the floorboards than be noticed. But he had noticed her now. Perhaps she had improved her skills - he did not expect much, but it would be interesting nonetheless, to view how she reacted to this mission...

"We should set up camp for tonight"  
The sun was setting on their forth day of travel and they had found themselves on the incline of a mountain range, sharp expanses of rock sprouting out amidst the grass and shrubbery. Hogo looked back at Shikamaru in surprise. "Already? We can cover far more ground before we have to stop." she said, a hint of annoyance in her voice. "Probably, but we won't be able to travel far enough to get over the mountains. Leaving ourselves exposed on a mountain top isn't a smart move." continued Shikamaru, already throwing down his pack.

She let out a quiet growl of frustration "Don't be so pathetic! We need to cover as much ground as possible."

"I agree with Shikamaru." interjected Neji apologetically before his gaze slid to Hinata "Hinata is clearly exhausted. We could all do with some rest or we'll be of no use to you when we arrive at the Sand village." Startled by the mention of her name, Hinata flushed hotly, embarassed "R..Really I'm fine to carry on..." she stammered despite her ragged breathing.

"You're too tired Hinata-sama and you have been for some time." Neji said firmly, his eyes dismissively returning to the others. Hinata blushed brighter but said nothing, annoyed with herself that she had not concealed her fatigue better.

"Why do you feel the need to get back into Sand territory so quickly Hogo? Do you need to report back to your father perhaps?" drawled Chimitchi, his eyes hard. "It's nothing like that!" snarled Hogo furiously, rounding on Chimitchi and miraculously managing to look down her nose at him despite him being over half a foot taller.

She sighed, letting out her breath slowly, attempting to relieve the tension inside her before sitting, dropping her pack and waving for the others to do likewise. "I'm sorry. I'm just... concerned. I'm not... used to being away from someone for this long."

"Someone? Who?" asked Naruto, curious as to what could have aggravated Hogo so much.

Her eyes flickered briefly and she looked uncomfortable, saying nothing. Chimitchi's voice dripped scorn as he answered for her.

"Gaara. Hogo Jiyuujin was assigned to be Gaara of the Sand's guardian."

A total silence settled on the group as they took this in, stunned.

Naruto let out the name in a whisper along with all the breath in his lungs.

"...Gaara."

* * *

Tadaaaa ppls, hope you liked it! Lemme know what you think etc etc, I love RnR's :D XXX 


	2. She's not Afraid of Me

Hey once more, thanks for the Reviews, hang in there you meanies who can't be bothered to review, it gets better! Ho-hum are there any other names I should translate? Don't think any of the other names are meant to have relevence to character as of yet, uhhhh... NOPE, think we're fine! Heheheh, don't mind me, too much sugar, keep using my BIG voice! Enjoy :D:D!

* * *

**Four Months previously...**

"Why would I need a babysitter?"

Conversation abruptly ended as it was realised that it had been overheard by the last person they could have wanted to do so.  
Kankarou, Muteki and Shimobe all turned with trepidation to encounter the icily cool blue-green gaze of Gaara. Kankarou grinned at his brother nervously before slapping a friendly hand on his shoulder, refusing to be put off by the dead-pan expression on Gaara's face. It had not been so long ago that the very thought of touching his brother had terrified him, even repulsed him. Gaara's defeat in Konoha had changed something fundamental about him - it had seemingly made him re-evaluate what he was and who his siblings were to him. Cold and distant he remained, but nonetheless a thin veneer of calm and stability seemed to reign in the murderous nature he had always possessed. It had astonished Kankarou the first time he had realised it. Gaara was trying, trying to be more than the Sand expected him to be. In turn it had surprised him the amount of warmth he felt for him. His little brother, ever the monster, and he had said 'Sorry' to him. It was not something he had ever expected to hear from him. He didn't understand his motivations, but he felt that he and Temari were no longer expendable lumps of flesh in Gaara's eyes. What they did mean now was not for him to guess. All he knew was that Gaara had altered, not in any way that could be specified, but certainly for the better.

"It's not a babysitter Gaara, it's just a precaution. You and I both know that you've been... well you have more control over yourself than you used to. But with the way things are at the moment, it will make the villagers feel safer knowing that someone can protect you from yourself."

"You mean that someone can protect them from me." Gaara stated blandly as Kankarou led him away from the other two confidentially. He was quite sure his chances of convincing Gaara that this was a good idea would be improved if he could speak with him alone. He laughed at the brutal honesty of Gaara's comment "Can't it be both?" he asked, pausing in the sidestreet they had entered to gauge his brother's reaction. Gaara's gaze was intently fixed upon a group of children playing Hide and Seek, shrieking excitedly as they chased each other. There was a long pause in which Kankarou felt the response could be tipped in either direction.

"Fine. If you can find someone that can beat me, I don't care." he said lazily before turning and walking back down the street.

The last few days had been exhausting as some of the most talented shinobi of the village had come forward to test their mettle against Gaara. At first people's reaction had been reluctant, but soon there was a regular swarm of people, all of whom Gaara defeated within minutes of them attacking. Skills of ridiculous proportion were rendered useless against his sand defence - only on rare occasions did he need to make any effort himself whatsoever.

"This is boring." he drawled coolly as the most recent unconscious Jounin was dragged away by a medic squad. Kankarou, seated up above on a platform with the Elders, sighed wearily. They had all agreed that this was, in theory at least, a good idea. But Gaara had been created with the very intention that he was inhuman, almost impossible to defeat. How were they expected to stabilise that? "There are only a few individuals left." muttered Muteki gravely, looking down the list an ANBU member had provided them.

"Geez we better hope we find another monster if they want to control Gaara." Kankarou overheard a Medical Ninja whisper as they carried away the Jounin. He heard a sharp crunch and detected a blur of movement before the Medical ninja dropped to the floor, holding on to his face and groaning.

Kankarou rolled his eyes "Temari you need to learn to not be so hot-headed."

Temari appeared beside him with a satisfied smirk on her face, hefting the end of her fan. Kankarou would not have been surprised if there was some of the Medical Ninja's blood on it.

"Well I can't have people talking about my baby brother like that nowadays now can I?" she replied, looking down at where Gaara remained still, eyes totally disinterested in the proceedings. Kankarou begrudgingly grinned also. Even when Temari had been utterly terrified of their brother, she had also been fiercely protective of him.

"The next shinobi is... Hogo Jiyuujin. Hmm, a Jiyuujin, should be interesting." commented Muteki, looking up as two figures entered through the side door. A girl, approximately a year older than Gaara himself, walked alongside the man Kankarou recognised as Meirou Jiyuujin. He was a tall statuesque man with a commanding presence, as well as a suppleness of movement that suggested a fighter, a movement the girl beside him shared. From the same sharp features and intense eyes he presumed she was his daughter, although her dark hair and full mouth were undoubtedly from her mother. She wore a traditional kimono in white and dark red, the Jiyuujin colours. The Elders all smiled and nodded "Meirou. It's been a while. How does your clan fare?" He bowed his head respectfully in return "We are as good as can be expected in such times. I believe my daughter might be able to help you." The girl stepped forward and bowed also.

"One more person come to view the freakshow. I'm not here for you to test how skilled your little girl is." said Gaara darkly, his eyes trained on the girl in front of him. The girl kept her gaze lowered to the floor respectfully but her father looked upon him angrily, offended. "I have brought Hogo here in order to aid this village Gaara-sama." he said sharply, not cowed in the slightest by Gaara's unwavering gaze upon his daughter.

Gaara was overwhelmingly bored of the amount of people who had taken this exercise as an opportunity to see how they fared against the 'Monster' of the Sand. And he doubted this pretty little creature in front of him was going to be of any greater importance.

Muteki briefly scanned the credentials they had on Hogo. Her grades at academy had been average, her general activities since becoming a Chuunin nothing distinguished, at least relative to her Jiyuujin predecessors. This was not unusual for Jiyuujin though. Their skill as assassins meant that they tended to flourish in the face of more intensive missions than she was likely to be dealing with at the moment. "What makes you think she is capable of uhhhh... dealing with Gaara?" inquired Shimobe, peering at her over his glasses. Meirou smiled grimly, his pride evident in his expression. "Watch her. You will not be disapointed." He turned to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it before leaping up on to the balcony to join them all.

Hogo's eyes slowly rose up to meet Gaara's, startlingly bright and evaluating without a trace of unease in them. "I'm not here for a freakshow Gaara-sama. And for that reason I ask that you don't hold back." A smile twitched the edges of her mouth "I'm not afraid of what you can do.".

Gaara remained immobile, his expression not changing before lazily stating "I had no intention of holding back"  
Sand erupted out of the gourd on his back, pouring out around him in a dense cloud before shooting towards Hogo. Her smile broadened before she rippled... And disappeared.

Gaara blinked slowly and allowed his eyes to scan the room. "Another one." he said wearily. There was a sound that almost resembled air ripping and Hogo appeared to his right, her fist bulleting towards him. The sand intercepted with only a second or two to spare before rushing after her only for her to have swept round to appear above him. He coolly looked up as she flung a kick at his head that got so close it brushed his hair before she was forced to flip back by the sand.

"You're not the fastest person I've had to fight." he said quietly as she leapt back from the trajectory of vast chunks of sand flying her way. But she was, nonetheless, fast. Faster than anyone else he had fought today. Her grin was positively delighted as she continued to skip agilely away from the sand, shooting in a dozen or so more times with attacks that were progressively getting closer. "I didn't think I would be." He had never seen anyone smile like that in battle before. Not maniacal, not sinister. Simply revelling in the act of combat, savouring testing herself.

"But I do suspect you're holding back Gaara-sama. You're not trying to kill me!" she said, her face sharply becoming savage as she came tearing forwards so fast she blurred to his sight. For a second she disappeared altogether and he felt his eyes widen in surprise before he was rocketed to one side, knocked off his feet and sent rolling across the floor. The sand caught up with him swiftly and he panted as the armor of sand began to reform over his skin, bringing his eyes up to see the girl back at a distance, watching, the sleeves of her kimono settling as though she had only just abruptly stopped running. He felt irritation snare up inside him. Did she think she was playing, that she could afford to stand back and wait for him to collect himself? She was patronising _him_?

He stood slowly and faced her. He had allowed boredom to make him careless. With renewed vigour he sent the sand her way, wave after wave crashing after her in devastatingly tight-packed volume. Though she continued to avoid them for a while, she was progressively being forced into the position where he was behind her in her blind spot. Sending a further cocooning shroud of sand forwards, putting more speed and power into it, he caught her reflexively attempting to avoid another wave, leaping right back into the second. The sand coiled round her like an animated thing, wrapping up her body until it reached her throat. She struggled briefly but he only tightened the grip of the sand around her. Deliberately, he raised his hand up towards her, eyes never leaving hers.

"He's going to kill her!" Shimobe growled, standing up in utter futile protest.

Gaara opened his mouth to utter the Desert Coffin but stopped, his eyes widening as right before him, she started to melt. Slowly she became thin and listless, liquid-like as she degenerated into the very sand itself. There was the loud, sonerous tinkle as her forehead protector hit the floor. Stunned, Gaara slowly released the sand, keeping his eyes wary. Where could she have gone? It wasn't Kiwarimi no Jutsu, there was nothing for her to replace herself with.

And then he realised that he too had begun to melt, that his fingers were slowly dribbling away like candle wax, wafting off into the air to become nothingness. He stared at them in disbelief, shaking uncontrollably, his hands, his arms, his feet all disappearing right in front of him. This was not... possible. He attempted to grab at the disintegrating pieces of flesh with the lessening stumps of his arms, catching nothing, feeling nothing. He collapsed to the ground and began screaming in horror and fury, flailing with what remained of his arms and legs, eyes staring and mad.

This was not happening he was not disappearing he could not be just simply disappearing he was melting he was dying he was going to become nothingness.

"That's enough."

The voice erupted through the hysterical panic in his mind like a cold gush of wind hitting him in the face. He was still lying on the floor as he opened his eyes and felt the sand beneath him under his fingertips. He stared at his hands again in wonderment, touching them to his face. He could feel, he could touch, he was not helpless. He scrambled into a crouching position, breathing still shallow and harsh. Hogo stood before him, a touch of guilt in her eyes though her face was otherwise impassive. Her kimono was made dirty by sand and dust but otherwise she was entirely unruffled, that glossy hair not out of place, her stance relaxed. Rage boiled up inside him in a torrential mass like a tidalwave. "Bitch." He snarled out, eyes as they had not been for some time, deranged with the desire for blood "I won't fall for that a second time!"

"Gaara please stop!"

His venomous gaze shot round to Temari up on the balcony, seeing the distress on her face. With agonising slowness, he managed to control his breathing, to calm himself. He knew better. Standing up straight, he intended to affix his stare upon Hogo once more, only to find that she had sunk to her knees in a gesture of pure humbleness, touching her forehead to the floor.

"I am sorry if I hurt you Gaara-sama." she said quietly.

Of all the things she had done, this amazed him the most. Any remaining anger evaporated in the face of this defencelessness. All he had to do was take sand at this moment, and crush her. She would let him, he knew she would. He could practically feel the sensation of her hot blood hitting his face. She would not stop him. She called him Gaara-sama and she smiled in battle and she didn't care if he hurt her and she _wasn't afraid of him_.

Turning without saying a word, he walked out to the side door and left, his back tense with one too many thoughts.

Meirou stood and faced the Elders who had been watching all of this in total shock. "My daughter is a skilled Genjutsu user. Given Gaara's mental instability, her talents are ideal. The sand has created no defence for his mind. At this stage she may not be able to defeat him in a conventional sense, but she can completely incapacitate him." She had stood in the mean time and looked up at all of them with a calm face that showed nothing of the extremities that had just occured.

For the next few weeks Gaara tolerated his new and constant companion by quite simply ignoring her existence altogether. He went about his business, whether it was missions or his own personal time, without ever acknowledging her presence. It was simply like having an additional shadow. A deferential, tangible shadow that opened doors for him and followed several feet behind, though not far enough behind that she would seem a servant. She never got in the way, nor invaded his personal space, but was all the same permanently on the edges of his consciousness. She seemed to calmly accept this, not expecting conversation from someone used to being as alone as he was. His brief reprieves were in the nighttime when she slept whilst he wandered the roofs of the nearby houses, watching the night sky. And when the sun ventured back into their world she would always invariably find him and sit herself beside him, not saying a word, seemingly perfectly content in this role. It was in fact almost a month before Gaara even spoke to her.

"You don't have to follow me everywhere you know. If I have an urge to run beserk I'll be sure to let you know." he said, his voice devoid of emotion and yet dripping sarcasm as his eyes skimmed the horizon, the sun bearing up and washing them both in gold. She smiled slightly at his comment, likewise looking out over the rooftops before them. "That's very generous of you I suppose." she responded lightly, using a kunai to clean her nails. Silence settled between them again for a moment, undisrupted.

"What do you expect to get out of this?" he asked darkly, still not bothering to look at her. She glanced up and appeared to consider this for a moment before shrugging. "It's better than becoming ANBU." she said teasingly, grinning. Gaara did not respond to the joke, resting his elbow on one lifted knee and staring down at the street below. The steady thrums that told of the beginning of market crept up to meet them. Soon others would wake up, stores would open, and the normal animation of the village would begin. "I don't expect anything from this. I want to help my village, and my talents are best suited to taking care of you"  
"Taking care of me. What a sentimental way of putting it." he said derisively, pulling himself upright and walking up the tiles of the building. "Gaara-sama..." she began, standing to follow him only for him to stop abruptly. "Do not call me Gaara-sama as though you respect me." he said, his tone chilly and threatening. Nonetheless she persevered, walking up the tiles and round to face him, looking him straight in the eye.

"But I do respect you. I respect you as a Sand ninja. You're the strongest ninja I've ever met." He searched her face, his icy blue-green eyes studiously empty. She was being utterly sincere when she said this. Too sincere. Whilst other Sand still backed away from him in the street, she claimed to admire him? "But if you prefer for me not to call you Gaara-sama then I won't." she continued, giving him a dazzlingly sweet and genuine smile. She looked truly beautiful when she smiled like that. Gaara gave a grunt of disinterest and carried on past her.

"There are ninjas stronger than me."

* * *

"You expect me to believe that you miss that _creature_, Hogo? Gaara is our greatest weapon - it's somewhat convenient that before your father left he had you made his guardian, as the only person who can control him. It would be so easy for you to incapacitate Gaara, even turn him against us, in the face of Baki's rebellion."

Chimitchi's hard words set Naruto's teeth on edge, and before he could help himself he was on his feet "TEME! What d'you think you're doing calling someone a creature!" He took a step forward, intent on punching that nasty smirk off Chimitchi's face only to be stopped by Hogo's words.

"It's all right Naruto."

He turned to see her eyes utterly murderous and locked on Chimitchi's face. He stepped out of her way, perturbed, not wanting to get in between her and what that look was fixed upon. "I don't expect you to believe anything Chimitchi. But if you intend to insult my clan, or Gaara-sama again, then do so now. So that our allies can see you make a fool of yourself as I beat you like a dog."

The words were practically a growl and for the first time since their initial meeting Akamaru whimpered, crawling up into Kiba's coat. Neji found he could practically feel the genjutsu that concealed Hogo's chakra straining, rippling as her chakra swelled beneath its constraints.

The two stood face to face as the Konoha ninjas watched, the tension thick in the air. If it had not been clear before just how unsettled the Sand Village was becoming, it was now. It was Chimitchi finally who backed down, lowering his gaze and seating himself upon a small rock.

Hogo continued to glare at him, eyes wrathful. "I love my village Chimitchi-dono! I am aware that the path I have chosen is one which will inevitably result in my dying. I cannot control Gaara-sama, I can merely distract him, incapacitate him! All I serve as is a thin protective barrier between his instability and our village, but a protection nonetheless! I hold no fear in knowing that one day he may kill me, and despite what you, and dozens like you think, I do NOT hate him for it!" she yelled furiously, muscles knotted with tension as she restrained herself from violence.

Chimitchi shook his head, for the first time genuine emotion seeming to show "And that I do not understand. You know that he will kill you one day."

She smiled darkly "He might. He might not."

"And yet you do not hate him?"

"And why should I? He gets called the monster and yet it was the Kazekage who made him as he was." At the name Kazekage Hogo spat at the ground in disgust, causing Chimitchi to rise up in anger once more.

"How dare you disrespect the former Kazekage!" he roared, rushing forward with a fist raised. Naruto, Rock Lee and Kiba all launched forward to intercept, but found they did not have to. There was a quiet thrumming noise and Chimitchi was rocketed to one side, Hogo standing over him with her eyes cool and empty once more.

Lee's eyes widened "She's fast.". She turned and grinned slightly at him "But not as fast as you I hear Lee-kun. You really did impress Gaara, much as he would never admit it.". Her gaze returned to Chimitchi who glowered up at her angrily. "I spit upon the man behind the Kazekage name. He destroyed his own son and for that I will never forgive him." The harsh, aggressive lines of her face softened "All I ask of you Chimitchi-dono, is to try and trust that I love our village just as much as you do. Suspend your doubt in me, in all of the Jiyuujin, or we will never be able to defeat the rebel-nin." She held out a hand to help him up which he fiercely swatted away before standing and walking off into the forest.

"Jeez what a moody guy." exclaimed Kiba, coming forward to check she was ok, as did the others. She sighed grimly, her eyes following his departure. "He's a good man. As are many others who now hate me in the village. But their mistrust may be the very thing that gets us killed.".

* * *

There you go monkeys, let me know what you think :D:D. RnR is oh-so-fun, you KNOW IT IS! coughs and tones down on the big voice 


	3. Arrival at the Sand

Helloo and yay, thanks to my reviewers, Gaara-Kaibutsu, Ox King, Cheh, Kimahrigirl and Beatrix Kiddo, you are all lovely and shiny! Hope I do not disappoint. Some more new names in this one for the head of Hogo's clan, along with his two sons:

Ryoushin Good Mind

Shiro White

Kouki Noble

Anyways, hope you enjoy :D!

* * *

**Flashback...**

She never knew what he was thinking. She never had a clue under that seemingly unchangeably cool gaze. The best alteration she had ever managed was a look of derision, a look of suspicion, at very best a smirk. And yet for all his cold words and cold glances he never told her to leave. He never told her he didn't want her there. Perhaps he thought it would be more trouble than it was worth. Perhaps he knew she would only leave for a while, a day at most, out of respect, but would return because it was her job.

For all his silence and coldness she seemed to be totally unaffected. She didn't seem deterred or unnerved by it. Idly she would chat to him about whatever was on her mind, the latest technique she had been attempting to learn, the movie she might be going to see, the last mission they had gone on. She would continually jokingly jibe him on missions that he didn't let her do anything, that she was going to become rusty with her techniques. However, they both knew that Gaara was the last person that needed help when it came to a fight and so the joke was only ever an ironic one.

The rain had been pouring down in torrents, the sky howling above them as wind flayed their cheeks with sand. Nearly blinded amidst it, Hogo fought against the storm with her arms over her eyes, mentally cursing as each step became harder.

"We'll have to find somewhere to shelter until the storm stops! We can't get back like this!" She yelled over the screaming winds, only to suddenly note the muting of them. The sand too, though a chilly remnant of it whistled loudly above her head, was no longer battering against her arms and face. Hesitantly, she lowered her arms, looking up to see Gaara standing in front of her, a thick shield of sand going round them both and up above their heads, forming a small cavern, a canopy from the storm. He regarded her obvious embarassment impassively before making a 'hmmph' of dismissal, walking over to the wall of this shield and seating himself against it, clearly prepared to wait it out for the night. Hogo sighed to herself and dumped her pack on the desert floor likewise, crouching to try and prepare them a small fire. But of course the storm wouldn't have bothered Gaara. If she had been a more insecure person, his ridiculous power would have made her feel worthless. Sometimes it still did. It embarassed her, the idea of being a burden to him, someone he had to stop for when he could have continued on. She was accustomed to being the talented, the skilled. But then perhaps that was likewise why she admired him so much. He exceeded every ninja she had ever met in power and in innovation.

Once the fire was lit she prepared what little food she had on her, offering him half, of which he only took a little before continuing to gaze out across the immense expanses of whirling desert. She rolled herself up in her sandcape and prepared to sleep as best as was possible in these conditions, vaguely surprised when a small mound of sand rose up from the floor in an impromptu cushion. She looked to Gaara questioningly. "Get some sleep. The storm should be finished by morning." he said, wind ruffling his wild dark red hair. "Thanks." she said, quietly touched as she settled down against it. "There's enough sand around us for me to do anything. That was as easy as blinking." he replied dryly. She rolled her eyes to herself and yawned. If anyone else had said it, she would have mocked them ruthlessly for arrogance. In Gaara's mind, he was simply stating a fact.

There was an instance or two's silence in which the warm flickering of the flames made the cavern almost pleasant, softening shadows playfully dancing in and out of their vision. The storm continued to rage around them but within the partial sphere that Gaara had created it was only a background thrum that reminded Hogo of just how warm and comfortable she was. Dozens of nights it had been like this, just the night sky and silence, her and Gaara. She knew plenty of people from her village, some even that she would call friends, who thought her a fool not to be terrified of sleeping beside Gaara. Much as she knew she should be, she had never been able to feel this concern. Yawning sleepily again, her eyes drifting, she found herself blearily asking "Gaara?"

He grunted in response, not looking round.

"Would you like me to try and create a genjutsu so you could sleep?". She saw his back stiffen slightly as he paid proper attention, considering this, before her eyelids skipped shut again. She feebly forced them open, wanting to hear his response.

"... Yes. Yes I would like that." he said quietly.

"Good... I'll... start it... soon.." she mumbled, her eyes drifting shut as sleep inevitably won out over her curiousity. Not that she would remember in the morning, but that was the first time Gaara had ever accepted her help with anything resembling good grace.

* * *

"Hogo-dono."

Hogo started out of her musings to see Neji walking alongside her, his expression reserved and formal but nonetheless friendly. She smiled slightly to herself. The formalities of clans as old as theirs never failed to amaze and at the same time irritate her. She was willing to bet that Hyuuga Neji didn't know how to have a good time if his life depended on it. Restraint and stand-offishness were all clans like theirs knew.

"There's no need to call me that Neji, we're all friends here." she said, grinning in the hope it might loosen him up. It wasn't like she hadn't been the same herself for as long as she could remember. But a dimension of her had never been able to entirely fulfil the traditional image that was expected of her clan. Much as it angered her father, all that he was proud of in her far outweighed his objections to the fact that she could be reckless and loud-mouthed.

Her father.

She bit back on the concerns that the mere thought of him brought up and focused on Neji's polite smile and incline of the head "Of course. How much further before we reach the Sand Village?"

"Just a few more hours. We've made excellent time."

"Good. If I may ask..."

"Yes"

"Your speciality is genjutsu."

She gave him an appraising smile before nodding her head in concession "Very good. Though I should have expected you to know with those eyes of yours. It might not be the most traditional style my clan uses, but its what I excel at. I can't rely on sheer strength to overcome a physically larger opponent." Neji smiled in understanding

"Yes. That strike you gave Chimitchi earlier was impressively fast, but it didn't hurt him much. I suppose an opponent incapacitated by genjutsu is far more easy to kill." Hogo grinned broadly and slung an amiable arm around Neji's shoulders, ruffling his cool composure "You're assuming that I couldn't have hurt Chimitchi more if I wanted to Neji-san. But you're right, an assassin I remain, if not by the same styles as my clan. I only hope I never have to come across a Hyuuga who wishes me ill - I suspect your eyes are a little too good for my skills."

Neji smiled dryly "It would certainly be interesting to find out some time.". He wasn't entirely sure how to react to Hogo's forwardness but was unable to not be amused by it.

The terrain of desert, so unlike the verdant expanses of forest and mountains that they were used to, fascinated the Konoha ninjas. Akamaru kept scurrying around in all directions, smelling for all he was worth with Kiba racing alongside him. Even Chimitchi seemed happier now that they were back in his country, going ahead as scout for them all, not that they were expecting any unwanted welcoming. "How could anyone sneak up on us anyway Hogo? We can see for MIIIIIIIIILES!" yelled Naruto excitedly out into the desert, his arms flung wide and his scream being caught up by the wind and thrown up thinly into the air all around them. Hogo smiled affectionately at their enthusiasm. "You'd be surprised how much experience Sand-nin have in hiding somewhere as uncompromising as a desert." She replied. The piercing whistle heard ahead of them brought all of their attention to Chimitchi. He waved broadly in their direction, a smile almost threatening to break across his hard face. "Home beckons!" he yelled, pointing into the distance.

"Hogo, Chimitchi, it is good to have you back. I'm glad to see you've brought help." said Shimobe, shaking Chimitchi's hand warmly and nodding to Hogo. She took the snub without comment and instead turned to the Konoha ninjas "Shimobe-dono, this is Nara Shikamaru, Inuzuka Kiba, Hyuuga Neji, Hyuuga Hinata, Rock Lee and Uzumaki Naruto. They have been sent from Hokage-sama to help." The Elders looked them over, clearly disappointed in the fresh-faced nature of these individuals but nonetheless welcoming them politely.

"We trust Hogo has briefed you as much as possible about our concerns?" asked Muteki, seating himself in one of the large chairs placed behind the Elders Conference desk. Shikamaru nodded "Yeah. She said Baki is going to stage a coup d'etat..."

"I fear for us if you are the best Hokage-sama intends to send."

They all looked round to see that Temari had entered the room, along with Gaara. Hogo's look of relief upon seeing Gaara was not missed by many. Temari meanwhile continued to smile playfully, the cruel edge to her words not stinging Shikamaru in the slightest. He smirked in response.

"Temari. Good to see you're feeling as amiable as ever." She let out a purring laugh and walked forward, blue eyes mocking "Intending to save all us poor little Sand women from the evil men Shikamaru? I trust you won't object if I try and save myself."

"Not at all, I'm sure you'll do a fine job of it." he responded, his smirk increasing. He hadn't thought how... interesting it would be to see Temari again. As sharp as ever it would seem. At least he wouldn't be bored. She let out a hmmmph at his compliment before purposefully turning to look at the Elders.

"So you're back then. Fast work." drawled Gaara quietly to Hogo. She grinned broadly "Of course, couldn't have you missing me now could I?" He grunted derisively "Don't flatter yourself." he said, his attention already going elsewhere, focusing primarily on Naruto and Rock Lee. "Naruto." he said by way of greeting, nodding his head slightly. Naruto did likewise, unsure if a smile was appropriate for the man who had tried to kill his two best friends and was as like himself as his shadow.

"Gaara. It's good to see you again." said Lee, bowing politely. Naruto blinked and looked at Lee, surprised. He had not seen Gaara's defence of Lee against Kimimaro. A very slight smile came over Gaara's face at this before his gaze flickered up and down Lee "I expect you are fully healed now. Otherwise you'd be of very little use to us."

Naruto growled in irritation "Gaara, you were the one who..."

"It's alright Naruto-kun." Lee interrupted, causing Naruto to gawk in disbelief.

He gave Gaara his 'nice guy pose', exclaiming"You can't keep the Green Beast of Konoha down!".

The ludicrous pose, complete with thumb in Gaara's face, did little to change his expression. "Is that so?" he merely said, more of a statement than anything else, before likewise turning his gaze to the Elders so they might continue. Hogo in the meantime was doing her best not to giggle; already deciding that Lee-kun was just the type of person she needed around if she ever intended to make Gaara smile.

"Over seventy of our own ninjas have disbanded and are unaccounted for. We suspect they are collecting together in the desert for an attack upon the established power of the Sand." "And the established power would be you." said Shikamaru gravely. "Precisely. We may not be a Kazekage for our people, but we can certainly try and do whats best for them until one is decided upon. I fear even if we did find a Kazekage, the damage Baki has done has reached too far. People don't trust our judgement - this is why we felt it was imperative to show that Konoha was a useful aid to have. We must show them we are united. Also... as you can imagine, this rebellion will put families against each other, brothers, fathers, mothers, all may have to kill one another if this stretches too far. I already see it everyday in the streets around me. It's putting an intense strain on all kinds of loves, those who trust us and those who don't."

"Quite." said Hogo coolly, just loud enough that the Elders might hear her. Ruffled by the obvious meaning of this comment, Muteki cleared his throat nervously. "I understand your displeasure Hogo. But you must understand that we cannot afford to take any chances. Your father's disappearance was..."

"Is that right? Well if you can't afford to trust your own people it's no wonder so many of them seem willing to join the missing-nin!" she snapped in response.

"We would like to trust everyone in this village Hogo. But if you recall, Baki was one of our most renowned Jounin, and you will see why we have trouble with this. He was our team leader for several years, I felt I knew him and still he has betrayed us." said Temari, giving Hogo a fierce smile. Hogo deflated slightly, seeing the pointlessness of this argument. Temari sympathised with her predicament, and as a friend trusted her as much as anyone could expect to in this situation. And despite this, she had a point. There was no choice for them but to be suspicious, they had already lost so much.

Kiba put a reassuring arm around her and she suddenly felt absurdly grateful for the Konoha ninja that had come to aid them. An outside force was needed to save them from imploding altogether from this mistrust and bitterness. Despite her best efforts, she found that her brain tuned out from the plans Shikamaru was making to aid the village, disappearing into the paranoia that was beginning to encroach upon her skin.

She trusted her father. She knew he would never betray their village - he loved it as she did. Though they were wanderers by nature, never comfortable with remaining still for long, this was their _home_. He wouldn't risk it over relations with Konoha. This could become a bloodbath if things got completely out of control. The people of this village had never quite trusted them because of their inclination to disappear whenever they felt like it, to roam the deserts and beyond for months at a time. There was always the concern that they would not come back, that hunter nin would have to be deployed to maintain the safety of the Sand. But they always had returned, until now.

"Come back Father." she mentally prayed vehemently "Come back before you're no longer welcome." Whilst she did not think for a second that her father had joined the rebels, she knew that he would never be trusted again by the villagers if this continued. A thought she didn't even want to have to consider coursed through her - If it came down to it, would she have to choose between her village and her father? It wasn't a choice she thought she was capable of making.

As they exited the hall she dragged herself from her thoughts. "There is plenty of room at my home. You are all welcome to stay there - I'm sure the rest of my family will not object." "Thanks Hogo-san! No hotel rooms for us, YAY! We get to stay in a fancy Clan's house!" exclaimed Naruto excitedly. Hinata giggled at this and Neji rolled his eyes good-humouredly. Looking round, Hogo noticed that Gaara had not joined them, but then she was not surprised. Big groups of people were hardly his thing. Sighing, she decided she would inevitably have to organise getting the Konoha ninjas comfortable before she could assess where he was.

"For someone they don't trust they sure as Hell seem to be giving me a lot of responsibility." she grumbled to herself as she led them all towards the Jiyuujin estate.

* * *

Later that evening Hogo had finally managed to get rooms for the entire group, ensuring that Hinata got a room to herself as the only girl. The servants in her household had been slightly perturbed by the excitable blond boy in orange running around their home, but had nonetheless welcomed them all. Although the clan was naturally vast and so she couldn't formally introduce all of them, she made sure that they paid their respects to Ryoushin Jiyuujin, her father's brother, and head of the clan.

"Now PLEASE, I know its difficult for some, namely Naruto, to stay quiet"  
"OI"  
"... But you must be polite to Ryoushin-sama. You have no idea how much trouble I could get into if he thinks you're being inappropriate."

As she said this the door slid open and Ryoushin entered, followed by his two sons Shiro and Kouki. They seated themselves on the floor across from the visitors before Hogo touched her forehead to the floor in a bow to them. They had the same sharp lupine features as Hogo, but with darker eyes. Kouki, the elder of the two sons, swept a cursory glance across their faces, stopping upon Hinata and smirking.

"Ryoushin-sama, these are our guests." Hogo said, naming them each in turn. Ryoushin looked them over and nodded "Anyone who may be able to help us in our troubles is more than welcome in my home. I don't doubt that Hogo has made you comfortable. I'll see to it that a meal is prepared for you all." His gaze returned to Neji, a smile appearing on his face "A Hyuuga I see. A bloodline limit such as yours will undoubtedly be useful." Neji bowed his head respectfully "I hope so Ryoushin-sama."

"It would appear he's not the only Hyuuga father." Kouki said dryly, his eyes still fixed upon Hinata. She nervously smiled at the attention being brought her way, similarly ducking her head hastily "I hope I too can be of service sir." she mumbled sweetly, praying she was not blushing once again.

"Oh I'm sure you can be." purred Kouki in amusement, chuckling as her blush deepened. Ryoushin doggedly ignored the lecherous quality to his son's tone and continued making civilities before they departed. As he left Kouki shot a wink and a smile in Hinata's direction, and Neji realised he was clenching his hands on his lap so hard the knuckles were bleached white. Slowly, he managed to relax them, tearing his gaze away from the door Kouki had left through. Standing, he went over to Hogo

"Hogo, is Kouki to be... trusted?" he said, hoping his meaning was clear without being overt. He didn't doubt that she had noted his behaviour as well. She scanned his face and put a hand on his shoulder, steering him a little further away from the others so they would not be heard. "If you're concerned for Hinata, her room is right next to mine. I'll keep an eye on her, but you shouldn't worry yourself. Kouki might be a little... forward but he's certainly not dangerous." Neji nodded gratefully, eyes momentarily flashing with viciousness "I don't appreciate the successor of the Hyuuga clan being looked at like a piece of meat. It degrades us all." Her expression said that she would not press him for the underlying reasons behind his action and he was relieved, considering he did not fully know them himself. He was Hinata's protector. It was his duty.

An abrupt mental picture of her, blood around her sweet mouth, eyes hard with determination, rushing towards him, filled his head. Her moves had been sloppy, slow, but it had been a fine fight nonetheless. It was mainly the fault of her being too soft, too unwilling to be ruthless with him. Not long ago TenTen had given him pause for thought when they had been training. Hinata had come in and left them some tea before walking out again without saying a word.

"Y'know Neji, I was wondering about Hinata..."

"What is there to wonder about?" he replied, grunting with exertion as he back-flipped away from a stray kunai TenTen had sent his way.

"Well she's Head Family. So does she know the Seal technique?"

Neji stopped, considering this, whether Hinata was even powerful enough to master the technique.

"I mean she is the successor to the whole clan, it would make sense. Because if she does know it, all she had to do during that match between you two would have been..." TenTen trailed off when she saw the tension in Neji's shoulders, the fixed look on his face. The conversation was over.

Too many small instances, snippets of his existence, had manifested themselves in a way that meant he could not take his eyes off Hinata. He didn't care if she saw him watching at that moment, whether everyone in the room noticed the blatancy of his gaze. He lived in her house, ate the same food as her, trained with her father, was her protector, her cousin, and yet he knew nothing about what was inside of her. He had an urge to grab her and shake her to ensure she was real and almost suspected she would evade his grip like smoke, simply evaporate from beneath his fingertips. So much was left unsaid in a home such as theirs. Big empty rooms with beautiful furnishings and nothing but silence to accompany them. Restraint was encoded into everything he was. What it was he was restraining himself from was agonisingly elusive. Straightening up so abruptly it made the rest of the ninjas start, he headed for the door. "Neji, where you going?" asked Naruto. Neji paused and breathed deeply through his nose. He could feel something seething up inside him that he was not willing to deal with. "I need my sleep." he said quietly before walking out into the night.

* * *

It's never simple, finding out you need someone.

He had dismissed her when she had said she intended to go to Konoha with the precise words 'Go. You won't be missed'. Irony certainly appreciated his contribution.

It became a niggling irritation, a discomfort just as much as initially her presence had. To not have her nearby, to not know she was close even if she was saying nothing. He was accustomed to her now. His second shadow had been stitched on, and then meticulously torn out once more. It was like a removal of a layer of his skin.

Beautiful, stupid, idealistic Hogo who talked too much and was never uncomfortable in his presence.

He wondered if she knew the amount of times he had followed her. Once the routine of their roles was established she had not spent every second of her day with him, even going off on her own to train or out at night with other friends. Other friends. He didn't see why he had to share her. It fascinated and disgusted him at the same time seeing how different she was with other people. Chatty, joking, energetic, sociable in a way he would never even attempt to be. What was she, a chameleon that she could exist with people like that one second and the next with someone like him? From night-blackened rooftops he would sit and watch as she laughed and fooled around with her friends.

She was a flirt too. Deliberate and in control, she'd flick that thick dark hair and make those amber eyes flash and the boys around her would be speechless in the face of her confidence. That pretty mouth of hers had only offered up one actual kiss that he had seen, a teasing lingering kiss that had been bestowed upon a boy nearly a foot taller than her. She had gripped his shirtfront, bringing him down to her level with a smile gracing the corners of her lips.

He had wanted to rip tendons and burn buildings as he sat and watched him coil his hands in that thick hair and pull her closer.

He had only ever touched her in violence.

The look of surprise on her face when he challenged her to a fight was not one he would forget, her cheeks flushing slightly, the previous smile fading swiftly. "What?"

"I said Fight me." he drawled, the cork in the gourd already falling to the floor. She leapt back in several skirting motions, nervously keeping an eye on the sand. "Any particular reason we're doing this?" she called out, only to backflip away from a rising wave of sand that formed the shape of a hand. Reasons. How marvellously simplistic she could be, how determined to avoid the cryptic. But it was an obsolete question and she said it with that knowledge. She had never expected him to explain himself. Instead she followed his lead and worked by impulse.

It was a dance more than anything else, one that required far more energy on her part than his as she dodged away, launched forward to attack and flew backwards once more. "Why don't you use one of your precious genjutsu's?" he queried sarcastically as she pirouetted away from the grasp of one of the sand hands. She grinned, breathing fast but evenly, a thin bead of sweat coming down her cheek. "As you wish." The first two did very little, trifling swipe attacks that he saw through immediately - a seeming barrage of weapons of which only one was in fact real, and the familiar image of himself melting.

"I already told you, I won't fall for that twice." he intoned dryly as he gathered up more sand for an attack. The third technique however, proved more than effective. The flames, flames brought on by the burning sun and raining down on him, surrounded him in a ragged circle of scorching heat. It felt so REAL. He screamed savagely as some flames danced out and made contact with his arm, gripping the wound and seeing the flesh was seared a vivid pulpy red. His screams became relentless as the flames closed in, and then he found himself in absolute darkness being shaken.

"Gaara, Gaara please calm down!"

Coming to himself in the pitch black, he felt his head was rested on her lap, his hands desperately clutching at his own head while her hands soothingly stroked his shoulders. The darkness he progressively realised, was a tight shell of sand around them both. He must have automatically created it whilst seeing the flames.

Pitching her backwards, using his entire body weight, he slammed her to the floor, stretched out fully on top of her. "Don't... EVER... do that again! Ever!" he yelled, his fingers digging deeply into her arms as she struggled underneath him. "YOU were the one that wanted to fight!" she screamed back, getting an arm free and backhanding him across the face. He gripped her wrist and pinned her arm back down to the floor, holding her with a bruising tightness until her struggles stopped.

"You said.." she began again breathlessly "Shut up." he snarled, but with no real venom behind it, sinking down into the curves of her, suddenly exhausted. They remained like that for some time, allowing their breathing to slow once more in the pitch black, Gaara's face hovering inches above Hogo's. Gaara felt himself overwhelmed suddenly by the sheer sensation of her chest rising and falling underneath his, her breath on his face. She was so very close, every part of him suddenly agonisingly aware of every inch of her. Her warmth seemed to seep through his clothing and into his skin. He was grateful he could not see her in this dark to see the expression that must have been one of unease or disgust. Giving a grunt of irritation he rolled off her swiftly, the sand shell slowly degenerating around them. Standing, he watched her with feigned disinterest as she stood up, brushing herself off and flicking her hair out of her eyes. Bruises were beginning to blossom on her pale skin like rotting fruit from where he had held her so tightly, and a long cut ran up her thigh, inevitably from one of the sand attacks. She saw his gaze upon these and shrugged "I'll be fine.". He turned and walked away, knowing that she would, as ever, follow. "I didn't ask." he said.

But then he didn't need to when there was a different question inside of him - would he, COULD he, ever do anything other than hurt her?

* * *

There you go my loves, please RnR, any questions just let me know:D 


	4. Restless Nights

Yes this is a testament to me having no life - here's the next chapter for you already! Yay for my lame-ness :D. (Could do my work I suppose but it's not likely).

Cheh - Hehe yeah something about Neji just oozes possessive type! I agree Gaara ain't exactly the type to be forward cause it would leave him a bit vulnerable; although stuff that happens later might surprise you, heehee.

Gaara-Kaibutsu - Awww Beautiful, why thankee! offers next chapter on a platter

Blackeelamgal9 - Thankee very much, I'm heavily complimented blush :D.

On to the show my lovelies!

* * *

Neji had never felt more uncertain of himself than he did at that moment. What was he doing standing outside Hinata-sama's door? Despite his words upon his departure from the others he had found he couldn't sleep, and in his aimless wanderings he had ended up here. He didn't even need to use his Byakugan to feel her presence on the other side of this wall. She seemed to be sleeping. Overcome by a sensation of restlessness and indecision he rested his forehead against the door, trying to calm himself.

A presence off to his left, behind him, alerted him and he span instantly in a defensive gesture, one hand readily raised. His silver eyes locked immediately with the impassive blue of Gaara's who stood in the central garden, wind blowing through his hair. He lowered his hand, but not entirely, viewing him with a grim smile "Do you always wander around other people's estates at night?" he enquired. Gaara returned the dark smile "I go where I please." his eyes trailed past Neji to Hinata's door and Neji stiffened, the defensive hand shooting up again. Gaara's smile increased "Restless night?".

Not expecting a question, let alone much conversation from Gaara at all, he slowly lowered his guard and stepped down from his fighting posture. "Yes. I couldn't sleep." Gaara snorted, his eyes roaming up to look at the gleaming full moon hanging pendulously over them. "Me neither.". Deliberately slow, he paced his way up on to the platform towards Neji, who instantly dropped down into his stance once more, muscles tense. Gaara passed him before pausing and looking back at him "Relax Hyuuga. I'm not after your woman." he drawled quietly before entering Hogo's room.

Neji relaxed almost to the point of collapsing, leaning against the wall and letting out a long breath. It wasn't fear of Gaara that caused his wavering. Gaara's words however, had sent a shock through him like a live wire being touched to his skin. What on Earth did he think he was doing, prowling outside Hinata's room late at night?

Growling at himself in irritation, he span on his heel and stormed back to his room, determined to stay there for the rest of the night even if he couldn't sleep.

* * *

**Flashback...**

The day had been scorchingly hot, when they had been sent to retrieve Baki. Who better to send than Gaara and his siblings, and the new member of their team, Hogo of the Jiyuujin clan. Who better to clean up this mess as quickly as possible, before it became worse than a mess and turned into an incident. They did not know at that stage of course, that it was too late for a clean up job. The dancing planes of desert sand, filled with pirouetting dust storms, was not the place to hide. Nor was it the place to find someone, but it would appear that both were possible. As they had ventured out miles in the blinding sunshine, Hogo and Kankarou taking the front with Temari covering the back, Gaara in the middle, Hogo had doubted the possibility of finding anything. The goggles she wore to protect her eyes from the sand did nothing to stop the burning hot sprays from lacerating her face, which she grimly put up with, wishing she could avoid it as easily as Gaara.

"Jeez it's hot." complained Kankarou, tugging the neckline of his black suit in discomfort, wincing slightly. Hogo grinned across at him, throwing him her sand cape to wipe his sweating face. If it was between being brutalised by the sand and boiling to death, she'd take the sand. "Relax Kankarou-san, enjoy yourself. Think of it as a field trip." she said with mock-buoyancy, springing forward into the desert in jutting leaps. A mutual delight in bettering themselves through fighting had bonded her and Temari. An idiotic sense of humour had made her firm friends with Kankarou. His laughter reached her even before he managed to catch up "Field trip, yeah sure I can do that, did you bring snacks?"

"Of course of course! And fruit juice for if the kids get irritable!" she continued, giggling herself as she span through the sand.

"Unless you really DID bring snacks then stay quiet up front, you're making me hungry!" yelled Temari from the back in complaint. Hogo smirked at Kankurou but managed to keep her laughter in, sticking her tongue out in Temari's direction. "I saw that!"

It was the last noise Hogo heard before a searing pain ripped through her stomach and she was hurled to one side. As she skidded across a sand dune, blearily finding the world going red, she saw two further Shinobi's emerging up out of the sand at astonishing speed, flying at Kankarou. Recovering quickly she threw herself back into the midst of it, intercepting one of the missing-nin before he was even within ten feet of Kankarou and delivering a precise dropkick under his chin. The crack of his jawbone was more than satisfying as he sprawled a foot or so backwards, but she caught up with him again before he hit the floor, performing a seal as she did so. "Koganemushi no Shinsuu!" _**Scarab Infestation**_

His eyes widened in horror as glossy blue-black beetles the size of cats crawled all over him. He started to scream hysterically, reaching for a kunai, intent on killing them, on getting them off him. Hogo looked on impassively as he stabbed himself in the heart before turning and diving back to the fight.

Twenty. Twenty missing-nin. _Where_ had they all come from? Racing back into it, grateful for the speed she'd had to cultivate for hand seals, she tried to calculate in her head. Three on Temari, two now on Kankarou. That left fifteen of them on Gaara. They weren't stupid, she'd give them that at least. That burning agony shot through her again and she cursed, forced to slow her speed as she buckled slightly. Glancing down, she saw with astonishment that she was bleeding, enough so that it was seeping into her dress, turning the red material black, in a steadily growing circle. She let out a growl of annoyance, furious with herself. Pathetic. How pathetically careless of her. Much as he wouldn't appreciate it, she knew her next priority was to start picking off the ninjas around Gaara. He was the most outnumbered in terms of semantics even if he was more than capable of dealing with it. She was practically blind to what was going on around him. Sand was flying in all directions, whirling columns of it flying up into the sky. Temari's wind techniques weren't exactly helping visibility.

But of course. They were using this as element of their attack - limited vision amidst the combined techniques of Temari and Gaara. She smirked to herself nastily "Clever bastards." she snarled before recklessly diving through one of the twisting columns of sand.

Sand filled her nose, eyes and mouth, and it all tasted of blood and death and the nauseating stench of fear. She was buffeted and hurled left and right, stinging sand gouging at her. It felt like she was being skinned by a threshing machine even as she was violently torn to pieces. Desperately giving a swell of chakra into the bottom of her feet, she managed to roll out of the other side, into the midst of the sand typhoon Gaara had created around him. She was for a moment frozen in sheer awe, crouched on the floor with her eyes wide, only capable of watching.

Ten tornadoes of sand viciously turned in a blurring mass around him, whipping left and right, thrashing like animals, pulsing with sheer power. The wind that whipped relentlessly through them was almost deafening, a hollow shriek of air forced into motion. She wouldn't have been surprised if her skin was being torn off by the ferocity of it. Amidst the dizzying forest of sand towers the missing nin were desperately fighting their way forwards, dodging both wind and tornadoes to try and get close to Gaara. Even as Hogo watched two of them were sucked up into tornadoes, shrieking piteously as they were ripped to pieces.

His face was as studiously blank as ever, concentrating, his arms crossed casually in front of him. If he had noticed her in the middle of his little world he hadn't shown it. The wind blew his already wild red hair straight up out of his blue-green eyes, eyes which had no trace of doubt, no trace of fear in them. Hogo felt almost paralysed in the face of this, a terrified admiration flowing through her as the wind whipped her hair into her eyes. He was... unbelievably strong. How did she suppose she could control him?

Forcing herself into action, she reached for a Kunai and focused on the two missing nin nearest her.

"Saian'ya!" _**Darkest Night**_

The two of them looked stunned for a second before clawing their hands at their eyes, yelling in panic. "I can't see! I can't see!" This genjutsu of seeming blindness was nasty but effective. The ninja that staggered backwards, attempting to stumble out of the chaos, was caught up in a tornado, whilst the other she crept up behind and slit the throat of as mercifully as she could manage. She was having difficulty standing, let alone moving in this blistering frenzy of wind and sand.

"Hogo..."

His voice carried her name easily through the noise and she looked up from covering her eyes, almost being overwhelmed all over again by the incredible chakra resonating from him. His eyes flickered to her briefly before focusing out again into nothingness. "You're in the way."

A flare of hurt and anger sparked off inside her chest, as red hot as the pain in her stomach. "Actually I'm helping you inconsiderate bastard!" she yelled as best as she could over the noise, but she didn't even know if he heard her. His words, and the fire they generated in her, made it easier to move through the winds as she focused on the remaining six that were scattered around the rippling mindfield of sand. One she dispatched of with sheer speed, bulleting up alongside him and turnkicking him backwards into one of the tornadoes. The next two she overwhelmed with the same Scarab technique of earlier, but as she turned to the forth he was speedily consumed in sand.

"I told you, that you were in the way. I can't keep avoiding you forever, moron." Gaara stated coldly amidst the screams. She turned to retort only to find the steely strength of a coil of sand wrapped around her wrist. Gaara's eyes locked with hers briefly before she found herself being dragged forcefully out through the tornadoes.

The heat of the sunshine, so long forgotten amidst the howling cold of the winds in that place, hit her like a punch in the stomach as she was flung backwards, hitting a sand dune. She let out a choked gasp as all the air left her lungs and lay there, unable to move for a few moments, staring at the spitefully blue sky, feeling the goosebumps on her skin be replaced with sweat once more. Her deafened ears slowly became acclimatised to more subtle noises and she heard the clanging of kunais and wood, the clacking of Karasu, Temari's yells of triumph. She slowly found she was able to take small breaths again and wheezily sat up, just in time to move her feet up from the descending body that was flung her way. Blinking incomprehendingly at the dead ninja that she had barely just moved out of the way of, she looked up at Temari who flashed her a brilliant smile. She looked an absolute mess, blood streaming from her nose and scratches and bruises covering her, but she looked ferociously pleased. "Not bad huh?" she declared, digging the end of her fan into the sand with a vigorous 'thunk'.

They had tended to Kankarou first, who had in the end fared the worst against their attackers. Seven more, seemingly brought in by the sounds of battle, had rounded on him after Hogo had thrown herself into the sand column. He shrugged off her apologies for not coming back for him, letting out a grunt of pain as they bandaged his various kunai wounds before grinning 'I'm amazed you even managed to get IN to the mess that Gaara was creating, I'm doubly impressed that you managed to get out!" She said nothing to this, continuing to daub antiseptic on his shoulder, tense with anger at Gaara. He made no indication that he was aware of her annoyance, busily looking through the forehead protectors they had collected. "Some of these ninjas weren't Sand." he stated quietly, his tone thoughtful. Temari glanced up in surprise from where she'd slumped down in the tent they'd hastily set up out of the sun. "How long do you think Baki has been planning for?"

"God knows." said Kankarou, yelping as Hogo applied the last bandage.

"What did you make of it Hogo?" asked Temari as she came and sat down to be bandaged herself. Although her wounds were relatively minor Hogo had insisted she went before her. Gaara naturally, was untouched. She frowned in thought as she washed the wounds on Temari's neck and shoulders. "We're at a disadvantage because we're familiar to them. They knew that the Elders would send us out specifically. They knew the combination of Temari and Gaara's techniques would make it difficult for us to see. Provided they moved fast enough it wouldn't be a problem for them however." she grimaced and tried not to tighten her grip over her stomach wound. "They knew I was the fastest, and so they incapacitated me first. And naturally they knew Gaara would be the hardest to deal with. It wouldn't have been a problem if they hadn't taken us by surprise. We didn't have the opportunity to form a strategy like they did."

"This could be an annoyance," continued Gaara, broodingly looking into the distance "We never know who they're going to send out to counter attack. They probably have someone situated outside the village to see what teams are sent out. It gives them time to plan against weaknesses."

"Are you suggesting I'm a weakness Gaara?" spat Hogo, teeth gritted to keep her annoyance in, careful not to take her rage out on the gash on Temari's leg that she was tending. "You were sloppy. You weren't paying attention and you almost got yourself killed." he said disinterestedly. Temari put a soothing hand on Hogo's trembling shoulder before she flew across and did something stupid, giving her an anxious smile. She took a deep breath and managed to simply distill all her physical and emotional hurt and anger, not just at Gaara but at herself, into a muttered

"Go to Hell Gaara."

Kankarou winced and tensed. No one spoke to Gaara like that, even now. He was amazed when Gaara's only reaction was a tiny smile of amusement.

"I'm going to have to cut your dress to see the wound properly, is that ok?" said Temari, removing a pair of scissors from the limited medical kit they had. Kankarou in the meantime went to be on watch. Hogo laughed and shrugged, a thin layer of sweat covering her face from more that just the heat "I've got four of the same one at home." she replied. Temari meticulously snipped her way through the blood-soaked material, letting out a small noise of surprise as the wound was properly revealed. "Hogo! What are you doing making me get bandaged first, this is serious!" she exclaimed, forcing Hogo to lie down. She was trembling slightly by now, wiping the sweat dazedly off her forehead "It's nothing, honest." She said feebly, giving Temari a challenging grin. "Nothing, like Hell it's nothing! What did they even use to do this to you anyway? It's such a jagged wound..." she continued, getting out a needle and thread. Hogo blinked. "It needs stitches?" Temari pulled a face. "None of us are medical nin Hogo. I don't want this to get infected before we can get you back to one." Hogo gave a breathless chuff of laughter, letting the back of her head thunk into the floor. "This is going to hurt isn't it?" she asked after a pause.

Temari likewise paused "Yes. Just grit your teeth and try to focus on something else." Hogo nodded slowly, clenching her jaw and looking round the tent desperately, wanting any distraction other than waiting for the pain. The scuffing of footsteps brought her head round to see Gaara standing just above her, eyes as ever impassive. Not caring in that moment of vulnerability how clingy, how weak it looked, she grasped feebly up his leg until she caught hold of his hand, holding it tightly.

His eyes widened in genuine and complete surprise as she tugged him down into a seating position. He complied slowly, crouching next to her, getting a more full grip of her hand as Temari began sewing. Hogo kept her eyes locked on his throughout, trying to ignore the strangled cries of pain that were coming from her own throat and just focusing solely on those ridiculously powerful, determinedly empty eyes.

Hogo shivered against the slightly cold breeze that told her night was coming to the Desert, clutching her dress protectively across her front. She had been made to remove it to the waist so Temari could deal with her back, vastly bruised and cut. She was grateful it could be unzipped from the back or she would have had to remove it altogether. She would not have been surprised if the majority of these cuts had come from being flung out of the Sand tornadoes by Gaara. Temari had begun to tell him to leave whilst this was done but had realised the pointlessness of this.

"Temari, can you come out here? I want you to check this for me." called Kankarou from a distance. She sighed in irritation, dropping the cloth she had been using to clean the wounds with and standing. "Gaara, could you finish up Hogo's wounds?" she said, trusting her little brother to be some degree of a gentleman. Hesitating, she crouched down again and asked Hogo quietly "Is that ok?" Chewing on her bottom lip, Hogo finally nodded. She was feeling far too vulnerable right now to really want it, but it couldn't be helped. Temari straightened again and lifted the flap of the tent, heading out into the setting sun.

"So what is it Kankarou?" she said impatiently, wiping her hands on her skirt. Kankarou shot her a devilish grin "Nothing. I just want to give those two some privacy." Temari blinked and then frowned in condecension. "What? Oh God are you really that immature? Give me a break..." she said, turning to go back inside only for Kankarou to grab her arm. "Oh come on! Seriously, have you ever seen him be as concerned about anyone as he is about her? It's not much, but its something, and I think we need to cultivate whatever that something is." he said insistently. Temari continued to frown for a minute before begrudgingly smiling. "You'd make a lousy poet brother." she said teasingly before sitting down to watch the sunset.

Hogo unconsciously tensed herself as Gaara's shadow fell over her, sensing him kneeling down behind her and picking through the medical kit. Feeling vaguely delerious from loss of blood was the last thing she cared about right now. Feeling pathetically weak. Knowing that she was soft and inferior, and worse, that her own clumsiness had made her seem even moreso in the eyes of the person she admired, was far too large an occupation in her thoughts. How could she expect him to see her as a useful guardian to him now? She had whimpered and held his hand as she was stitched up, she had buckled and failed. She let out an exclamation of pain as the sharp sting of antiseptic dug into one of the cuts "Easy, you don't have to be so rough!" she snapped, tightening her grip around her knees that were drawn up to her chin. She felt like a stupid little girl all over again, a weakling. He gave a grunt before muttering "Don't be so pathetic.", but there was no true nastiness in it and his touch became remarkably softer as he gently swiped antiseptic over each wound. She had to remember he wasn't used to treating wounds, knowing how much they hurt. "How would you know if I'm being pathetic? Pain is a novelty for you." she said quietly. "Yes, I suppose I do have a bit of an advantage." he murmured as he applied the first bandage.

Hogo blinked. That was the closest she had ever heard to Gaara attempting a joke.

"Those Jutsu's," he continued, his hot breath gently wafting against the nape of her neck. She was glad amidst all the stinging pain to find it quite pleasant "I didn't even see you performing hand seals."

"That's the reason I'm so fast. When my father realised that my talent was for genjutsu, he worked on enhancing my speed. The key to a truly powerful genjutsu is how believable it is. If someone sees you performing the hand seals, they expect something. If they never see it, they never get a chance to prepare themselves." she replied, stopping and starting at occasional twinges of pain. He said nothing to acknowledge her words but she knew he was listening, his calloused hands gently swathing bandages on to the wounds on her back. There was a long and pendulous pause where she felt painfully expectant of something, though she knew not what.

"You did nearly get yourself killed." he said again softly, affixing the last bandage to her back and leaving his hand there, the heat from his palm imprinting through the pain of the wound almost, reverberating into her spine. "I didn't exactly do it on purpose." she gritted quietly, tensing against the pain. "You were foolish." he repeated adamantly, gripping hold of her upper arm to emphasise the point. "I know. I know ok, I wasn't paying attention, ok?" she snarled back at him, turning her head to look at him. The intensity in his eyes almost stunned her into paralysis again "Your genjutsu is useful. You claim you want to be useful to your village - how can you do that if you are dead? Don't throw your life around so carelessly. You don't have the benefits that I do." he said fixedly, shaking her arm slightly to make sure she was paying attention to his words. She laughed quietly, almost to herself, too exhausted to try and shake her arm out of his grip "I wish I did." she said, instantly regretting this display of admiration and self-deprecation. His eyes hardened and he looked away "No. No you don't." he said, his voice a glacier of viciousness.

Before that she had never realised how, in the time they had known each other, his voice had softened towards her. Still it remained cool and unpredictable, but never the icy hate that she felt at that moment. She fell silent under it, her shame made twofold.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... I don't know what. I didn't meant to offend you." she said finally after a few minutes hesitant silence where she still didn't dare look round at him. Her back was fine now, there was no further reason other than her own fears to remain as she was. And yet she could not look at him. The feeling of the warmth of his arm looping round her waist astonished her, but she did not attempt to stop him. He was stronger than his wiry frame looked as he pulled her back against him, his breath still burning the nape of her neck, her earlobe, her throat.

"I'm tired. That genjutsu..." he mumbled, bringing her down to the floor with him almost as he fell to his side.

She nodded despite her feeling of exhaustion and began forming the hand seals.

Because no matter how much stronger than her he was, how easily he could destroy her, she would always want to protect him and make him feel safe.

"Mezame Neri" **_Waking Sleep_**

His eyes misted over into a smoky purple and he stayed utterly still, his arm still lazily roped around her. She maintained her concentration with gritted teeth, wanting to give him at least a few hours of this brief, artificial rest where his brain might think that he had been truly asleep. Most of his mind was still vitally awake, she knew that much, and so she tried to stay as still as possible lest she awaken the dormant sand. But the more active parts of his brain that dealt with daily interactions, the genjutsu seemed to have successfully deceived into thinking he slept. It had taken a great deal of trial and error, none of which she'd naturally attempted upon Gaara himself, but it seemed effective, making him feel at least somewhat refreshed when she broke the jutsu.

She risked a peek back round at him and marvelled at just how young he looked when he was sleeping. Her hands continued to tremble slightly but she clenched them tighter, concentrating harder.

One sleepless night for her in comparison to the hundreds that he had. It seemed a poor exchange, but it was the least she could offer him.

* * *

Awwwww, they're sooooo cuuuute XD heheheh, RnR my lovelies! XXX 


	5. Misunderstandings

Helloooo my monkeys! I'm clearly weak-minded 'cause I was intending on not putting out the next Chapter until I got some more reviews (much as I love the amount of times this story's getting looked at I'd like it if it got reviewed a bit more!) but I really rather like this chapter so I couldn't help it. I makes me all googly inside XD! Mainly because I've managed to get progression on all of the pairings and actually started the team out on the mission.

A few people have said 'when am I gonna do more TemariShikamaru' and there's more here, though I'm trying to drag it out a bit. I find that pairing the easiest, as in the simplest to write cuz there's not as much angst hehe. I can't really imagine Shikamaru torturing himself about whether his feelings are right or not, so I think when things take off with those two it'll happen quickly XD.

Cheh: heheheyay glad you like the cute GaaraHogoness! and LOL re. 'wtf is he doing outside her room anyway?'. My guess is thinking naughty thoughts - in a very restrained and Neji-like fashion ;).

kimahrigirl: you didn't have to wait long cuz I'm saaad! I'm mighty chuffed Hogo is deemed worthy of Gaara (Hogo takes a bow before running off somewhere). TemariShikamaru in this chapter; dunno if I've made Shikamaru a lil OOC but I thought he could be quite funny if he felt like it!

Gaara-Kaibutsu: YAY I have an addict! Here is your medication teehee XD.

Enjoy!

* * *

"Neji's creeping around outside."

Hogo glanced up from where she had been seated writing up a mission statement for her return from Konoha. Feeling vaguely self-conscious in the face of Gaara's level stare, she pulled her dressing gown on over the top of her nightdress before continuing writing. "I know. He's concerned for his cousin - Kouki was being his normal slimy perverted self towards her." Gaara gave a grunt of amusement "Concerned. You women really are blinkered to what's around you aren't you?" he said scathingly, moving forward so that he was leant against the wall beside her desk, on the periphery of her vision. She gave him a brief look through her eyelashes and grinned, "I prefer to see more evidence of what you're alluding to before making assumptions."

There was a few moments of silence that was more or less companionable, although Hogo felt a disturbing tension tightening like a coil inside her stomach, silvery and razor-sharp. It was to be expected when she had only just returned, it would take a while to settle back into the bizarre situation that was their circumstance. She did not dare even call it a friendship. And yet... Gaara never came to find her. She always had to find him. And here he was, in her bedroom.

"That dog boy seemed to be having a hard time keeping his hands off you." he said finally, an undertone of acidity to his tone. Frowning in thought, she remembered Kiba putting his arm around her during their meeting with the Elders. As well as the strong sensation that she was being stared at. She shrugged and smiled, finishing off the mission statement hurriedly. She couldn't concentrate on it anyway now.

"Kiba's a friend. He saw that I was upset and was trying to make me feel better."

"And he thought covering you in his doggy scent would make you feel better?" Gaara purred maliciously as she stood up, taking a few casual paces to follow her across the room as she put the statement away. Hogo did not miss the possessiveness exuding from this gesture, and from his comment. "There's no need to be like that." she frowned, turning to face him "Kiba's an ally to us."

He let out a 'Hmmmm' that could hardly be described as an agreement or otherwise, his gaze intent upon hers.

"So how many men have you kissed Hogo?" he asked coolly, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for him to do so. She blinked and stared at him in disbelief, suddenly feeling incredibly nervous. Disinterest she could deal with, disdain also, and the thousand other myriad but subtle alterations to Gaara's attitude that she'd endured. But this was... First he comes into her room at night, something he had never bothered to do before, and now he was asking her questions like that?

"What?" she replied finally, her tongue suddenly feeling far too thick for her mouth. "You heard what I asked." he said nastily, taking a step forward. She found herself stepping backwards likewise and she saw a faint smile twitch his mouth. Clearly the fact that she was finally showing some fear of him, in this of all situations, was amusing to him. She was used to him being menacing and sometimes even plainly aggressive towards her, but never in this kind of context before. It didn't feel like there was enough air in the room for them suddenly. "But, I mean, why d'you need to know, what's it got to do with anything...?" she gabbled irritably, growing frustrated by her own nervousness. When he didn't even dignify this with a response but instead took another step forward, his smile growing as she tensed but refused to step back once more, she thought her heart was going to explode out of her mouth. What was he exactly intending to do if he got any closer? "Five ok, just five. Tsubatchin, Jun, Masashi, Kinoko and Yasuhiko. Not that its any of your business..."

"I already knew about Yasuhiko. I saw you." he interrupted in an almost idle fashion, his voice taking on a dreamy sing-song quality that made Hogo's scalp tingle. She glared at him now, eyes blazing. "You followed me!" she demanded, and he smiled even more, sarcastic. "You follow me everywhere I go, what difference does it make if I return the favour. I want you to do something for me."

Her brain was by now swimming with far too many conflicting feelings, annoyance, confusion, unease, so she just let out a frustrated sigh and gesticulated vaguely. "What, what d'you need?"

"I want you to show me what its like to kiss someone."

Every emotion and coherent thought dropped out of her brain like lead weights from the sky as she simply stared at him, dumbfounded. He wanted her to... Even as he stared at her with that unreadable expression she felt tears threatening to swell out of her eyes. Because the Monster had never had anyone touch him with anything resembling affection. In that second she would have given him anything he wanted, she was so appalled by the amount of sadness that coursed through her for him. "I... are you sure you really want me to...?" she began before the third and final step he took towards her brought him so close his chest was brushing hers. She was quite sure that her heart had stopped beating altogether.

"And who else could I possibly get to do this for me?" he asked rhetorically, even now his eyes guarded, telling her nothing. She took the slight without comment. She was fulfilling a function for Gaara, alleviating his curiousity. There was nothing more to it than that in his eyes.

Reaching out tensely, she pressed her palms against his chest in the meagre gap between them, almost surprised that there was no violent retribution for this action. He merely continued to look at her so intently that she felt like she was being consumed. They were about the same height, and rather than look in his eyes she focused on his nose, his chin, his mouth. Feeling the heat of his body with surprise, almost expecting him to be as cold as the sand he manipulated, she gingerly brought her hands up on to his shoulders, his collarbone, feeling her heart jolt at the contact of his bare skin against her fingertips.

The first kiss was tentative at best, her mouth barely skimming across his as her breathing became progressively more ragged through nerves. Cursing herself for being foolish, she slid her hands up his pale neck and into his hair before sealing their mouths together, nipping gently at his bottom lip. For a second or two she wondered if he was going to react at all before she felt his arms snaking round her waist, holding her with an almost crushing strength as he hesitantly began to return the kiss in turn. It swiftly became heated and more demanding until Hogo thought her lungs would burst from need for air. It felt like he was devouring her, his mouth tugging hotly and obsessively, wanting more. She finally dragged herself away, gasping for breath and trying to gather whatever scattered thoughts she might have left in her brain.

When she finally gathered both enough air in her lungs and courage, she looked up to see that Gaara's breathing was likewise irregular, his hair mussed and his eyes dazed. He shook his head and took a faltering step forward, as if intent on grabbing hold of her again. She didn't know what she was feeling in that second at the prospect of another of those burning kisses. But then he seemed to stop himself, taking a deep breath, collecting all of his control and composure back into himself, and turning to the door. She didn't dare say anything as he slid the door across and made to exit. He paused, glancing back at her briefly "We're going out into the desert tomorrow with the Konoha Shinobi. You will have to keep an eye on them. Get some sleep.". Once he had closed the door after him she allowed herself to sink onto the bed, heart still pounding savagely. That had been a mistake. That had been a very, very big, mistake.

* * *

Shikamaru had been awake for awhile, simply staring up and contemplating the ceiling as the first pale hints of dawn had filtered through the grate windows, when his door slid open with a loud thud. Only one person could open his door that rudely, and he resolutely closed his eyes before the footsteps crept across the room. Sure enough the familiar, sensually sharp voice said insistently,

"Rise and shine Shikamaru! It's time for you to defend the little ladies of the Sand!"

Just about managing to curb the grin that was threatening to curl his lips he rolled over as if in sleep, letting out soft groans "Oh Temari, yes, Temari! Your skin's so soft, ooooooh..."

There was a long pause in which he had to bite his tongue to stop his entire form shaking with laughter.

"Very funny teme. I know you're not asleep, get your ass up!"

He opened one jet black eye idly and gave her a lazy grin from his vantage point. She had her hands on her hips in feigned irritation, although he was quite sure he could detect the twitchings of a smile around her mouth that she was desperately trying to keep under control.

"I don't recall this being your home. Did you slip me some sake last night and take advantage or something?" he inquired, sitting up and stretching. She gave a grunt of ridicule, not looking the least perturbed by his semi-nakedness. But then of course she wasn't, this was Temari. The woman was a harpy.

"I could find five men twice your worth walking down one road in this village."

"Is that right?" he replied without really paying attention, scratching his neck sleepily. "The Jiyuujin welcome us due to Hogo's role with Gaara. As the former Kazekage's children, we are also given the utmost respect." she continued, idly flipping her fan and polishing one lacquered edge with her sleeve. "I'm sure you are." he continued in the same disinterested tone, looking around for his clothes.

Rolling her eyes, Temari picked up the neatly folded pile he had placed in the corner and threw it at him. "Be outside in five minutes. We're waking the rest, Team Leader Shikamaru." She said, adding the last derisively. "You better be careful Temari, if you keep being so charming, one of these days I'm going to fall in love with you." Shikamaru said dryly, raising one eyebrow at her sarcastically. She let out a deep chuckle at this, her eyes flashing before she closed the door behind her.

* * *

"You all know the situation. It is suspected that the rebel-nin have either a spy or a scout who is watching the village for those who leave. Fortunately our skills are not known to them, unlike the other Sand shinobi who they are familiar with. Nonetheless, if we can detect the spy before he is able to report numbers back to the missing-nin, we'll have an advantage. Furthermore we can make the spy give us a specific location for their base of operations."

"That makes far more sense than aimlessly wandering out into the desert." interrupted Kankarou, wincing to himself as he remembered the wounds he had received when they had tried that strategy.

"Precisely," continued Shikamaru, eyes returning to the assembled shinobi. The Konoha genin, Hogo, Temari, Kankarou and Gaara. Ten ninja against what would seem to be nearly eight times that number. "We'll split into two teams of five, the first including Gaara, Hogo, Neji, Hinata and Naruto. They'll assume we've amassed all of our most powerful members together in a scouting group. Once the first group has exited the village the second will have left over the back wall of the village and will skirt around searching for the spy. Kiba's sense of smell should be useful in tracking him."

"Seems rather simplistic to me." murmured Temari, only for Shikamaru to give her an annoyed look "Without knowing where precisely to look for the spy all we can do is hope to catch them unawares with a secondary group." She shrugged "All I'm saying is that they'll be suspicious as to why only half of the ninja who have been sent to help us are going out."

"Which is why we're going to make it very loudly and publically known that we're looking at maps of the desert to try and assess where their camp may be." Shikamaru countered with a slight smile. Naruto looked confused for a second, trying to work this out in his head. "But Shikamaru, you said that you were going to be looking for the spy..."

Kiba rolled his eyes and amiably punched Naruto in the back of the head, sending him head over heels to the floor. "That's what we'll actually be doing dobe. But the spy will think we're safely tucked in the village looking through musty maps." he snorted, shaking his head at Naruto's denseness. "I get that now! No need to hit!" yelled Naruto indignantly, rubbing the back of his head and glowering at Kiba. Kiba gave a grunt of amusement and rolled his eyes at Hogo. Hogo smiled nervously at him, not quite able to shake Gaara's words of last night from her. But then she couldn't shake much of last night from her mind. She was praying her distraction did not show in her demeanour.

"Neji, you'll be in the charge of the first team. Try and avoid engaging with the missing-nin before making contact with us." Neji gave a small smirk, having expected to be made team leader. Hinata's presence on his team was a blessing - he would be able to keep an eye on her. Naruto and Hogo would both be useful, and as for Gaara... He looked thoughtfully across at the pale shinobi who seemed to be concentrating very hard on boring a hole into the floor in front of his feet, his jaw clenched. Well, Neji could only hope that Hogo would be able to control him. His curiousity, not very often picqued by much, had been aroused by Gaara's entering Hogo's bedroom. It was certainly not something that would have been permitted if Hogo's father was in the house, he was sure of that much. As for her mother, the mother that had never been mentioned and for that very fact seemed achingly present in the empty rooms of their house, he knew nothing.

"Now, it's very important that no one, absolutely no one, knows what the second team is actually doing. I'm afraid that includes the rest of your clan Hogo-san." Shikamaru said. She nodded her understanding, not entirely pleased about holding back from her family but seeing the necessity. The first team began collecting up their weapons and necessities at Neji's instruction as he leapt onto the roof of the building to ascertain a path across the desert, Gaara idly staring into the distance. His weapon was already out in the desert waiting for him and as for food, medical kit... Hogo always took care of that. A screen door slid open into the main courtyard and Ryoushin and Kouki entered, watching the proceedings. "Are you adequately prepared?" asked Ryoushin of Shikamaru, who swiftly informed him of both team's plans. Meanwhile Kouki slipped away from beside his father and moved over to Hinata, grinning in amusement as she started at his presence, blushing fiercely.

"Kkkouki-dono, you startled me..." she stammered, not looking him in the eye as she hastily put more kunai in her pack. "Oh do forgive me, I merely wanted to make sure you had everything you needed." he chuckled softly, dipping his head lower so that only she could hear him. His proximity was making her incredibly nervous, as was the intimate tone of his voice. "Yes I'm fine thank you Kouki-dono. You're too kind. I hope we'll be able to help your village." she murmured sweetly, risking a glance up at him and smiling. "What a lovely comment, and said so charmingly! No one could doubt that you're from a great family." he exclaimed lightly, almost absentmindedly taking a lock of her lilac hair and tucking it behind her ear. She really was quite adorably beautiful, with those huge eyes and milky skin, but for all that she carried herself as if she prayed no one would notice her. Her face was practically on fire at this point from embarassment. "And I'm sure such a well-brought up lady would not refuse a good luck kiss before her mission?" he continued, a devastating smile crossing his handsome face.

Hinata was totally dumbstruck. She had never been so much as flirted with, let alone so openly propositioned! She found her mouth opening and closing with no actual words coming to her aid, floundering in total shock as his smile grew more and more amused. The need for a response was swiftly taken out of her hands when he gently turned her face with one finger to her chin, his mouth descending upon hers.

There was the soft noise of skillful feet meeting the ground from a great height and Hinata turned to see Neji standing next to her, his long dark hair settling behind him and his eyes frosty. "Neji-nii-san..." she began, seeing that icy look was locked upon Kouki who continued to look belligerently amused by it all. "Are you prepared for our expedition Hinata-sama?" he said breezily, his calculating gaze not moving from Kouki. "Yes..." she said, lowering her face. She was amazed when she felt his hand firmly on her shoulder, drawing her behind him. "I apologise Kouki. Whatever you have to say to Hinata-sama will have to wait. Or preferably, be discarded altogether." he said and Hinata shuddered, recognising that chilling tone. Kouki's eyes narrowed at the lack of honorific in Neji's address but his smile remained thinly in place. "Of course. Another time, Hina-chan." he said over Neji's shoulder light-heartedly before turning on his heel and departing.

Hinata looked at her cousin's back worriedly, seeing how tense with anger he was, seeing his hands clenched against restrained violence. "Hina-chan... Who does that Sand scum think he is?" he growled.

"Neji-nii-san, don't let it concern you..." She began nervously, only for him to spin on his heel and face her. She flinched slightly under his unrelenting gaze but continued "I wasn't going to let him... I can take care of myself." she finished finally, embarassed to be saying such things to her severe, overwhelming cousin. Why did she feel the need to tell him that she had no intention of letting Kouki kiss her?

"Hinata-sama." he said briskly, making her snap upright. She found it mortifying how she always felt ridiculously girlish and weak in his presence, even now after all her training. He stepped closer confidentially, his eyes intent on her face. She prayed to every deity she could think of that she wasn't blushing yet _again_. This was even more unnerving than when Kouki had been close to her. "I don't want you out of my sight the entire time we are in this country. Not just on missions. I don't trust him, and I promised your father I would protect you."

Hinata bit her lip and looked at the floor once more, sadness overtaking every other sensation. Still they thought of her as this stupid little girl that got in the way, that needed looking after. She doubted Neji, strong and ruthless Neji with all his noble intentions, had a clue how crushed he had made her feel with those words. Biting her lip but nonetheless still avoiding his gaze, she planted her feet firmly and managed to mumble 'Nn... Neji-nii-san. You don't need to protect me."

His eyes widened as he stared at the top of her head, the best he could manage considering how fixedly she was staring at the floor. Hinata was actually arguing with him? He considered the resolute set of her jaw, her tense posture and realisation hit him like a blow to the stomach. He had offended her. His arrogant words of before resonated back to him, all that talk of her weakness, of her fate as an eternal loser. She didn't realise that the words he spoke now were not the same. To her they were simply a more polite version of all he had said to her in that fight where she had given her all, despite knowing it would not be enough. He bit his tongue against all that he would like to tell her those words truly meant.

"I... I've been training very hard. I don't want you to think of me as a burden." she continued into his stunned silence, taking it for scorn. His heart clenched as he saw that her lip was trembling. Had he hurt her that much?

He wanted to tuck her hair back from her face as that bastard Kouki had done and make her look at him. HE wanted the opportunity to...

Deadlocking whatever conclusion that thought was going towards, he said sharply "Hinata-sama." She tensed, still refusing to look at him, and he allowed himself the tiny indulgence of tipping her chin up so that she would look at him. Her beautiful eyes widened as their eyes met.

"I am the leader of this team, even if you are my superior. If you don't want me to see you as a burden, prove yourself."

She swallowed convulsively, unable to tear her gaze from his, seemingly locked there. He knew with the skill of his Byakugan as her eyes ran across his face, skittering and hesitant, that she was looking for cruelty in this statement, disdain. She would find none. Her jaw set and determination and something almost like hope settled on her face, a shy smile curling the corners of her mouth as she nodded. He wanted to keep the memory of that expression on her face for an eternity. "Hai Neji-nii san."

He smiled back, gently releasing her chin and straightening reluctantly, turning to the other members of their team.

"Is the First Team prepared?" he called, watching Naruto bounce from one foot to the other in excitement. "Mission mission mission! Hinata, this is gonna be great! We'll definately help Suna!" "Hai Naruto-kun." she said happily, giggling to herself at his antics.

"Let's just get on with it." said Gaara darkly, already marching forwards through the door Ryoushin and Kouki had entered. Neji did not miss the look of distress on Hogo's face that she quickly concealed before nodding to Neji, letting him take the lead. He likewise nodded to Shikamaru, confirming the time that they would reconvene if nothing conclusive happened before following after the stalking sillohuette of Gaara.

* * *

It had been a mistake, though for none of the reasons Hogo suspected.

He had thought that he could get over this progressively consuming preoccupation, this gut-wrenching obsession, if he could have a taste of her. She needn't even know that it was her, only her, he was interested in kissing, in holding. Let her think the interest was academic if it made it easier for her to endure it. He had, all the same, thought that he could get rid of it.

Now all he wanted was some more of what he had no chance of getting. That mouth, that skin. _Hogo Jiyuujin._ The name bounced around inside his head either as a mantra or a echoing curse, he wasn't quite sure. Because there was no good it could do him. He knew that as well as he knew anything.

No one had ever dedicated so much time to him, had shown such interest in him as anything resembling a person. When she looked at him he didn't have a clue what she saw, but it was nothing like that which the other villagers recoiled away from. Every instance of kindness that he had never asked for, sweet sincerity that he had coolly brushed aside, astonished him and shook him to a core he had thought rendered unbreakable. He had never expected loyalty from anyone and she gave it without any reward.

And that was why she had offered up a kiss to him as soon as he had asked for it. Loyal and fierce and so unshakeably good that it would have appalled him if he wasn't so awe-struck by it. Yes she was all of these things, but she was clearly entirely clueless if she couldn't see even behind his feigned indifference that he had never wanted anything more than her in his life. She made him see that he wasn't alone any more.

But he wasn't a fool, and just as he had never expected loyalty from her, he expected nothing else. It was better that she was that clueless, that oblivious. He did not want to see the expression that would greet him if she did realise it. He didn't think he would be able to stand it. Better to touch her in violence than to attempt anything softer, and have her recoil in revulsion.

He should have stuck with what he had, brief instances when her vulnerability gave him an approximation of what he needed. Rare they might have been, because she was far stronger than he would ever dare tell her, but those moments had simply fuelled his confused feelings instead of placating them. When he had knocked her unconscious in one of their more impromptu sparring matches (prompted by her furious declaration of 'FINE you smug bastard! I can hurt you in ways you can't even imagine!') he had carried her back through the streets of Suna with a gentleness that stunned Kankarou, who had been waiting for him at his room.

"The Elders are concerned that Hogo is actually worsening your condition. I mean, she does get you rather aggravated, you two end up fighting in the streets, you get frustrated when she beats you..." Kankarou had said as Gaara had settled her down on the bed he never used. He had taken in every inch of her with the intent of imprinting it in his brain, looking at his leisure as he never could have while she was awake. He sifted his hands through her thick hair, probing her scalp to look for the large bump where her head had met the wall.

"Surely that shows she's more than fulfilling her task. What does it matter if I become agitated if she can still beat me?" he had replied to Kankarou's words, reluctantly removing his hand from her as he became conscious of his gaze. "Well she clearly can't beat you all the time otherwise she wouldn't be unconscious right now. Besides... Meirou Jiyuujin is still missing." Kankarou said sceptically as Gaara rose from the bed. "Do you trust her?" he continued when Gaara failed to respond.

"Tell the Elders that if they choose to remove Hogo from her position I will be... disappointed." he finally replied, allowing the full weight of these words to sink into his tone.

Because she was his. He would take what he could have and would fume inside his own skin as he desired all the rest, but he would not have her taken away. And that one taste of her, showing him exactly what he desired, was more than likely to undo him altogether.

* * *

(Grins like a total moron) Hope you liked it, RnR, GO OOOOOOOON! It's not hard and it'll leave you feeling all shiny inside! XXX 


	6. Messages

I am SOOOOOO happy! Thank you soooo much for all the amazing reviews, you people are making me googly like nothing else (**glomps every single one of you**). But you are all going to HATE me intensely because this is a diddy chapter. I thought it was pretty angst-ridden and talk intensive so I didn't want to over-burden you guys. Plus I wrote the seventh chapter on the end of this and it all came out far too long, and the contrast of lots of talking and fighting didn't work very well. ANYWAY...

Cheh - SO glad you liked the kiss teehee I was being wary with it cuz I didn't want to give away too much about feelings behind it etc etc, so YAY! As for Kiba, since they've got split up in this chapter I can't really tell you if he likes Hogo like that (**whistles innocently and gurns obnoxiously)** and as for Naruto Neji and Hinata I'm still working that out (**scratches her head)**.

Kimahrigirl - woot you happy VD'd my pairing! . Poor ol' Gaara's worry is that it's just loyalty and nothing more deep than that I feel... **(SIGH)** the traumas of being an angsty Shukaku-containingstud-muffin.

juliagulia1017 - I promise you far more jealous Neji because I personally think thats the only way I can drag him out of his 'I am a respectable man who doesn't totally obsess over the beyoootiful Hinata' nature.

cutieangel - HuzZah, one of the converted! Naruto is one of my favourite anime's if not the definite fav., glad you like the fic.!

krie - that I shall, that I shall.. XD

Beatrix Kiddo - YAY you're a fantastic reviewer cuz you give me constructive stuff - glad you like how I'm progressing Gaara. I had hella trouble trying to work out how I could get them to K-I-S-S (heeheee) just cuz I thought Hogo wouldn't initiate and neither would Gaara... unless he thought he could cover himself by making her think it didn't mean anything to him. Sneaky sneaky Sandman!

Blackeelamgal9 - Awww so complimentary (**blushes)** I am honoured! I WILL make Neji embarassingly declare his love if it kills me! I don't know if you mean by action fight scenes or (AHEM) other such things; I'll attempt to please both ;).

White Alchemist Taya - I dunno what it is about Gaara, maybe its the sexy drawl he has, but I've always thought he must have a filthy mind XD.

Doll Face Sally - Ta DAAA! Hope I do not disappoint, sorry for the diddy chapter (**hides**)

Hiko-chan - Yep yep, filthy filthy Gaara tee hee! Glad you like it !

But onwards, don't KILL ME! Thankee XD

* * *

Naruto stared at the slim silver whistle in his hand before squinting up at Hogo once more. "Hogo-san, whats this for?" 

"This is so we can communicate across the group without screaming at each other Naruto-kun. In sand terrain, the team will be spread out across a wider distance to enhance awareness of surroundings. It makes sense to stay densely close together in forests, but not in the desert. We need maximum visibility." Hogo explained, matching her leaping pace with Naruto's as they set out across the seemingly endless scope of desert. Neji was going to be in the middle to give orders, and despite apparent reluctance had placed Hinata en pointe due to her Byakugan. Hogo smiled at just how delighted Hinata had looked at this, her face glowing with pride. She didn't feel the need to inform her that as soon as Neji had set her this task he had approached Hogo.

"I want you to stay as close behind Hinata-sama as possible. She might have better eyes than you but I don't want her getting caught up in anything."

"So you're saying what you really want are... two en pointe's? One en pointe for the mission and one for Hinata?" Hogo had enquired dryly, trying not to laugh as she saw Neji's jaw tighten. "I'm teasing you Neji-kun, lighten up!" she had exclaimed, slinging an arm round him with such strength of affection that he nearly toppled over. He had cleared his throat in obvious embarassment but smiled all the same "You have no tact whatsover do you Hogo?" he had said with an attempt at derisiveness that merely came out as amused. "None whatsoever, it's what I'm famous for." she had declared happily, grinning sarcastically at the looks she was receiving from various Sand villagers they passed. She was doubly hated by most of the villagers, if not because she tended to Gaara, then because her father was a suspected traitor.

She kept her gaze fixedly locked now on the back of Hinata's head, maintaining the awkward balance between remaining within a defendable proximity without making the girl feel like she was being babysat. Hogo herself did not doubt the girl was powerful - she had the Byakugan after all, and Naruto seemed to have a degree of respect for her, even if he was blissfully unaware of how she hero-worshipped him. But she could understand Neji's protectiveness, from whatever source it was manifesting itself. There was something ridiculously delicate about the girl that just brought that out in people. Hogo had barely spoken two words to her (not out of hostility, merely because with people as talkative as Naruto and Rock Lee around it was difficult to spread the conversation elsewhere) but she seemed quite impossibly sweet for someone who had chosen the life of a kunoichi. Hogo mentally shrugged - it was not her right to ask such questions, and she more than most knew what it was like to have family pressure forcing a way of life upon you. However, it was far easier to entertain such thoughts inside her head than it was to do so with thoughts concerning Gaara. Gaara, who had not said a word to her since last night.

"...Hogo-san..."

She looked up in surprise at the tremulous mention of her name, seeing that Hinata's head had turned slightly, to show that she was in fact addressing her.

"Yes Hinata-san?" Her eyes shifted nervously as she clearly considered whether she should ask what she wanted to. "Forgive me... I know it's none of my business... But.. are you close to your father..?"

Hogo felt her face fall out of its pleasant expression before she could help it, seeing how guilty and embarassed the young Hyuuga immediately looked. "My father... my father is the greatest man I have ever met. He went beyond all expectations in bringing me up, devoted every spare moment he had to me, even some that he couldn't spare. He showed no disappointment that I was born a woman, though I know in his heart he must have wanted a son. He has always been proud of me, no matter in how many ways I have not lived up to what the Jiyuujin clan wants."

Hogo watched, quietly horrified as Hinata's head lowered and she swallowed, intent on keeping tears in. She immediately forgot all the worries and sadness that was mounting up inside her in the face of the loneliness emanating from the girl in front of her. "That's a great thing to have... You are very fortunate." Hinata all but whispered, not looking up.

As Neji called for them to gather together for a while to rest and consider the next action, she kept an eye on the still tearful looking Hinata. "Hinata," she said finally, not missing how the girl fiercely blinked away the tears before looking up. "Let me show you something." Hogo pulled her hair over one shoulder, out of her way, and began fiddling with a string around her neck before finally pulling a necklace out from inside her dress. She felt Gaara's cool gaze on her but determinedly ignored him for the present time, shuffling closer to Hinata who looked fascinated, dropping the cool but heavy strand into her hands. "It's beautiful... is it coral?" she asked, stroking her fingers along each of the long and uneven beads that were threaded along it, gleaming bright white in the sunshine. "The beads are so big..." she continued, considering the thickness across them. "They're bone." Hogo said quietly, watching Hinata's eyes widen in surprise, chuckling as she dropped the necklace in to her lap.

"You might have heard of the Kayuya clan. Their bones were supposedly unbreakable, a part of their bloodline limit." She saw out of the corner of her eye that Gaara was paying very close attention now, his eyes fixed on the necklace that she picked up and displayed to Hinata's huge eyes. She knew he had taken on the best of the Kayuya himself, Kimimaro, the servant of Orochimaru. She had never shown him the necklace, for the sole reason that she didn't think it would impress him, and she didn't want something as important as this was to her to be seen as nothing, by him of all people. "My father gave this to me. Three vertabrae from each of the Kayuya shinobi that he killed."

Hinata's eyes swiftly skimmed over the number of bones. Twelve. Meirou Jiyuujin had killed four men from_that_ clan. She looked up in total amazement at Hogo who smiled darkly, her eyes sad. "Barbaric isn't it? Perverse, to keep as a trophy the very thing that these men were renowned for. My father gave this to me so that I would remember some very simple things - for all the love and goodness that a man is capable of, he is just as capable of cruelty and hate. In clans such as ours, a person has trouble separating the shinobi from the rest of their lives. We begin to see the whole world as a battleground, our family, even our friends, become hindrances, strategic pieces in a game."

Hogo unknotted one end of the necklace as she spoke, slipping one vertabrae from the end before retying it. She pressed this vertabrae into Hinata's limp hand, looking her hard in the eye. "I was fortunate. I don't know enough of your clan to give you any wisdom, but I can give you this. This is so we remember what is ours, and what is the battlegrounds. Some people... just need to be reminded more than others." Hogo clenched her teeth against further words she had no right to say, the empathy she had no right to express. The only true words that she knew Hinata wanted to hear came from someone else, and were quite simply, "I'm proud of you my daughter.".

Hinata continued to stare at her for a while, emotions veering from nostalgia to fear and all the way back again to pride, flitting across her face. She finally tightened her grip on the bone, squeezing Hogo's hand simultaneously. "Arigatou Hogo-chan." she said finally, smiling sweetly.

"Very pretty words Hogo Jiyuujin. It's more difficult when the battleground is as close to home as it is right now." Gaara said dryly, and Hogo looked up, surprised at the venom in his voice. There were no words for what she could see going on in his eyes. It looked like he was barely restraining himself from killing her, from eating her alive or God knew what. She felt the bottom of her stomach drop out. What had she ever done to deserve that look? He was looking at her like he_hated_ her. "And what is that supposed to mean?" she managed to choke out, praying she didn't sound as hurt as she felt. He must hate her after last night. She didn't expect any logic out of it, this was Gaara after all. She had never understood him for a second. He gave a grunt of disgusted amusement, flickering his eyes lazily elsewhere. Naruto looked like he was anxious to interrupt with some kind of defence, having been drawn into events by the tense silence, but Hogo held up a hand for him to stop. Neji simply watched with a severe, narrow expression.

"If you're trying to say that you don't trust me Gaara, then just say it." she grated out, tasting blood she had been biting her cheek so viciously. His gaze slowly returned to hers. "What does it matter whether I trust you or not?" he murmured caustically, and she wanted to scream from frustration.

Everything inside her shrieked "It matters to ME!" but all she could do was look at him as she felt hollowed out and replaced by a numbing coldness.

"I thought we were friends." His expression did not change as he met her gaze, and even though she was sure her eyes were filling with tears she would not look away. "But I guess if we're not, then it doesn't matter at all."

"That's enough. You both know that this type of talk will not aid the mission. Or your village. It will only make working together awkward." said Neji smoothly, looking from one to the other. When the silence merely continued he wearily rolled his eyes and looked up at the sun "We can continue for another hour or so and then we should head back towards the village to reconvene with Team Two and see if they've had any luck. Considering they haven't sent a messenger out to us, I doubt they've located the spy."

"No."

Neji looked back round to see that Gaara's hands were clenched so tight that blood was ponderously dripping into the sand beneath his feet, his nails digging into his palms. His eyes looked positively murderous, and he had not taken their gaze from Hogo, though the pupils twitched erratically. Slowly Neji moved forward, suspecting any abrupt movement would set the unstable Shinobi off, and put himself between Gaara and the two kunoichi.

"No?" he repeated, raising his eyebrows. "We want to get rid of these traitors? I'll get rid of them." Gaara growled, turning smoothly and slamming both palms to the desert floor.

"Gaara..." Hogo began uncertainly, but she was cut off instantly by Gaara's voice, filling up the air around them with dark,savage power. "**SABAKU TAISO**!" (Desert Requiem)

Neji grabbed hold of Hinata and kept her upright as the very ground beneath their feet trembled. Naruto let out a yelp of surprise as he wavered on one leg before losing his balance altogether and landing flat on his back, feeling all the air knocked out of him as shockwave after shockwave of pure chakra pulsed through the ground beneath him. Tightening his hold on Hinata, Neji narrowed his eyes in disbelief as ripples in the sand could be clearly seen emanating out from Gaara's palms. "Gaara _stop it_!" he snarled, sensing the dark malicious aura around Gaara growing as his control over himself wavered. He detected a blur that could only be Hogo shooting forward and gripping hold of Gaara's arm.

"GAARA, STOP IT RIGHT NOW!"

Hinata opened one eye, peeking out reluctantly to see that Hogo had a bone-crunching grip on Gaara's forearm and that she had pulled him upright. All around them, after the positive earthquake Gaara had created, felt agonisingly still. She noticed a bead of sweat trailing down Hogo's forehead, and that her arm was trembling as she tried to retain hold of Gaara. It was all she could do not to bury her face in the warm chest beside her. She had grown in bravery as well as skills but the two chakra's colliding against each other before her were terrifying - she could practically see literal rips in the genjutsu Hogo used to conceal her chakra as it pulsed savagely behind it, animalistic in its desire to counter the immense ki of Gaara.

"Don't, touch me." Gaara slowly hissed, his eyes never wavering from hers. When she made no reply, simply tightening her hold on his arm, he swung round and flung her away from him, sending her several feet backwards before landing with a muted 'thud' into the sand. None of them knew if the silence was one of pain physical or emotional as she slowly sat up, saying nothing, breathing slowly. Gradually, she allowed her gaze to lift.

"I despise you." she said emptily, her eyes vacant of any feeling, before standing and bulleting off into the distance alone.

There was a moment or two of silence wherein no one knew what to say, during which Hinata realised from the exotic and yet familiar scent around her, that she was in fact being held by Neji-nii-san. She felt her face heat with embarassment at the sensation of his arm linked protectively around her waist, remaining utterly frozen so that she would not have to decide between moving away from him or moving closer. A smell she knew so well, and yet only from a distance, a thin approximation, and now she was so close she could practically taste him, feeling the warmth of his chest against her shoulder. She had presumed that it was someone else, Naruto, anyone. Certainly not Neji...

Naruto turned to Gaara, eyes flaming with anger. "Gaara..." he began only to be smoothly cut off. "Do not involve yourself in this Naruto. You couldn't understand." Gaara said harshly, his face utterly immovable, determinedly as empty as Hogo's had been. "All I understand is that you're throwing away a friend teme!" snarled Naruto furiously, rounding on Gaara. "Friend? Is that what she is?" Gaara countered dispassionately, his eyes following the direction that she had gone.

"Do you even need to ask! She spends her entire time following you around, protecting you, giving you everything she has!"

"She does these things because it is her job. She was appointed to guard me by the Elders." Gaara said, although his eyes did not shift from the point on the horizon where Hogo had disappeared altogether.

"Bullshit!" Naruto roared furiously, allowing his hot-headed nature to get the better of him, ignoring any concerns he had about the power of Gaara. "The entire time we were coming back to Suna she was worrying about you - she couldn't stop thinking about you! That's more than loyalty to her village and you know it, that's more than loyalty altogether!"

"Gggaara-sama..."

Gaara's eyes flickered round in complete surprise to the meek, pretty girl that Neji was cradling. She looked absolutely terrified but at the same time quite determined and eventually met his gaze.

"... I'm sure that Hogo-chan cares for you. It's the true sign of caring for someone, when you know that they don't need you to protect them, and you want to do it all the same. Hogo wants to protect you even if you don't need her to."

Gaara's thoughts were a mindfield of conflicting emotions and instincts, all bubbling away at incomprehensible speed. She could not really care for him, she could not genuinely CARE, he was... he was Sabaku No Gaara. He was the monster he was the beast of the Sand he was a _monster_, how could he expect her to care, how could he endure her not caring when she was all he wanted? He'd rather kill her than have her look at him in disgust as she would if she knew that he wanted her...

All of his thoughts were swept clean as he heard the piercing sound of a whistle being frantically blown in the distance.

Hogo.

* * *

Whoooo! Don't kill me cuz it's short, I'm being a tease! (runs away from the weaponry thrown her way) but I love you all! RnR, it's good for your emotional health XD! 


	7. Confrontations

**(Dances round in circles until she gets dizzy, yelling in the way Naruto would yell 'RAMEN RAMEN', 'REVIEWS REVIEWS') **Apologies, I am not deranged. I'm merely gleeeeeeful that I still got reviews after my diddy chapter and that only a few people threw sharp pointy things at me. So thank you thank you THANK YOU, you're all marvellous! This ones got action! WOO! And people being angsty, though not extremely so. And I also need to apologise for not having the translation for the technique that Hogo uses in this one because uhh... I can't get through to the person translates them for me **(looks embarassed at her lame excuse).**

Also, just so people know, I'm kinda writing an alternate reality oneshot to this story, where Hogo IS on the side of the missing-nin and HAS been sent to incapacitate Gaara, and how their relationship would have been different (sorry if that ruined anything for people, but C'MON, I'd say it's pretty obvious that Hogo's not going to betray the village in this version!). Its a lot darker than this one and a lot more **(ahem) **graphic so I'll probably end up putting it on adultfanfiction instead. Just in case anyone's interested XD!

burn - I don't normally do cliffhangers cuz when other people do them I sit there frothing going 'NOOOO you evil mongoose, WHY?' So I'm sorry (**looks contrite)**

kimahrigirl - hehehe I laughed so much when I saw that - 'Go save Hogo Gaara!' You bribe me with cherries so I'm obliged to do whatever you want **(is a cherry junkie)** Glad you think I'm keeping Gaara in character XD. Angst in this one toooo!

Blackeelamgal9 - Heehee, guess I just need to get my mind out of the gutter! But I like it there (**sulk) **Thankee so much!

Cheh - YAY glad you liked the Hinata Hogo stuff, I realised that I'dnot had them saying anything to each other and considering they're both from renowned clans they'd have a lot to say to each other. Also YAY to you getting what I was trying to do with what Hinata was saying to Gaara XD! Neji's in for many a surprise! Gaara's just being a moody hormonal (and yet very pretty) shukaku boy, shame on him!

mellyd - NejiHina, NejiHina, they're sooooo cute! Now all I have to do is get poor old Hinata to stop blushing...

cutieangel - Oooh no, I hate to cause disappointment! You can hit me with ummm... uhh... **(looks around her room) **a shoe? This ones bigger (the chapter... not the shoe...)

AnimeSiren - YAY glad you like it! NejiHina's a slow builder but I'm getting there **(shakes her fist determinedly)**

Beatrix Kiddo - Hehe 'Today class, we'll be teaching you about Hogo's clan'. I knoooooow Naruto needs more time, as does Rock Lee, I feel like I'm betraying them! I find them quite hard characters to write though and since they're normally quite talkative it'd have to be a bit with them going on for hoooours heheee. I've tried to give Naruto more action in this one though. What scared me the most about you saying you were mad at me was the :D after it, heehehee, not even the kunais you threw at me! **(runs away from the Sabaku Taiso) **Ok this won't help but I don't wanna die! The quote is all yours m'dear XD!

BIng - Glad it is liked, and glad someone isn't killing me over the cliffy **(sweatdrop)**

Gun.God.Angel - Thankee very muchly, taadaaaaaa! **(waves at next chapter)**

Enjoy peoples

* * *

**Team Two...**

"Are you going to admit that you've lost the scent dog boy or are we simply going to have to follow you in circles for the rest of the afternoon?"

Kiba stiffened and shot a glare back over his shoulder at Temari, attempting to ignore her as Akamaru gave a snuffling growl of disappointment next to him, sniffing the air vigorously. He stopped abruptly at the precipice of a sharp dip in the desert, wherein dozens of craggy rocks scattered the ground, all sand-blasted into smooth, pale obscurity. Some were no taller than any of the shinobi in height, whilst others were three times the size both lengthways and around. Kiba scanned the area tensely, feeling Shikamaru land alongside him.

"Anything Kiba?" he asked quietly, taking into account Kiba's clear irritation. Kiba flipped his hood down and ran both hands through his hair exasperatedly, moving restlessly on the balls of his feet. After they had scouted around the village as intended, he had picked up a scent that he could distinguish was not from their other team. The pursuit of it out in to the desert however, was proving more of a problem. "I'm not used to the terrain yet. The airs thinner here, there's less smells populating it, and almost no humidity..."

"Surely if there's less smell you should be able to detect the spy easily." cut in Kankarou, to which Temari hmmmphed in agreement. Kiba snorted with scorn and plumped himself down on the edge of the precipice, and Shikamaru was quite ready to believe he was sulking.

"Please do not be like that Kankarou-san." said Rock Lee firmly, causing the man in question to turn at him with a raised eyebrow. Lee grinned widely, looking none the worse for wear after their long race through the desert, clearly fired up with determination. "Kiba-san is trying his best."

"Smell isn't as simple as you think it is." stated Shikamaru dryly. "If there's no humidity, the scent doesn't linger as long, and with how little there is out here, there aren't any other smells to provide contrasts that give you focus..."

"All I can smell is bloody sand and the wind..." growled Kiba through his teeth, accepting a fed-up looking Akamaru on to his lap and petting him.

"Marvellous then! This is productive." Kankarou growned, removing Karasu from his back and flopping to the floor. Temari grunted disdainfully at her little brother before stepping up to Shikamaru.

"So, what's the next plan?" she said in a low voice. Shikamaru was vaguely surprised that she was bothering to be sensitive about Kiba's inability to follow the trail. "Kiba's still our best chance of tracking this spy down. Once Kiba's become used to the subtleties of the smells here, we'll have to try again. In the mean time..."

"Check the surrounding terrain to note anything of importance before heading back." She cut him off, uttering more or less the exact words he had intended to. She chuckled at his blatant surprise, flicking one golden bunch of hair over her shoulder with arrogant suppleness. "Oh, what a team leader you are, what a man!" she teased sarcastically, poking him in the chest. "Hey, there's no need to go and affront my masculinity." Shikamaru objected.

Kankarou blinked, taking in the picture of Temari standing close - EXTREMELY close - to Shikamaru, hands on hips, head tilted in mock-coyness. Wow. Temari was being outrageously blatant, and their team leader still seemed utterly clueless. Kankarou rolled his eyes and let his head sink back into the sand again, wondering how he was going to deal with two love-sick siblings. Tease them mercilessly undoubtedly...

"How can I affront your masculinity when its so distinctly lacking? Where are you hiding it anyway?" she retorted challengingly, raising a teasing eyebrow, her pretty lips quirked in a smile. Shikamaru found himself overwhelmingly tempted to slip his arms around her waist and kiss her senseless to show her just where he'd been hiding it, but decided against it. Flirty banter or otherwise, Temari was more than likely to rip his head off if he even tried it.

"Let's get moving. Kiba, come on we've got to have a look South before we can head back." he called to Kiba, missing the look of disappointment in Temari's face as he hastily backed away from her. The boy in question had stood up again, his back ruler straight in concentration. He meticulously sniffed the air, acutely aware. For just a second or two he had caught the flaring of that scent, but it was gone again before he could determine what direction it had come from. Frustrated, but consoling himself with the fact that there was always tomorrow, he joined the rest of his team to head back into the desert.

* * *

**Team One...**

Hogo let out a grunt of exertion as her boot met the head of the shinobi before her, his neck audibly snapping from the force she had put into it, her entire bodily momentum behind that kick. Allowing the momentum to carry her all the way round again, she continued running, her lungs burning fire, adrenaline coursing as she continued to blow the whistle intermittently. She sensed another closing in to her right and bristled at the sensation of chakra accumulation. A Katon technique.

Cursing herself, cursing the anger that was making it harder to concentrate, she focused all her energy and willpower and bulleted forward, rolling and flipping away from the intensely hot flames headed towards her. She sensed another to her right who had clearly predicted her trajectory, even if he couldn't see her at the speed she was going at, and collected chakra in her feet and knees before shooting upwards into the sky away from his genjutsu attack, spinning in momentary stasis above their heads. Thirty two; her eyes calculatedly efficiently. In other words, a lot. More than even she could handle alone, unless she thought fast and did something drastic. Her attention was caught by a chuunin she recognised, a girl who could not be more than a year older than her. Rage returned full force, hot fury that only partially encompassed the sadness she felt at that moment. These people were meant to be her comrades.

It was then that she decided to stop thinking of the anger inside her as a detriment, and Gaara came to her mind again. But of course he did. Gaara. He might as well be tattooed to her like that scar of 'Love', an ironic grotesque, on his forehead.

Even as she was hitting the ground, breaking into a run on landing, flipping on to her hands and agilely kicking away some feigning attacks, she was smiling.

_Father, you lied to me. There is no difference between the battleground and our own lives. This conflict shows me everything that you made me stand for means nothing. Our allies are shinobi, our family are murderers, our friends traitors, our loves... monsters. So let us all be monsters._

Nothing but ruthless power generated her movements then as she whipped out of the dense circle in a splattering of blood, performing a dozen or so hand seals as she did so. For the first time in a long time, she released the genjutsu that concealed her chakra.

The nearest flinched as though she had backhanded them across the face, and those at a distance felt on a more visceral level, a tremor of total unease. Hogo almost groaned aloud at the sheer sense of release. It was like the removal of a restrictive band about her chest, the hacking off of manacles. Familiar power soared through her with refreshing liberty and she felt almost drugged by the sense of freedom it gave her. She allowed the dark smile on her face to spread before uttering the jutsu

**"(Hells Retribution)"**

There was a limit to how many it could work on. She wasn't like Gaara after all; but as she felt the power coursing out of her she knew that it would be more than enough to tip things to her advantage.

Demons, comprised of nothing but fire and shadows and hollow shrieking screams, crept out from the Earth, growing even as the Shinobis' fear grew, amassing their terror to them like sustenance before pouncing in attack. The blood-curling howls and wails of pain were enough to send some of those who had not been captured in the jutsu running for their lives from what they thought must be an invisible enemy.

Thirteen. Not many, but certainly enough. She stepped back idly as one collapsed at her feet in a paralysis of suffering, a demon's teeth clamped into his abdomen, sucking his very ki out of him. His eyes met hers in blurred recognition before they misted over in death.

The remaining Shinobi were managing to collect themselves, and some were even attempting to dispel the jutsu from the thirteen, grabbing and shaking them, even striking them to render them sensible. She knew it would not work. This was an extremely high level jutsu - one that penetrated to the very core of primal fear in people. They weren't dying from anything other than simple terror, and nothing could rip them out of it again.

A ripping noise to her left made her aware that someone was coming towards her fast. Very fast.

"Treacherous BITCH!" the Shinobi roared, eyes alight with fury. Hogo's ferally aware gaze came up to meet her... and then her view was intercepted by several blurs of orange.

"Naruto RENDAN!"

She blinked slowly at the sight of multiple blond-haired shinobi's despatching the girl with ruthless efficiency. She had been aware of the Kage Bunshin, but had never actually seen it performed before. One of the Naruto's dropped to her side in a fighting stance, and the others disappeared with a puff of smoke and a short-circuiting of chakra. He grinned at her apologetically "Sorry we took a while, but you move very fast when you're being chased Hogo-san!" He seemed to do a double-take and looked round at her, blue eyes stretched wide. "You're..." he began, but she pressed a finger to his lips before performing the necessary Secret technique seal to conceal her chakra again. Naruto said nothing, continuing to give her that surprised expression as she felt the presence of the others arriving.

"Impeccable timing my friends." she said warmly, staring severely at the recollected group of missing-nin that were beginning to surround them. "I was just picking off the ones that were running away. You seem to have been giving them quite a scare Hogo." Neji said in dry amusement, though his face was as ever impassive, the intense power of the Byakugan adding fierceness to his features. Hogo shrugged the compliment off "Just my usual parlour tricks." Hinata gazed round at the bodies that were littered on the desert floor. If this was a parlour trick she hated to see what Hogo considered serious violence.

Sixteen were left. Plenty enough for all of them then, Hogo thought cruelly, bitterness overtaking any reservations she had. It was a farce, everything that she had been fighting for. But that didn't mean she could stop fighting. Her pathetic ideas of honour, her love for her village, even the shattered ideal of what her father had tried to make a reality for her, would not allow her to stop fighting. There had never been any other alternative. She felt Gaara's dark chakra behind her and bristled in renewed anger that was the only response she was prepared to give. Better that than misery, better that than simpering like the weak thing she always felt she was around Gaara. Why let him have the pleasure of knowing how easily he could hurt her?

It didn't matter if the loyalty, the devotion, the nameless feelings, were only one-sided. She had already chosen.

The fight began again with the abruptness of a startled scream as some missing-nin leapt forwards, Naruto performing a replication of ten clones that proceeded to fly into the mix.

And then there was the familiar rush of blurred, sweaty battle, and Hogo was relieved she wouldn't have to think any longer as she flung herself forward...

* * *

Neji's attempts to stay close to Hinata were near impossible in the psychotic flurry of flailing limbs and falling bodies, although he maintained her within the all-seeing gaze of his Byakugan, feeling her there at the back of his conscious even if he could not fully concentrate on her. He deflected a kunai attack with his chakra before slamming his palm into the shinobi's chest, sending the nin flying several feet up in the air and backwards to lie dead on the sand floor. He balked in amazement as he saw Naruto easily evade the blades of several missing nin, erupting from beside them in his real form to knock them both unconscious. Clearly Naruto had improved even further his manipulation of his shadow clones.

"Neji, heads up!" he yelled, booting a further shinobi in his direction with the Naruto Rendan whom Neji swiftly dispatched. God only knew what Gaara was doing, but if the screams from off behind him to his left were anything to go by, he didn't want to concentrate his attention that way. Parrying three shinobi off with the Divination Whirl, he leapt back in skirting leaps through the roaring walls of sand that he only presumed were coming from Gaara also. The team were progressively beginning to spread out as the fight scattered in numerous directions; Gaara behind him, Hogo sprinting off at a psychotically fast pace ahead of him, Naruto to his right...

He cursed as he realised he'd lost focus on where Hinata was, spinning agilely away from a kick only to flip over the missing-nin's head and ruthlessly render a fatal palm strike to his spine. Amidst the whipping coils of sand he had to bite down on the urge to call her name above the battle-roar, determined to maintain his calm. He then realised she was on the border of his divination, and that she was surrounded by five opponents. An icy chill of panic bit into his heart. Soft, kind Hinata. Five of them.

A growl thrummed in the back of his throat as he bulleted forwards, zipping through the walls of sand. "Neji, what are you doing...!" he heard Naruto call after him, vaguely irritated to realise the boy was following him. "Hinata's in trouble." he yelled back, only to find himself being abruptly snapped to a halt. He blinked. Then looked back at the hand that had imprisoned his wrist.

"Naruto what the HELL are you doing! Get off me now." he snarled, the veins around his eyes raising in fury against his own teammate. Naruto shook his head grimly "You need to see this." he said.

"Don't make me hurt you Naruto. If it came to it I'd kill you if you tried to stop me helping her."

Naruto started at this statement, slackening his grip on Neji but not releasing him altogether. Spoken with such utter conviction. "Neji..." he murmured, eyes wide. Neji's eyes in turn wavered and he finally turned away, tensing up into frosty silence. He did not understand where those words had come from, especially to Naruto, a friend he respected. They had ripped out of his mouth in total gut-instinct, he had had no choice in the matter. Embarassed and furious, he ripped his arm away, intent on heading forward again, only for Naruto to firmly clamp a hand on his shoulder, glaring at him determinedly.

"I heard you say to Hinata she needed to prove herself. Let her do it!" he insisted, squeezing the shoulder he held in reassurance.

"I won't let her be hurt just to prove a point!" Neji roared

"JUST WATCH!" screamed Naruto back and Neji positively seethed with rage but snapped his head in the direction of Hinata, keeping himself rigidly alert should she need his help.

She looked utterly calm, her beautiful face serene but at the same time severe. His eyes trailed her movements with a fellow warrior's attention to detail, watching one graceful wrist arch up as a trail of chakra extended from her palm. He could barely even register the shinobi that were charging towards her as her other hand initiated her byakugan. Unbelievably flexible and graceful, the arms began dancing about her form, ribbon thin lines of chakra shooting out from them as her pace began to increase. Her eyes widened with an almost eerie power on a face that sweet as her limbs became a frenzied blur all around her, chakra creating a filligree cage of razor-sharp aggression. The first ninja to make contact was sent soaring back as though he'd hit a charging animal, the compressed power of the chakra leaving him in a broken heap twenty feet away. Each of the remaining four came to the same condition, unable to penetrate Hinata's ultimate defense.

She was breathtaking. Mesmerising. Her arms began to gradually slow and she wavered slightly as if made dizzy by her efforts before coming to a stop, looking nervously about her as if to ensure she had done well. Neji was vaguely aware of Naruto running forward from beside him, could just about hear his yells of "Hinata, that was so cool! Every time you do that it looks SO cool!". But that didn't matter because he couldn't take his eyes off her. The sharp sting of shame, like a burn to his chest, suddenly hit him. He was surprised he was even still standing, that he hadn't simply slumped to the floor in disbelief.

_"I... I've been training very_ _hard. I don't want you to think of me as a burden." she continued into his stunned silence, taking it for scorn. His heart clenched as he saw that her lip was trembling. Had he hurt her that much?_

"Hinata... I've... underestimated you." he murmured under his breath, watching her cheeks flush slightly as Naruto slung a delighted arm around her shoulders. He did not speak it loud enough for either of them to hear, because even now he did not know how he could bring himself to speak in such a manner to her. But he would learn. He intended to, now more than ever.

* * *

Hogo wondered how much longer she could simply stand there, staring down Gaara. Attempting to in truth, for he had no intention of looking away either, the sand whipping around them causing turrets of wind to blur both of their visions of one another.

"D'you expect me to say thank you or something?" she said finally in a malicious whisper. The whimpers of the man between them, coiled in sand, did nothing to make her hard expression waver. She wondered with idle curiousity why it no longer concerned her that this man's legs had been crushed. There seemed to be nothing left but these idle questions - what was she capable of? If seeing this man killed no longer even brought out a flickering of remorse in her, what would she be? But of course, he was not dead yet. Not yet.

"I don't expect anything from you." Gaara purred in calm derision. She had been dealing with the nin that had surrounded her perfectly well, and had then become aware of the involvement of Gaara's sand.

Every inch of her inside and out felt hard and fossilized and purged for battle. It felt like the only familiarity now, the only sanctuary where she knew what was expected of her. Since her expectations seemed rendered useless, she might as well adhere to the expectations of battle. At least it was a constant amidst all of this. Even if the battle was now against... against those that should have been her comrades.

His eyes were still that unreadable blue-green and behind the bone-hard viciousness that childish curiousity, terrifyingly alien in its detachment, wondered why he was aiding her when he had shown quite clearly that he thought nothing of her.

"Hhogo... Jiyuujin..."

At first she could not think who could be speaking, and then with a sinking darkness that enveloped her heart and dragged it somewhere into her stomach, she realised it was the dying man between her and Gaara. Her eyes left Gaara's to meet his ones, feverish with pain, unfocused.

"Hogo Jiyuujin... please... would you ask my... my wife... to forgive me...?"

Numb with incomprehension, that alien aspect of her registered that she recognised him. Kazuki Amano, his wife Natsumi was a teacher at the ninja academy. She had remained in the village when he had disappeared.

"I.. only wished... to make our village... great. To make her.. proud... Will you... make sure she is alright? I know.." the man's words were interrupted as he spat out blood in spasmodic coughs, and Hogo's world momentarily blurred with red hot tears. Clearly there was still time for tears she dimly thought as the dark savagery that had enveloped her like a murderous skin shattered. "I.. know the Jiyujin clan to be an honorable one... I know I can.. can trust you to care for her... Please..."

Clenching her teeth against further tears, she nodded in bitter acknowledgement of the feeble link they had as two former friends on different sides of a fight. She looked away, not wanting to see when his eyes finally misted over in Death.

She was tired. Her heart was very, very tired and she knew that nothing would fix that in this barren desert with this empty future that only offered the death of people she had loved, and no consolation in the arms of anything true or real. All she had were ideas, an Idea of protecting her village, an Idea of loyalty to her clan. And she would stay dutiful to them, even if she now realised their hollow nature. Protecting her village against half of her own villagers. Being loyal to her clan, when her own father was only God knew where. Wearily, she staggered slowly away from Kazuki's corpse, trailing steps leaving snake-like trails in the sand behind her.

"Your father is right."

She did not turn to see him. She knew Gaara's face like she knew her own, and she could feel those eyes in her back as the wind blew her hair in to her eyes. She wanted to fall into the wind and sleep there forever.

"Our lives are not a battleground. But our lives aren't anything less savage."

She wondered what he wanted. She wondered why he was looking at her, as she knew he was. She wondered why she wanted to be pathetic and vulnerable and cling onto him and cry.

"... Our only compensation is we get to experience some beautiful things every now and then."

She would not be pathetic and vulnerable, she would not cling onto him. But she could certainly cry, with her back to him, and continue walking away.

* * *

Back at Suna...

"I'm quite sure I told you guys to avoid getting into any combat situations." Shikamaru said dryly, looking at the vaguely bedraggled looking Team One. They had regrouped in the Jiyuujin's estate and were seated around for a meal that had been prepared for them by the servants. Temari, Gaara and Kankarou had joined them, something which would have surprised Hogo if she had possessed the energy to feel it. Temari had joined her for a meal before, but the other two rarely bothered.

Neji shrugged "It became unavoidable. Hogo was.. separated from the group and was attacked." he stated tactfully, his expression not altering. Hogo was grateful the Hyuuga was an immaculate liar. Suggesting that she had gone streaking off on her own after a tiff with the shukaku-container didn't say much for her maturity or team skills. "You don't look any the worse for it though Hogo-chan!" exclaimed Kiba, slinging an arm around her shoulder and grinning, nearly making her spill her tea all over her clothes. She managed a smile back "You seem happy considering you guys didn't have any luck."

"That's because me and Akamaru are getting used to the air here! We'll definitely find this guy tomorrow!" he declared excitably, Akamaru yapping in seeming agreement. Hogo smiled slightly in response, regretting she could not bring out more enthusiasm for Kiba. When she saw his face droop slightly in disappointment at her lack of response, she internally growled her irritation at herself. The poor guy was doing all he could for this village. He didn't even have the reasons of loyalty that she did. She glanced across at Naruto who was likewise yammering about his fight to anyone who would listen, Shikamaru rolling his eyes at a dryly amused Temari

"...then this other guy appeared and I thought he was going to slice me for sure, but I got out of the way in time..."

Neji and Hinata were also listening as they ate, although Hogo did not miss a brief but charged moment between them. Hinata's eyes had lifted from her plate to see that Neji's gaze was levelly meeting hers. Blushing she had initially looked away, only to shyly bring her eyes back and see that he was still looking at her, lifting his glass to her in a slight toast. Her blush increased tenfold as she lifted her cup swiftly likewise, sipping and smiling at him nervously.

As soon as it was socially tolerable for her to do so after the meal had finished, she slipped out, knowing that the shinobi would be able to find their way to their beds by themselves. The streets of Suna weren't exactly a welcoming place at nighttime, but then maybe that was the point. She simply wanted to drift through the world for a while in blurred anonymity, pretending that none of it affected her. It was certainly easy in these dark bleeding shadows, the whistling wind murmuring thinly over the rooftops. Mostly it was completely silent, save for a few drinking establishments where muted golden light intruded upon this shadowy twilight with a sense of clarity, reality. She had been walking for nearly fifteen minutes, the aggravations and sense of emptiness not leaving but certainly calming, when she saw a group of boys up ahead of her and mentally groaned.

Yasuhiko and his gang. Since that first occasion when she had kissed Yasuhiko, he had pressed her repeatedly to continue seeing him, to go out on dates and so forth, getting quite annoyingly forceful on some occasions. She even recalled having to throw him off when he had shoved her into a wall to demand another kiss. It wasn't even that she hadn't been interested - he was fun and interesting, if arrogant and, as his later behaviour had proved, immature. But there was no time in her life for him, not with her role with Gaara. When she had attempted to explain this to him he had translated this into meaning that Gaara was the reason she wouldn't go out with him. She had realised he was the last person she wanted to be around when he had shown active disgust at the mention of Gaara's name.

"It looks like the evening just got more lively guys, Hogo-chan's here!" he exclaimed, his friends catcalling in response. She remained rigid with tension, attempting to walk through them only for Yasuhiko to sling an arm around her shoulder and slow her. "Awwww come on Ho-chan, keep us company, we're heading over to Kaori's, you look like you need loosening up." he said, murmuring the last in a low undertone whilst bringing his mouth close to her neck. She stepped easily out from under his arm and continued through the rest of them. "No thanks boys. Another time." she replied coolly, ignoring their loud and excessive complaints.

"Oh of course I forgot Hogo, are you running off to follow the monster?"

Hogo slowed to a halt at this, Yasuhiko's friends laughing raucously as he warmed to his theme, disdain dripping from every utterance.

"If you had to choose someone to follow around like a pathetic puppy, I'm sure you could have chosen better than that thing. He's more likely to kill you than look at you."

"... What would you know about it?"

The laughter diminished slightly, if not entirely, at the feral snarl that came from Hogo's throat. She slowly turned to face them, a sneer lighting her lips that stopped their laughter altogether.

"You pathetic little boys, who like to act like men. Who like to cling on to what their parents told them 'Gaara of the Sand's a monster'. Aren't you clever for parrot-talking what your mummy told you Yasuhiko."

"Watch what you're saying Hogo Jiyuujin. You really are an idiot if you think Gaara's anything less than a monster." Yasuhiko growled, bristling with irritation, his friends beginning to look uneasy. Hogo was remaining quite unearthly still, but her lips parted in a slight, sarcastic smile.

"If that man is a monster, I'd take a monster a thousand times, over a pathetic little worm like you."

Her grin broadened into pure, furious delight as Yasuhiko launched forward with a roar of annoyance, swinging his arm round to punch her and only meeting air as she spun artfully to his left, one leg sweeping out to send him tripping to the floor. Her foot stamped down on his chest, making him hack as the air left his lungs, and she gave his friends a look that effectively paralysed them in place.

"I have no qualms, in making your life a nightmare. I can rip your mind to pieces. If you wish to test it, say such things about Gaara again." Her eyes bred violence as she stared down at Yasuhiko, grinding her foot harder into his breastbone, hearing it creak under the pressure as he whimpered in distress.

"JUST GIVE ME AN EXCUSE AND I'LL MAKE YOU REGRET SEEING HIM AS A MONSTER!"

* * *

She was not surprised when she entered her room and he was sitting on her windowsill, clearly waiting for her. Her brain numbly thought that she wanted to go to bed. Nothing else really seemed to matter.

"What did you do that for?"

She didn't even feign confusion at the question, too exhausted mentally and emotionally to care.

"Do what for?" she said disinterestedly, moving to behind her screen and slipping out of sand-encrusted clothing. Despite her weariness, her spine prickled with the awareness of Gaara's eyes on her, seemingly trying to burn a hole through the screen.

"Attack Yasuhiko. Were you trying to impress me?"

"I didn't even know you were following me until I was on my way home."

"Then why?"

She noted his voice was closer and turned to see that he was more or less on the other side of the screen now, his dark red hair visible over the top though thankfully he couldn't see over.

"What does it matter. We're not friends, right? So leave me to my own damn business, I can fight whoever I please." she retorted coldly, leaving her clothes in a pile behind the screen and slipping into her nightdress. As she stepped out from behind the screen he gripped her wrist tightly, stopping her short. She was getting a little tired of people grabbing hold of her this evening.

"Not when you're fighting someone about me. That's not your business." he murmured, simply maintaining his grip when she attempted to flip his hand away.

"I assure you it is." she grated through tightly clenched teeth. What did he expect? A confession of her loyalty? She thought she'd already offered that when she'd kissed him even though he was simply using her as a test subject.

"Explain." he said, his eyes narrowing.

"You never have to explain yourself, why should I? You've never explained why you follow me around."

"You're not me." he drawled, ignoring her last statement.

"No, I'm someone a great deal more emotional and irrational, and when I've spent the last six months with someone every second, devoting my time to protecting them, to helping them, to learning who they are, I start to care about them. But then that's emotional irrationality for you, now if you wouldn't mind letting go of me I want to sleep."

Gaara had, though she had not even registered it as it happened, got closer, drawing her inexorably forward by her wrist. He was close enough that his hot breath touched her face as he blinked, slowly, face impassive although those eyes seemed to be working something out in his head frantically. Her brain, unbidden, thought of the last time he had been this close.

"You're saying... I'm an important person to you?"

"Let go of me Gaara."

"... No."

"... I'm saying that you can say we're not friends, you can feel nothing for the rest of your life, you can continue to simply see me as a useful little assistant to have around, it doesn't change a thing. And that's all I'm saying, now please let go of me."

Gaara looked to the floor for a moment or so, not relinquishing his tight hold on her wrist, concentrating. When his eyes met hers again they were almost insanely calm.

She didn't want any more of this. No more vulnerabilities as she admitted she would be here forever whether he cared or not. No more cutting indifference, even though it was the only thing she was going to get.

"I've decided something."

Letting out her breath in an agonising sigh, she was relieved that he had finally let go of her wrist, rubbing one hand over her eyes, "What have you decided Gaara?" she mumbled, automatically, ready to facilitate the man she guarded.

The firm body being pressed up against her, forcing her back into the wall, was enough to make her open her eyes again. "I've decided, I want another kiss." he drawled into her ear, pinning her hands to the wall beside her waist. She opened her mouth, to object or what she did not know, only to have the option cut off as his mouth ravished hers. Her breath stuck in her throat as he possessively devoured her with kisses, his attention trailing across her jawline and onto her throat. She let out a slight whimper as he bit her neck, nipping and sucking at her earlobe. "G..Gaara..." she managed to stammer finally only for him to silence her, this kiss more persuasive, though just as forceful. "You... talk too much.." he murmured in between the hot wet kisses, tightening his hold on her wrists when she wriggled them. She let out a whine of distress that he wasn't allowing her to touch him, mind still reeling at how she had found herself in this situation yet again. When he finally let go of her wrists it was to slid his hands up her long neck into her hair, pulling her even closer, his body pressed tightly against hers. Barely even caring that Gaara was hardly giving her enough time to breathe amidst all these kisses, she raked her nails gently down his back, earning an abrupt half-gasp for her trouble.

The knock at the door made her freeze, but seemed to do nothing to deter Gaara who continued voraciously nibbling and sucking her throat.

"Hogo-sama? Hogo-sama are you awake?"

The hand she used to feebly try and shove him off was instantly trapped against the wall again and she had to stifle a groan as he gave her shoulder a particularly fierce bite. "Gaara, there's someone..." she said breathlessly.

"I don't care." he growled, one hand squeezing her hip and pulling her abruptly up against him.

"Hogo-sama, Ryoushin-sama would like to speak with you."

Hogo mentally cursed her bad luck, not sure if she was going to be able to stop Gaara even if she wanted him to. She was surprised then when he paused, resting his forehead against hers and breathely heavily, eyes closed, clearly trying to calm down. When his eyes opened again they were glinting with desire. She smiled uncertainly, not knowing what any of this meant.

"You're certainly learning fast what it's like to kiss someone." she whispered, and his eyes twinkled with amusement.

"Not fast enough when we're constantly interrupted." he murmured back, giving her a deliberately sensuous, teasing kiss, before putting distance between them and opening the door to the bewildered looking servant.

"Hogo will be right there."

* * *

**(Gurn, gurn and thrice Gurn)** Hope you liked it, RnR my pretties! XXX


	8. Where are your Loyalties strongest?

Oh... my... GOD... **(runs around in circles squealing until she hits a wall)** I can't BELIEVE how nice you people are! I seriously did not expect to get so many reviews about this, thankyou SO SO much! **(lines you all up and has a glomp-fest)** One disadvantage to this is that I can't really write personal responses to reviews anymore, otherwise most of each chapter would be me responding to those heheheheee, but nonetheless I want everyone to know I'm quite hideously chuffed by all yourcomments XD! There are some things I want to clear up though that people have asked/mentioned -

Blackeelamgal9 - Looking back at what I wrote I can see how you might think I was trying to suggest Hogo had a demon inside her, but uhhh she doesn't lol! It's just meant to be that when she cancels the genjutsu that conceals her chakra it kind of gives her a buzz of power and she can go a little haywire - imagine like wearing a corset all the time (if you ever have heheheee XD) and then taking it off and feeling how easily you can breathe, so you think you can run for miles. THAT'S what I was trying to go for, lol. And her general dark attitude in that chapter was just meant to be showing how disillusioned she was being made to feel, especially when even Gaara doesn't seem to have faith in her.

RE. LEMON - Hehehee, I'm a loser, hadn't come across this terminology before, had to ask on a LJ Community page what it meant, even though I've read plenty of fan fic which is a damned Lemon Tree of naughtiness! Nonetheless, I can't say for sure whether I'm going for a lemon or not at this stage - it would be a bother just cause I'd have to move the story off but I never know where the Hell the story's going to go next! So I fear I must keep y'all in suspense **(ducks, screams, runs etc from cutlery thrown her way) **

So once more, thank youuuuuuuu and your reviews make me giggle so much XD! Hope you enjoy this chapter - hope no one's fed up of flashbacks tehehe. Also, I have an idea of showing a more humorous, funny side to Hogo that she's been supressing during all the battles and things, kind of as a counter-balance to how serious Gaara is, so that she can help him grow a bit as a person. Lemme know what you think :S. Enjoy!

* * *

Hogo scanned the darkened room briefly, having slipped into a kimono as swiftly as possible before hurrying to Ryoushin-sama's home across the moonlit paths. Whilst her home was impressive Ryoushin-sama's was even moreso, as befit the leader of their clan. She attempted to concentrate on the silk panellings across from her as she sat and waited for Ryoushin's arrival, their images rippling and contorting in the candlelight.

Her thoughts were barely coherent, she was so lost in a mess of emotions and gut instincts. She feared that in the state she was currently in the best in conversation she could offer Ryoushin-sama was non-communicative grunts. Her feeling of disillusionment had not left; it never would, she realised, with a coldly gripping clarity. Somehow she had been managing to maintain, perceiving this chaos as her village was ripped in two from a distance, as though it did not concern her even as she dedicated every second to preventing it. Maybe she had been too occupied to notice the bitter irony of every single alliance she had turning in on itself to destroy her. The very villagers that she was attempting to protect did not trust her - even if her father had never left, had stayed beside her, they didn't dare trust the woman who willingly spent all her time with Sabaku No Gaara. But he had gone. He had left her alone to deal with their home's annihilation.

She gritted her teeth against the anger that coursed through her. 'You would be ashamed of me father,' she thought darkly 'Seeing how easily I've been made to feel hopeless, how futile my efforts are. Maybe you trusted me enough to do this alone. I wish I had the faith you have in me, in myself.'.

And of course, there was Gaara. Her eyebrows drew together in the slightest of frowns as she thought back to only a few minutes ago, to that kiss. It had been sheer possessiveness at first, but then that was typical of Gaara, the assertion of his power, but then, it had changed. To what, she did not know, for the possessiveness had remained. It had seemed to be tempered by something else. She should expect nothing of it, she knew that much. If his reaction to their first kiss was any indicator, he would probably ignore her altogether for the next few days. But then, why had he kissed her again at all?

_"I've decided, that I want another kiss."_

She shook her head in self-ridicule. She was a real fool if she was trying to put logic around Gaara's actions. He worked on impulses - he did as he pleased. Certainly he was more mature than the crazed adolescent who killed people because he could, but his irrationality had not left, it had merely been controlled. It was her own fault if she got... caught up, in what he was doing. She felt her cheeks flush momentarily with embarassed anger. She had practically given him permission to use her as a toy with her admissions of loyalty. She had essentially told him she would be there beside him no matter what he did to her.

"Total idiot.." she seethed under her breath, clenching her hands "Why did you tell him that?"

Because it was true.

She smiled sadly to herself, feeling pathetic but irrevocably honest. It was an odd, bitter acknowledgement to make to yourself, that the only concrete thing in your life, the only constant, was a mentally unstable 'Monster'. It did not make for a safe constant, a man who would one minute kiss you as if he wanted to consume you, and would the next throw you several feet for touching him. And yet absurdly, the acknowledgement calmed her. She could almost laugh at herself. Stupid Hogo Jiyuujin, who had found sanctuary in the most idiotic place. Stupid little girl, who had fallen in love with a man like Gaara.

At the end of it all, it didn't matter, even as it mattered everything to her. She would continue as always. She would fight for him and for their village, and she would give up her own sleep so that he might have a reprieve from his demons. She would simply do it with the knowledge that she was in love with him locked up in the privacy of her mind. It didn't change anything, because there was no response he could give that would be satisfactory. Gaara of the Sand, with Love scarred into his forehead, did not know how to love her.

"Hogo, it is good of you to come at such short notice."

Such thoughts weren't permitted any more consideration as Hogo looked up at the arrival of Ryoushin and his two sons before bowing her head low again. "Of course Ryoushin-sama. I am here whenever the clan might need me."

"We know your loyalty Hogo. Which is why I know that I can tell you what I am about to. I only hope your... close involvement, will not hurt you too much."

Hogo kept her eyes demurely to the floor but was taut as a livewire with tension, every muscle bunched in readiness.

"Your father - my brother- Meirou Jiyuujin. Is with Baki.". Ryoushin paused to ensure that she had taken this in, and saw that she was trembling.

"Liar."

Ryoushin blinked mildly. "Excuse me?"

"I called you a liar, Ryoushin-sama. I will never, NEVER believe that my father..."

"Show some respect Hogo-san." Kouki snapped over Hogo's vehemant growl, and her amber eyes fixed on him with vicious purpose, her hands bunching the cloth of her kimono with intense agitation.

"I would rather my father was dead than believe what you are telling me..."

"You misunderstand me Hogo-kun. I forgive your rudeness because it is this very loyalty that makes me trust you." Ryoushin said calmly, firm but gentle reprove in his tone. Her eyes returned to his in bright challenge and he smiled slightly. Hot-headed. Impulsive. Not characteristics that the Jiyuujin clan were famous for, but then Hogo had never really done things their way.

"Your father joined their ranks in order to gain information about their plans. He informed me of his intentions before he left, and told me to keep this from you in case you did something rash such as follow him. He was quite adamant that your skills were needed here." Hogo positively sagged with relief, nervously smoothing the wrinkles in her kimono.

"However, we have heard nothing from him for quite some time. I have grown concerned that he may have been discovered. Which is why I reluctantly, must go against my brother's wishes, and ask for your aid in this matter."

She nodded determinedly, governed by the sole thought of helping her father. Her heart had clenched with total uncompromising panic and fear at the thought of him in danger. "What would you have me do?"

"It would seem unusual for any of us to venture out into the desert without a mission there. There is already too much suspicion regarding the Jiyuujin clan since Meirou left and did not return. You on the other hand, are accompanying the Konoha shinobi on their missions. We need you to separate from the group and locate Meirou at their base of operations." At this he slipped a folded piece of paper across the low table to her, which she took up and opened. On it was a precisely inked map of the surrounding terrain of desert, detailing the location of the missing-nins.

She looked up sharply at Ryoushin. "You have known where they are located this entire time." Ryoushin cleared his throat in discomfort, nodding grimly, "I have. Your father informed me when he ventured back. I have not seen him since - we agreed it would be best to keep this information secret until he could assess what the missing-nin were intending to do. When he did not return, I was reluctant to offer up information to the Elders that might incriminate Meirou. If he were found to be amidst the traitors, he would be treated as one of them."

"Why shouldn't I lead the Konoha shinobi to the camp with me...?"

"The result would be the same," Shiro interrupted, his gaze cast to the floor "Furthermore, you, and the rest of the Jiyuujin clan, would also be considered suspicious, in that we knew the whereabouts of the camp and had not told anyone." Hogo kept her gaze trained on Shiro for a moment of so, considering his words carefully. It was rare for Shiro to talk - he was a cool and distant figure that she had never entirely been able to understand, far more engaged in his studies than anything else.

"So... in order to go and find my father, I have to give up an opportunity to attack the missing-nin. And undoubtedly afterwards, they will increase their defences... maybe even move their base." she said slowly, spelling it out for herself, playing the words over her tongue for what they really were. The ramifications of this spiralling through her brain. If she did this...

"Hogo, the honour of the Jiyuujin is at irrepairable risk. You already know the level of distrust we are receiving. We cannot afford to have Meirou Jiyuujin captured with Baki and his followers. There will be another opportunity to defeat them, an opportunity that will be made more likely if we have the information your father has gathered. In the long run, this is for the greater good of our clan, and for our village."

She sighed wearily and closed her eyes for a long, long moment. Alliances were made to be in conflict with each other. But there had never been a question of whether she would do it.

* * *

**Flashback...**

He was loose again, then.

Either in bunkers or their own homes, all the sane people, the wise people of Suna, were hiding from the sandstorm, huddled against the shrieking winds and continuous, slithering hiss of sand hitting all it touched with vehemence. But it was not just the sandstorm that they hid from. Like a conduit to all that was primal in the man that exerted more control over himself that most of them could even comprehend, the storms spoke to him. The words were not beautiful. The words were all madness and dark broken pasts. Sometimes, he found it harder to not listen.

She knew that. She understood that even if he never said it.

"Hogo! Gaara is..." exclaimed Kankarou, struggling to slam the door behind him against the buffeting winds, finally getting the heavy bolt across and pulling his goggles up.

"I know Kankarou-san. I'll... I'll do what I can." she replied in a serious tone, wrapping her sandcloak tightly around her. With the sand as it was now, she would be flayed raw in minutes. Kankarou's expression was that of sheer incomprehension at her idiocy, his back still to the door, as he shook sand from off his clothing. "You'll do _what_ exactly? You think I'm asking you to go out there and deal with him? I came to tell you he's heading here..."

Hogo swallowed at the sheer vivacity of the chakra she could feel, coming closer. It was ancient and immense and very, very hateful. Kankarou stepped back from the door, mumbling under his breath about psychotic little brothers and how he hadn't intended to get killed when he woke up this morning. Both of them flinched, Kankarou even reaching an arm across her in protectiveness, as the door was literally eviscerated by sand and wind, wooden shards splintering out in all directions, one cutting open Hogo's cheek.

He was only a dark sillouhuette in the blur of sand, but there was no one else it could be. Hogo knew she was being invited out to play in the sandstorm.

"Hogo..." Kankarou's voice was a rasping whisper, as if he feared anything louder would initiate movement from Gaara, "I know you're an idiot, but you're not_that_ much of an idiot. You don't want to deal with Gaara when he's like that."

Hogo kept her gaze on where Gaara's eyes would be, knowing how unwise it was to look away from any wild animal when it had you in its sights. It could take it for fear, it could take it for weakness. It could take it for you abandoning them. This was the Gaara she remembered from childhood, the savage maniac. She wondered where all the fear and hate had gone. She couldn't even touch it. Maybe because it had been his childhood too. He had had to exist with all these uncontrollable emotions, with no one daring approach him or feel for him, even at that age.

"Well who else is going to?" she answered simply, before straightening from her defensive crouch and walking to the doorway. Kankarou let her go - he knew better than to try and stop her.

She had been out in sandstorms before. She was accustomed to the slicing pain, so inappropriate for something as soft in stillness as sand was. Writhed into action by the wind, they felt like glass shards attempting to burrow into her skin. She attempted to focus, the wind pressing against her, bearing her backwards, but she forced chakra into her feet and pressed forward. Gaara had stepped back only enough to allow her to exit, and she could see him now, although the blurs of sand occasionally interrupted her view.

Those eyes, normally so guarded, were filled with sadistic mania, his mouth twisted into a sick grin. Maybe it was the only control he had left, that he had come for her, and not someone else, someone who would not be able to deal with him. Because he irrevocably, wanted to spill blood. She felt her heart lurch in sadness at how much control he normally maintained for them all. This was her duty.

"Take those off Hogo Jiyuujin. I want to see your eyes." his voice was a sibilant hiss, though his unfocused eyes were not looking at her; they were focused on the storm, the wind slicing through his red hair, giving him cold intimacy, a painful touch but a touch nonetheless.

She complied, removing her goggles, wincing as sand instantly shot into her eyelashes, blurring her vision, the sting of grains making her eyes water profusely. She blinked through it and squinted back at him, not knowing what to expect but knowing she must endure whatever he decided to do.

"Why did you come out to me?" he growled, his breathing increasing as his apparent aggravation did. The sand whipped around him like vicious animals, fighting for supremacy, snapping at his ankles.

There was no point in lying. Even in his maddest moments, Gaara was nothing if not honest. He did not know how to lie. "I didn't want you to be alone."

These clearly weren't the words he wanted to hear. His shoulders hunched into tense confusion as he gripped his head tightly, eyes squeezed shut, the sand in an utter frenzy around him, thrashing and snaking up about his body. Alone had been the wrong word to use, and yet the only word she could use. A slow growl that only grew until it became a despair-wrought wail tore from his throat as he flung his head back, eyes wide and full of pure animalistic insanity.

The wind buffeting her did not aid her speed, but she managed to cut through it as she dodged some flailing attacks of sand, nothing near as collected or organised as when Gaara was in control of himself. These were attacks of pure rage.

"DON'T MOCK ME!" he screamed over the howling of the wind, an accompaniment to his bitter misery. She knew she should use a genjutsu to incapacitate him, but they would hardly calm his mind even if they did stop him. What good was she to him if she couldn't actually help him?

"I wouldn't lie to you Gaara. I don't want you to be alone!" she repeated, her voice a forceful shout against the vicious screams of the storm. She grunted as a flurry of sand impacted her in the chest, like having ice-cold granite shot into her, and felt another coil snake up her ankle. She was suddenly painfully conscious of being watched and didn't doubt that dozens of Sunagakura villagers were peering through their windows at the strange sight of the dark-haired girl fighting the shukaku-container. Fighting a losing battle.

Growling in her own annoyance, she removed a kunai from her pouch and slashed through the coil that bound her ankle in a crushing grip, cutting herself in the process but not caring as she focused her chakra, feeling it swelling inside her, before flipping backwards and away from further attacks. Her speed increased as her own nameless hurts began to understand his through this god-forsaken storm. No wonder he liked to wander around in this agonising sandblasting mess. It made him feel alive. No wonder he wanted to fight her like this. There was something exhiliratingly painful about the insanity around her, in front of her. She could disappear into it altogether. A part of her could even be flattered that, in his crazed state, he wanted to share this with her. Even if he would try and kill her whilst doing so. She didn't know what the storm was saying to him, but she knew the howling winds were making her find some anger and hurt that would never die because it had been born through death. Deaths that had shaped who she was.

"I think you've been alone enough Gaara. I'm going to come closer now." she said, her voice wavering over the firmness she wanted. She couldn't keep thinking about her own sadness, she needed to harden it, focus it down to spear-point sharpness so that she could aid him in his.

"DON'T COME NEAR ME!" he roared, a further wave of sand rising up and shooting towards her. She parried against it with fluid determination, dodging the next and the next, until she was slowing.

Even in his state, he was confused, as to why was she slowing down, as to why she was allowing his attacks to get progressively closer. She wasn't that tired, he knew her better than that. The next dense sand attack hit her square in the chest with all the force of a tree trunk being thrown and she grunted, forced back several steps. She breathed thinly, trying to drag air back into her lungs, before looking up at him and smiling, and moving forward again.

The next blow, more glancing as she half-dodged it, caused white-hot pain to go lancing through herthat elicited from her a shriek of pain. Her shoulder had been dislocated. Closing her mouth against the ragged whimper of agony, she savagely wrammed herself bodily into the nearest wall, forcing it back into place. She smiled weakly, barely able to see out of her streaming, red eyes, caked with sand, sweat making it cling to her face. She still knew exactly where he was.

"You're making this very difficult Gaara. What d'you think I'm going to do when I get there? Or are you hoping to kill me first?"

Gaara's eyes widened in shock as comprehension cut through the dark, mind-drugging insanity he felt. **_She wasn't going to fight him._** She would let him kill her when she could defend herself so easily if she wanted to. She wasn't going to give him the release he needed - she wouldn't let him test the boundaries of this harsh fury. But that was precisely it, she was. She just wouldn't stop him from destroying her completely.

"... Fight..." his voice was barely audible over the wind, a harsh but tremulous snarl as his entire form trembled.

She shook her head slowly, wearily, a faint smile still tracing her lips. "No."

"Fight me... FIGHT ME HOGO!" he screamed, swiping his arm up and across, sand tearing up at the motion and bearing down upon her raised head. She was still smiling, and had the fury not been over-taking him again to monumental proportions, he would have wondered if his insanity had not infected her.

"This is really going to hurt."

She was utterly flattened by the sand when it impacted with her, dropping her with lethal power and sending her scraping back across the street as though she had attempted to stand in the way of a charging bull. She was flung like a doll almost twenty feet back, and lay still.

Gaara's response was one of sheer, mute inactivity, his eyes alarmingly wide and never straying from her body. That broken body, a penflick of black in the dancing sand, cut through the frantic, chaotic misery like a knifeblade into his jugular.

If he had killed her... If he had.. _Hogo_...

Whenever he attempted to finish the thought his mind convulsed, like an instinctual gut-wrench away from it. He felt if he finished such things his control would disappear forever. He felt like he was teetering on the brink of the only despair that had ever meant anything. _Yashamaru_.

He let out a scream so heart-wrenching, so gutturally agonising, that the wind caught it up and carried it out into the storm like the sand's very own warcry. Villagers in the surrounding houses shuddered and clutched tighter together as Gaara sank to his knees, sand flying like a dervish around him. He was looking at his trembling hands in utter detached despair, muttering incomprehensibly to himself of loneliness, of pain, of wordless empty chaos that didn't belong to humans and yet lived inside him.

"...Gggaara... it's ok."

And then she sat up. Only a few inches before slumping down again, but enough for him to know she was alive. The storm continued to rage as Gaara clenched his skull, tighter, tighter, trying to rein in these sensations. _**What had he been doing?**_ The shukaku's vehemence pulsed overwhelmingly through his veins for another moment and he let his arms drop, before creating a barrier of sand to keep the storm and wind away from him, and walking towards Hogo.

The subtlest of frowns graced his face, and his eyes were hard with self-loathing as he looked down at her, trying to temper his control even over these reactions as his heart lurched. She was coughing up blood, cuts marring her arms and face, tears in her dress showing bleeding pale skin. At least one of her ribs was broken, and her right arm definitely was.

Hogo fought up, up and out through the hot swathes of pain that were urging her towards unconsciousness, and instead revelled in this feeling, this immense pain that meant she couldn't think of anything else. It was unbearable; her body would literally not move for her, and she could only take in slow, panting breaths. This was being alive. This was worth it. She managed to crack her eyes open, feeling blood and sand rasp against her skin in protest as she did so, and looked up to see the familiarly controlled Gaara staring down at her.

"Do you wish to die, that you do such things?" he said softly, his voice trembling slightly. Not much, hardly perceptible to someone who was not familiar with the tiny alterations in his expression that betrayed Gaara. It would take a long while, for him to forgive himself for this, she knew that as well as she knew the pain she was feeling right now.

It hurt to talk. Her throat was slashed to savage, burning ribbons by the sand, her tongue dry as clay. "If necessary. Do you believe me yet, when I tell you you're not alone?"

He didn't answer, though his eyes wavered for all of two seconds before he concealed it. "I want you to stay away from me when there is next a sandstorm. This won't happen again." There was steely conviction in his tone, but she let out a coughing laugh nonetheless.

"Next sandstorm I'm going to be walking right beside you. Didn't you hear what I just said baka? Not... alone..." she murmured before passing out altogether.

_I just wanted to touch_ _you. I just wanted you_ _to feel what its like to let someone hold you and know that they'll never leave. I just wanted..._

_Don't you ever get tired of fighting me? Can't I give you something more than that?_

* * *

Hinata started as the door behind her slid open, but did not need to turn to know that it was Neji who had decided to join her. Her feet swung idly over the edge of the platform, occasionally skimming over the water of the ornamental pond, her reflection shimmering with ripples. His footsteps indicated his proximity and he finally sat down beside her, and for the first time ever Hinata didn't feel at all nervous in his presence. This was her environment after all, in the nighttime, with the silver of moonlight muting everything into pale semblances of themselves. There was something so ridiculously soothing about the nighttime, its unreal quality allowing her to feel as if she were everything she desired to be. Assertive, forceful, confident. But she was unconcerned about such things in the dream-world that the night gave her access to. In any other instance, she was sure she would have found the presence of someone else invasive. Neji being there, for whatever reason, wasn't. It felt like he was meant to be here.

"It's a beautiful night, isn't it?"

Neji looked at her in faint surprise, at the serene confidence in her tone as she smiled slightly up at the sky, toes dipping into the water. He gave a vague 'hmmmph' in the affirmative and her smile increased. Neji was hardly the type to wax lyrical with her about the beauty of the night. It was for this very reason, that when she felt him inch closer, his breath a hot sensation on her shoulder that she turned at such an inconvenient moment, finding her mouth within centimetres of his. She felt his breath quicken, saw his eyes widen in surprise, and attempted to launch herself backwards away from him in nervous panic. He would think she was trying to... Oh God he would laugh at her!

He gripped hold of her opposite shoulder, his arm around her, and steadied her. He hadn't realised how much his moving would unnerve her; that was the last thing he wanted. He had been almost mesmerised by the way she looked when she wasn't uncomfortable around him, those beautiful eyes not looking away from him, her skin glowing in the moonlight. Those eyes widened even further at how he was keeping her in place and he loosened his grip, not wanting to frighten her more. At least their mouths weren't so close anymore. He had felt that renowned control of his wavering at having her that near him.

"Do you know much about the stars, Hinata-sama?" he said, trying to create a semblance of normality between them, looking up at the night sky. She balked in surprise but shook her head, agonisingly conscious of Neji's hand on her shoulder.

What passed over the next half hour was not something that Hinata had ever expected to happen. Sitting in the coolly caressing moonlight, heads close together, eyes raised heaven-ward, as Neji-nii san, gave her an astronomy lesson. With all the meticulous care that he put into battle, he traced each correlation of stars with an arch of his finger, detailing its background and mythological importance as well as their navigational merit. Even as a part of her brain found this all absurdly strange, in the twilight world where she felt most comfortable, it felt natural. It felt... like it should always be this way. She asked occasional questions which he answered swiftly but without impatience, although she had always been adept at absorbing information so it was not often necessary. Her lips twitched in a smile at how like a teacher he was being, and yet how not. His focus was very consciously on her, on imparting the knowledge he had to offer, on... giving her something. It startled her at first, the idea that he was offering a present in the only way he knew how, in his stiff, controlled way. She was also aware that it was an attempt to put her at ease at the same time, which was just as touching.

There was a pause once more when Neji had said all that he could, but Hinata was accustomed to quiet and it did little to unnerve her now that she perceived what an effort Neji was making. She couldn't even fathom it - all she had ever felt from him was cool disinterest, even after the reconciliation with the main house. But then that was the treatment she had received for years from most of the clan, upon the realisation that she was a soft weakling. Neji had simply been the only person to state it so blatantly, as he had in the Chuunin exams.

She did not hate him for it. She knew his reasons, could even comprehend why they would be so bitterly focused upon her, the useless heir when he could have become the finest leader the Hyuuga's had ever known.

Despite all that, he had given her an opportunity. The words still sang inside her head, words that no one had bothered to direct at her for years. 'Prove yourself'. Certainly she was alive now after their mission, but she did not know if that qualified as proving herself.

She had been so utterly immersed in her thoughts that it took a while for her to notice that Neji had cleared his throat in discomfort, clearly prepatory to speak once more.

"Hinata-sama... You... did very well in the mission today. I would like to congratulate you."

The words came out stilted and strained but still had the power to render Hinata speechless. All she could do for a moment or two was simply stare at his profile, his jaw set in a backlash of frigidity against his kind words, an arc of his dark hair jet black against his skin. As he tensed even further she realised how much she was adding to his embarassment by simply gawping at him. She couldn't swear to it, but she thought she saw the faint accents of a blush highlighting his cheekbones.

"Nneji-nii san... thank you.. but I really did not do much..." she stammered, finding her tongue again.

"That's not true," he interrupted, before softening his tone again, still evading her gaze whilst trying to act as if he wasn't. "You aided in placating Gaara, and performed well in battle. I was... most impressed."

What an understatement. Neji mentally cursed the social decorum that had locked up his ability to express anything bordering on enthusiasm. But perhaps it was for the best; he did not want to terrify Hinata, and he was quite sure that declaring he had not been able to stop looking at her, that she was breathtakingly beautiful in combat, would have done just that. He recalled Hogo telling him to lighten up and groaned inwardly. It was easy for her - she seemed certifiable, and her constant arguments with someone as powerful as Gaara did little to counter that.

Hinata clenched her hands together tightly as a smile split her face into sheer delight. It was all she could do to stop herself from throwing herself at Neji in a hug, but she didn't dare. It felt like someone had illuminated the nightsky for her, had filled all surroundings with warm tingling enjoyment. His words weren't much, but then she didn't need much after having received so little before.

"Thank you. Thank you... Neji."

It was the closest she dared to the hug she wished to give. After all she barely even hugged Kiba and Shino, and they were her dearest friends. Just his name - no relation to either of them as Hyuugas. As equals. She dreaded that he might think it presumptuous as he stilled altogether, his breath cutting short, before slowly turning to lock gazes with her.

"Hinata. I underestimated you. I - will not do so again."

Her eyes widened, though she could not find the strength to look away from the intense sincerity in his eyes. Praise, and the closest thing a proud man like Neji could give to an apology, in one night. And he had called her Hinata. Somewhere in the back of her brain she noted how close they were again - it would never have occurred to her one week ago, that she would be sitting this close to Neji. Feeling his breath gently wafting across her face, an accompaniment to the breeze.

"I.. prefer it when you say my name like that." she ventured in the tremulous silence, feeling his gaze shift to her mouth as she spoke, her heart lurching uncomfortably. The contours of his face softened slightly in faint amusement, his eyes not moving from her mouth.

"Hinata." he repeated, as if testing how it tasted. She smiled sweetly by way of encouragement, nodding slightly.

"Neji."

His eyes shot up to meet her again, burning with that intensity that stilled her thoughts, imprisoned her breath in her lungs.

"Hina-chan."

It was just an endearment. It was just her name. Why did it feel like they were both dancing around something much more serious than that?

"Well this looks cosy."

It took a while for the sarcastic purr to fully resonate through the stillness in Hinata's brain, but in that time Neji had already shot round and upright, a dart of precise strength and agility. His shadow cut over her vision as he stood over her, but nonetheless she recognised that voice.

"Kouki. What brings you out so late at night?" Neji said, and Hinata would have laughed at the thin veneer of civility if she hadn't been petrified by the cutting iciness beneath it.

"I was considering asking you the same thing, but I think I can imagine myself." sneered Kouki derisively, and Hinata felt the pulsing of Neji's chakra as Kouki swaggered past him, to crouch down beside her.

"I do hope your cousin isn't... bothering you, or detracting from your stay here, Hina-chan." he said, his voice dripping a sarcastic sweetness that Hinata couldn't help but be made uncomfortable by. Indignant annoyance battled inside her against both her diplomacy and her gentle nature. She despised being stuck in the middle of whatever machismo battle these two had decided upon, and she didn't even understand why she was. And such a suggestion, that Neji was the one that was bothering her... She felt her cheeks heat up as she realised how compromising it must have looked between them, if he was suggesting such things.

"Neji is doing no such thing Kouki-dono!" she protested, subliminally feeling the violent oscillations in Neji's chakra lessen slightly at her defense of him. Kouki let out a mock-tutting noise, a sly smile spreading across his face "Not that I could blame him for trying, you being such a beautiful creature.". Hinata found herself vaguely disgusted by the loose ease with which such charming words came to him - how many girls had he said them to, that he was so comfortable with them? He straightened and returned his attention to Neji, the smile hardening into playful maliciousness.

"I'm very curious, to see what that Byakugan of yours is good for, Neji-kun." he said lightly, taking a short leap backwards to create a defensive distance between them. Hinata bolted upright as Neji's grin grew equally cruel.

"Well who am I to refuse the request of my gracious host?" he replied.

"Neji..."

"Stay back Hinata." he interrupted, his voice grating and harsh. She remembered the only time she had seen him lose his cool like this. On this occasion there were no jounin to prevent him, and she was more than positive that attacking the heir of the Jiyuujin clan would be diplomatic suicide.

When she saw him initiate the byakugan, muscles bunched and prepatory to move into a stance, she moved more impulsively than she thought was possible for her, leaping round with all the inherent grace that she had honed into deadly skill. Even as he was raising his right palm she was moving underneath it, back bowed in an agile arc so that her chin didn't even graze his arm as she pivoted on her toes with a twist of her hips, rocketing herself upright once more. Now facing him her right arm easily gripped hold of his elbow, the fingers on her left hand lodged into the base of Neji's throat, rendering his attacking arm as well as the rest of him at least temporarily immobile.

Confused, his eyes finally focused on her in shock and something resembling hurt and admiration fighting for supremacy. She avoided his gaze, knowing he would instantly see how unwilling she was to actually hurt him.

"Hinata..." he said, the name filling the sudden tension in the air and making her cringe slightly.

"I'm sorry Neji but... you mustn't fight him. We are guests here, it would cause all kinds of trouble." she murmured, embarassed by the sound of her own voice. She felt like she had betrayed him, betrayed the intimacy of only a few moments before that had felt, she could not deny, more wonderful than anything she had expected.

"My, my. Looks like your little cousin needs to defend you Neji-kun. You really are a coward." taunted Kouki in a sing-song voice, and she knew that would be more than enough to set Neji off again. His eyes narrowed in fury as he let out his breath in a snarl, flipping his arm over hers so that her grip was forced loose and then physically throwing her out of the path of the fight before launching forwards.

The next few minutes were a blur of shifting shadows and the stealthy whistling of air being bulleted through before Hinata found herself encased in warmth, her arms wrapped tightly around a warm figure. She kept her eyes closed, burrowing her face in his back and clinging on as tight as she dared despite the tense muscles that still threatened violence.

"What exactly, do you think you're doing with our guests Kouki-san?" She recognised the voice to be Hogo's, and felt the unmistakeable presence of her chakra rippling ahead of her. Undoubtedly it was her who had stopped the advance of Kouki.

"What's going on out here, Hinata, Neji are you... Oh..."

At Naruto's voice she almost leapt away from the warm sanctuary of the grip she had on Neji, but the sensation of his muscles tightening even further in response to her movement stopped her. Amazement coursed through her. Did he not want her to...? Pure impulsive instinct had driven her into this position and she felt her heart do a thousand kamikaze dives of embarassment as she felt the strength of Neji's arms, the lean musculature of his stomach beneath her hands. She had her hands on his stomach... Hoping the ground would open up and swallow her, she didn't dare open her eyes, fingers shifting nervously on his torso. She felt him twitch slightly in response even beneath his shirt and decided it would be best to keep still. Maybe he would forget she was there all together if she just, kept still.

"Hogo, this is none of your business. I intend to fight this fool, so you will let go of me." His voice spoke of cool authority that Hinata knew all too well Hogo wouldn't take kindly to.

"It's all my business. I brought these people here, and I won't have you disrespecting them. For the heir to the Jiyuujins, you display a pathetic amount of decorum cousin." Hogo lightly replied, though she was undoubtedly deadly serious.

Neji had not moved this entire time, but she felt his skin prickle as Gaara's enormous chakra encroached upon the group. "We fight to protect the alliance between Konoha and Sunagakura, and yet you want to risk that to solve your petty issue with your masculinity? Go take a cold shower, Kouki Jiyuujin."

Off behind them to her left, Hinata heard Naruto begin to laugh as quietly as he could manage - which wasn't very quietly - at the brutal honesty of Gaara's comment. She heard the noisy and angry departure of Kouki and realised with spreading dread, that the keeping very still and praying Neji would forget she was there strategy, wouldn't hold up anymore. Slowly she lifted her head, resting her forehead on his shoulderblade as gently as possible.

"Please calm down, Neji..." she said quietly, not wanting to embarass him by being overheard. She felt his chest rise as he let out a long, ponderous breath, before stepping out from her arms, and walking off towards his room. Even as Naruto came over to her to ensure she was ok, the majority of her brain was telling her that she had made a big mistake in whatever issue, her and Neji had been dancing around.

* * *

I'm sooooooorrry the NejiHina stuff is going sooo slowly, but y'know how it is, she's shy like a shy thing, he's uptight like an uptight thing. There's a reason so many people write them with Neji getting drunk at some point! Anyways, RnR my loves XD! XX


	9. The Morning for Battle

Eeep. My reviews have halved. I did something bad **(turns into a Chibi screaminpsiren and cries). **Neeeeeeevermind, I still love y'all XD! This chapters a bit shorter but I wanted to have some fluffiness before we get into a Hell of a lot more angsty territory. Plus (and I hope no one decides they hate me for the randomness of it) I had the image of Hogo trying to make Gaara laugh in my head for ages and it WOULDN'T GO AWAY, so I thought I should just give into it. And I thought poor ol' Shikamaru and Temari needed some love and attention. I dunno what it is recently but I've been developing an insane desire to glomp Naruto, mostly cuz I'm not giving him enough to do in the story. **_Any suggestions of what to do to get Naruto and Rock Lee more involved are more than appreciated. _**

****

mellyd - Yay glad you liked it :D. NejiHina are just so cuddly! I'm tempted to duct tape them together and leave them in a room, they'd soon get over their shyness mwahahhaahhaaa.

Jaques Rico - I presume you prob won't be reading any more of this considering your reaction to the Hyuugacest but you reviewed anyway so kewlios; I wouldn't normally go woot for incest but Neji and Hinata have Chemistry baby!

cheh - WHOO glad you liked it, yay fav chapter! **(bounces) **Hopefully I'll be able to find a circumstance where Neji can beat Kouki up, I'm sure I'll manage it heheheheee. Still not sure what I'm doing about Hinata's hero-worshipping of Naruto so I thought having her want to leap away but then not doing it cuz Neji seemed to want her there (yum yum) kinda illustrated how torn she's feeling about things, even if she doesn't realise it herself.

blackeelamgal9 - I outdid myself, I outdid myself **(does a moronic dance) **Thankee soo much XD!

AnimeSiren - I shall endeavour to make all other chapters as good XD! Thankyooooo

Random Person - HEHEHEE, so glad someone else found the lean musculature as entertaining as me. I can just imagine Hinata thinking 'wow, Neji's got nice muscles... NOIDIDN'TJUSTTHINKTHAT' etc etc hehehee

Burn it to the Ground - Thankyooo, I was thinking about how the sandstorms might make the shukaku play up inside Gaara and how Hogo would deal with it etc. Plus I wanted them to fight again cuz I like making them fight mwahhahaaa. I'm so mean! XD

Kimahrigirl - EEEEEEE, you're saying stuff I've written is perfect! **(blushes) **I have a follower, eeeexcellent, about time! **(hands over the regulation uniform for all followers) **You get to choose the colour though XD. Thankee very much, I always think its bad when pairings just suddenly launch into the story too fast so I'm glad you like the pace!

Anyways, enjoy peoples!

* * *

"Why do you always wake me up first Temari?" yawned Shikamaru blearily, stretching expansively and scratching his fishnet-covered chest. She smirked in response, pulling the door open wider and allowing sunlight to swiftly fill the room as he shrugged on his jacket, wincing at the golden light. The woman really was shameless - he had started getting dressed right in front of her, hoping to balk some embarassment out of her but she had clearly seen it for the challenge it was and hadn't budged an inch from the doorframe, merely raising a sardonic eyebrow. Well, after she'd done THAT he could hardly show his own embarassment now could he? It was an irritating note to start the morning on, having to feign indifference when a girl as beautiful as Temari was standing watching you put your clothes on. What a troublesome woman.

"Because, in case you'd forgotten, you're team leader Shikamaru. Plus you seem to take twice as long as everyone else to be dragged into the real world."

He was shook out of his thoughts by her retort and shot her a lazy glare before attaching his weapons pouch and following her out into the early morning sunshine, travelling towards the courtyard where they had all convened the day before.

"Did you hear about the disturbance last night?"

Shikamaru's brain was instantly alert and curious "Disturbance?" he repeated, keeping pace with Temari, hands idly in his pockets. She flicked him an amused smile, eyebrow raised in challenging derision.

"Of course, you were probably fast asleep by then. Kouki and Neji nearly had an altercation - Hogo and Gaara stepped in to stop Kouki, and Hinata stopped Neji."

Shikamaru pondered this slowly and deliberately, chewing the thoughts over. "Hinata stopped Neji? I wouldn't have expected that - it's not like her to get involved in personal fights, especially one that Neji's involved in." Temari nodded her agreement but continued, "It's more than likely that she's the reason they were fighting. Apparently when Gaara arrived she was clinging on to him like her life depended on it. Neji could have easily got her off him, but didn't. And as for Kouki," Temari let out a light laugh "Let's just say he has a reputation. He's made plenty of passes at me."

Shikamaru was not surprised to feel a surge of irritation cut through him, but allowed no such thing to show through his normal laid-back indifference. "I'm surprised you didn't take him up on it. Heir to the Jiyuujin clan, he'd be quite the meal ticket." he stated dryly, giving her a baleful smile. She stopped short and gave him a long and calculating look, and Shikamaru wondered whether he'd gone too far. Granted most of their talk was teasing banter but that had been downright cutting. Well, that he could accredit to the irritation he was feeling, although Temari was hardly the one he wanted to direct it at. They continued to simply stare at each other for a while, and he was both relieved and unprepared for her to grin once more and turn and carry on walking. She was more thick-skinned than he'd thought. He tried to keep the tinge of admiration out of his gaze as he followed that long pretty back with his eyes.

"Maybe I thought I could do better than a meal ticket." she called back breezily.

He blinked and then sighed wearily, starting to follow once more. "Yes I remember, five men better than me in one street." he repeated, just about comfortably getting the rhythm of his steps once more only for her to spin on her heel and stop once more. Shikamaru wobbled slightly at the abrupt stop but otherwise retained his balance, allowing Temari's hard gaze to drill into his skull. When she took a step forward he readily reversed, hands still in his pockets, until he found his back to a wall. He gulped nervously at the irritated expression on her face but otherwise tried to retain his composure, although his inner monologue ran along the lines of - _please don't hit me with the fan, please don't hit me with the fan, bad for diplomacy, don't hit Shikamaru with the fan._

"For a smart man you really are hopelessly clueless aren't you? Haven't you got it yet?" she growled, eyes levelling his. Shikamaru then found a whole new reason to be nervous as he realised just how close they were. The part of his brain that wasn't still preoccupied with the mantra of self-preservation noted that she smelt absolutely delicious, and her mouth looked just as tempting up this close.

"Haven't I got... what?" he asked uneasily, trying to stop his gaze from straying to her mouth although the rest of him was very much enjoying her proximity. Granted it was undoubtedly proximity that meant she was going to eviscerate him with Slicing Winds, but he could enjoy it while it lasted. She rolled her gorgeous blue eyes and drummed her fingernails on the end of her fan in irritation. Much as all Shikamaru really wanted to do right now was lean forward and kiss her, get a taste of those beautiful lips, the sensible, strategic aspect of his personality realised how inadvisable it was to kiss someone who probably wanted to kill you at this point in time.

"You'll work it out, Team Leader. Maybe if we're both lucky, you'll work it out before you go back to Konoha. Cause if you don't..." At this she stepped even closer and Shikamaru had to plaster himself to the wall to keep any distance between them, her mouth so close to his, her smell. Her chest skimmed against his momentarily and he nearly hit his head against the wall to create a negotiable distance, refusing to look down at where her body was tantalising close to his. The heat of her was like a tingling sensation, a thousand fingertips across his skin, perhaps even more tormenting than if she had actually been touching him. 'Oh well, its a good way to die.' His brain thought numbly, eyes literally unable to look away from her mouth now, her hot breath tingling against his lips.

"If you don't... I'll be very, very mad at you Shikamaru."

His body was exceptionally disappointed when she put distance between them and carried on down the walkway, and his brain... Well his brain wasn't involving itself in things as he continued to glassily stare into the distance.

"Are you coming teme?"

Snapping himself out of it, he shot her another glare as he rubbed the back of his neck "You're..."

"Troublesome? I know, now let's move." she chuckled, bopping him gently on the back of the head with the end of her fan.

* * *

Hogo didn't recall ever feeling as old as she did this day. It was a day she didn't expect to survive. All the resignation, the disillusionment, that the last few days had forced into her had condensed into a hard, bleak determination, terrifying by its very lack of negotiability. Today, she would go and save her father. There had never been any question of it. Today, she would betray and lie to the friends she had created. Today, she might die. She lined up the facts with something approaching disinterest, knowing them and the pressing weight of their importance, crushing her, but knowing nothing would change them. With that knowledge of their irrevocable nature, there was no room for fear, or for doubt. There was room for remorse, but that she was not allowing herself to feel although it attempted to creep around the edges of her determination like obtrusive fog.

"The others are waiting."

She barely glanced up as Gaara entered the room, continuing to wrap bandages around her legs. "I know. Sit down, this will take a while." she said briefly, nodding towards the bed. She could sense his surprise at her request - normally she didn't ask him to do anything - and he slowly complied, his gaze on her as she methodically went about her task. She was grateful she had something to occupy her as she felt that intense stare, winding the bandages, tightening them, winding them. She had expected that he would be ignoring her after last night. That would have made it easier perhaps. Gaara would be angry with her, if she died. She had no intentions of doing anything less than fighting until her last breath was gone, but the possibility was there. She was going alone after all. She snuck a peek up at him through her eyelashes, the disarrayed red hair, those eyes that didn't miss her glance. Beautiful, damaged Gaara. She felt an almost insane cheer spread through her, and it was not the first time she had felt it. It was the feeling that always came with being swept along by the inevitable. She had no control over what would happen other than through blood and sweat and combat. Some very familiar allies, but ones that worked for the other side as well. There was no time to be afraid of anything. Not even the man she was in love with.

"Do I make you unhappy?"

She found herself in that moment of surprise, returning his gaze, the challenge in it. She didn't need to question what had inspired him to ask that question, didn't need to do anything other than answer the truth, because she couldn't lie to him.

"No." she replied truthfully "You don't make me unhappy.".

He nodded slowly, as if considering this information and storing it away in his brain. "I've seen you... With other people. You seem to smile and joke with them. I thought that I must make you unhappy." His tone was impassive, and for once Hogo could not tell if this was feigned indifference or not. Not for the first time, she wondered whether Gaara was capable of empathy, of seeing her happiness as anything other than a concept. She finished one leg and proceeded to the next, Gaara's gaze following her movements.

"Yes, I do laugh and joke around with other people. Or I did. The times that we're in make it harder for me to find things to be happy about. When I'm with you though... It seems rather childish to be fooling around all the time." she said after a while, knotting the top of the covering bandages but continuing to stare at her leg. Normally she would not have risked such honesty, such an exposure of her feelings. Such feelings felt laughable now when she stood to lose so much.

"There's nothing childish about happiness."

The determined note to his voice was enough to picque her curiousity. She wanted to ask when he had felt happy, if at all, or whether he spoke relative to what he knew from other people. More than that, she wanted to know if her happiness actually mattered to him. She felt that idiotic calm rising up in her, as though her brain and her heart wouldn't let her forget what day it was. Today... Today, she could afford to be a little stupid. As long as she was still here, and not in the desert abandoning her friends for her clan's needs, then she could indulge herself a little. She could be selfish and idiotic. A small smile spread across her face as she looked up at him once more.

"I'm glad you think that. Then you won't mind if I do something very foolish."

His eyebrows rose in questioning even as she was leaning forward and placing her hands on his ribs. "What are you doing Hogo?" he asked simply as her fingers started moving. "I'm tickling you Gaara." she replied just as simply, but with an absurdly broad grin on her face.

The look on Gaara's face was one of sheer confusion and Hogo could not help laughing as his brain clearly tried to deal with the odd response his body was giving to the fluttering motions of her fingers. A bewildered frown spread across his face as his jaw tightened and his body tensed

"I.. I don't think I like it..." he said, his voice sounding strained as she continued to tickle him, fingers scurrying over his ribs and stomach. Hogo could barely contain herself from laughing hysterically at how adorably puzzled he looked. "You look so cute when you're confused!" she giggled, earning a focused look and a frown. "Cute? I am not..." he managed to choke out before a strangled laugh came from his throat. "This... feels really strange..." he said through gritted teeth, completely non-plussed by the idea of having laughter forced out of him. But Hogo was being characteristically belligerent and he found himself laughing whether he liked it or not.

Through that ridiculous calm Hogo realised that everything would be okay now, because she had made Gaara laugh. Whatever else happened today, she had that. Seeing that expression on his face, the confusion as she gave him an entirely new experience, was worth it. Along with being in love with him, it was just one more thing to keep locked inside her as a private moment of happiness.

_You don't make me unhappy._

She found herself being tackled and pinned on the bed, Gaara frowning down at her in clear annoyance. "I told you, that I didn't like it." he said insistently, his voice a low growl. She smiled unrepetently back up at him.

"But you laughed"

"I didn't want to. You made me."

"You're sulking."

"I am not sulking."

"Are too.."

"I am... you're an idiot."

Hogo continued to giggle beneath him, determinedly stuck in the here and now, not wanting to think of what would come to pass in a few hours time. When she focused again, it was to see Gaara looking at her very intently, his palms pressed on either side of her head on the bed.

"What?"  
"You haven't told me to move." Hogo felt degrees of nervousness and tension return to her even as she evaded that devouring gaze. She wasn't about to say that she had just been contemplating retaining the memory of him laughing as steel around her resolve to return home alive. She was being selfish, she knew that and yet she could hardly pull away now without Gaara demanding answers. Keeping her voice neutral she continued to avoid looking at him.

"No. No I haven't."

"Why not?"

She cursed him a million times over for being... Well, Gaara. So belligerently curious and honest to the point of rudeness, having no interest in decorum or subtlety. With that stare still mapping every contour of her face she couldn't help but acknowledge the closeness, the heat of his hard body against hers.

"I hadn't thought to... Would you?... Please get off.. me..." the sentence trailed off into nothingness as Gaara lowered his head down to hers, stopping with scarce centimetres between them. It wasn't the proximity that had made her nervous, she was already nervous about that. It was the sudden erratic pulsing of his chakra. She recognised Gaara's chakra so well it was like background music in her conscious. Which meant that she knew what this meant all the more.

Reluctantly she dragged her gaze up to meet his, and saw what she had predicted but had still prayed she wouldn't. Pupils skittering violently across her face as he fought for control, the frown on his face one of utmost concentration, but also of confusion. His breathing was shallow as he struggled with himself, with whatever was going on inside his mind. The sinister hiss of sand dancing around them filled the room, like the death rattle of a snake. What on Earth had she done to get him so upset?

"I... I like touching you." His voice was barely above a whisper, eyes desperately latching on to her lifted gaze. She felt his right hand grip her shoulder, nails digging in lightly but enough to make her realise movement was a bad idea. She remained stock still, hardly daring to breathe, maintaining his gaze. "... Hogo... I don't want..." He couldn't seem to get his tongue around the words, his chest heaving in trembling frustration.

"... Promise me... Promise me you meant it."

When a full sentence managed to grate its way out, in so low a growl Hogo had to crane forward to hear it, she started. "That I meant what Gaara?" she ventured as quietly as possible, and even then he flinched, his grip on her shoulder tightening to crushing strength, the sand shrieking as it shot across the bed, a pit of hissing vipers, ice-cold against her cheek, her arms. It was definitely a bad idea for her to move. Her heart wouldn't stop pounding, very practical fear setting her pulses racing, as well as the fact that he was clearly broaching something that made him feel vulnerable. Vulnerable enough to begin teetering precariously on the edge of his control.

There were a few moments when that balance was stretched out into painful silence between them, Hogo merely able to watch him struggle with his feelings, blue-green eyes burning every logical thought out of her. She could feel coils of grainy sand wrapping around her ankles, her wrists, teasingly cruel, digging in and then releasing. For a man who could keep his gaze so guarded, when he was unrestrained it was overwhelming.

"...That no matter what I did, it wouldn't change a thing. That.. you wouldn't leave me alone."

She knew how hard it must be for someone with a past like Gaara's to believe words like that. It would have been hard for any shinobi, who lived on a knife edge of mistrust, Hell, it would have even been hard for anyone to place their faith in such words. She knew that even though she had shown him a thousand times, she would inevitably have to show him a thousand times more before he would fully believe her. She realised that perhaps she had been being selfish the entire time she had been saying such things to him. She had strung him out on a tightrope over unfamiliar territory, with his only assurance being that she was on the other side with this elusive offer of never allowing him to be alone again. She was expecting him to trust her when the only thing he had ever received was hate and barren loneliness. More than that, she was expecting him to trust her when they were in the middle of a war provoked entirely by a lack of trust. Her heart felt like it had stopped beating altogether. She wanted him to trust her even as she was lying to him, to defend her clan.

All she wanted to do was fling her arms around him and crush him to her, to yell that he was an idiot if he didn't know she loved him. But that was not what you did, when the man lying on top of you was at the end of his extremely delicate, but very necessary leash. He'd probably kill her without even meaning to. The very air sparked with a dangerous charge as the sand continued to rustle around them both, filling the room with dark power.

So instead she kept her gaze as sure and as steady as it could ever be. "I promise you I meant it. And I will always mean it...". The tension did not lift from Gaara's body, and his hold didn't soften. It was only that slight puff of breath leaving his body, the momentary focus of those erratic, mad eyes, that showed the effect her words had. It would undoubtedly take more than just these words, even if they were what he had wanted, to now calm him down. Moving as slowly and deliberately as was achingly possible in her position, so as not to startle him and encourage him to crush her with sand or snap her neck, she moved her hands up. Barely even a touch, she gently skimmed her hands across his shoulders, getting him used to the touch before settling them, massaging the tense muscles with dexterous fingertips.

"It's ok... It's ok Gaara." she murmured gently, moving her hands up his neck in a simple, reassuring caress, feeling him relax with painful slowness, slumping against her as if he'd been rendered unconscious. She took his full weight with some discomfort, but nothing that she couldn't deal with as she soothingly stroked his back, her only preoccupation steadying the breathing that was hot against her neck.

"This feels good..." His lips were hot against the lobe of her ear, his murmured words sending a shockwave of sensation through her. She continued attempting to massage the tension away, feeling him sink into her even more, if that were possible, nuzzling her throat and sighing quietly. She doggedly ignored her own reaction to him, the way her heart jolted awkwardly as his breath puffed against her neck.

"Is this what happiness feels like?" he purred sleepily, his soft hair tickling her cheek as he shifted slightly, slipping one arm underneath her and hooking it around her waist, giving a quiet murmur of enjoyment as she arched up against him to make room for his arm. A small part of Hogo's brain dimly noted that she had never, ever seen Gaara this relaxed. It was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. His guardedness seemed momentarily forgotten altogether as he acted like he couldn't get enough of physical affection, of touch. She felt her breath catch as he almost absentmindedly explored her jawline with kisses, breathing in her scent before giving her a sharp bite at her lack of response to his question.

"It's a type of happiness, yes."

"You can teach me all of the different types." It was a statement, not a question, a blurring of words in hot air across her skin, but then he didn't need to question any more.

"Say it again." he drawled against her neck, nipping at her earlobe while her tingling skin was aware of his hand lazily trailing circles on her stomach. Demanding, greedy. She dragged in a shuddering breath that he grunted quietly over before managing to get the words out

"I won't leave you alone"

"No matter what I do"

"No matter what you do."

Gaara was feeling quietly delerious, mentally lost in a fog of sweet disbelief. He was touching her, he was lying on top of her, he was drowning in her warmth and her scent and her skin, and she was LETTING him. No matter what he did, she.. she would... The words seemed so incomprehensible and yet they made his chest ache and his senses ripple with awareness. He couldn't get enough of hearing it. He raked his nails slowly across her waist, hearing her breathing start, a gesture of possessiveness.

"Hey Hogo-chan, we've beenAGHEOOAHHHHHH!"

Naruto was getting very tired of walking in on compromising situations. Last night when he'd heard the beginnings of a skirmish, and had come out to see Hinata plastered to Neji's back, had been bad enough. Now he had the image of Gaara straddling Hogo on her bed permanently imbedded on his eyelids. Maybe he should have knocked first.

"AGH, Ahehehhee ummm, I'll be just outside, sorry! Sorry sorry!" he exclaimed loudly, keeping his eyes firmly clamped shut and waving wildly by way of apology, reversing only to smack into the doorframe and give another yelp of surprise. Upon his entrance Gaara and Hogo had sprung apart, sand hissing violently to life again and spiralling around the bed as Naruto made his exit.

"It's fine Naruto. We're just coming." Gaara said smoothly and Hogo glanced up at his tone, his control and coolness firmly back in place. He didn't even glance at her as he climbed off the bed, but she didn't need him to. She realised that she didn't need words or looks anymore. She had seen a part of Gaara that no one else had, and it was entirely hers.

* * *

**(grins nervously) **Hehehe, I know it's a silly little chapter, but I couldn't get the idea out of my brain. Hope you liked it anyway, ANGST NEXT TIME! RnR XD XXXXX 


	10. Enemies

**(Forward rolls into the room, shutting the door on numerous pitchforks and screaming people) **Hellooo people, I am sooooo sorry it's taken me ages to write this but I've had birthday celebrations and a profuse number of relatives to deal with XD. Plus I wouldn't want to give you a below-standard chapter now would I? **(Prays upcoming Chapter is not below standard) **But yes I will be quiet so you can enjoy the ANGST of it all! Thanks as ever for the reviews, your all lummy scrummy for my tummy... don't worry that doesn't mean I'm going to eat you... I think... :S Anyways, enjoy!

* * *

_Heart tied up in a latticework of guilt... no, not guilt, no time for guilt, with tension, with preparation. Yes. The sand is hot and gold and the sun burns white, bleeding even through my lowered eyelids, and I know exactly where they each are, Naruto a blinding orange blur, Hinata before me, Neji behind me, Gaara... Gaara._

Her mind was working at the acutely attentive level of battle, everything made of concise sharp lines, facts to be processed, emotions cut down to raw stumps of feeling because they could not be acknowledged. Neji was coolly ignoring Hinata, his eyes were grim and distracted, he was lost in thoughts. Those normally evaluating and clever eyes were turned inward - it was all for the better. In turn Hinata was upset at this dismissal, not paying attention. They were the greatest concern, their Byakugan the greatest problem. Naruto, for all his fighting skill, would be completely blinkered to any genjutsu she performed. At Neji's whistle she came to a graceful stop, feet pressing into the sand, the adrenaline tingling as she noted the movements of all of them around her with bristling precision.

"This is where they attacked us last. If we can find some indication of their whereabouts from here..." The rest of Neji's words trailed off into the back of Hogo's mind as she began scanning the monotonous desert with her gaze, looking for ripples of residual chakra, remnants of their hiding places. She paced forward with her eyes still intent on the smooth ground, dropping into a crouch every now and then to perceive anything. Sand was hardly the most useful in finding clues, the high winds no doubt having taken the top surface of sand several miles elsewhere already. Her hands were a smooth, perfunctory blur as she initiated the seal, closing her eyes and thrusting a sizeable swell of chakra into the jutsu, concentrating its details down to needle-tip precision.

"There doesn't seem to be..." she began, leaping off into the desert in skirting runs. As she left, she heard her counterpart complete the sentence for her.

"... anything across this way."

She did not dare glance back. Not because she thought they may not be fooled by the genjutsu, she had enough faith in her own abilities to know she could hold them for at least a few hours. Images, unbidden, ripped out through her calculating, battle-clad mind, things she dreaded from the mouths and in the faces of these people who she trusted and loved and was betraying. They were images that made the bindings around her heart tighten like garrotte wire.

Naruto, his open, friendly face slackened with disbelief and righteous anger.

Neji and Shikamaru, Temari and Kankarou, eyes dark with distrust and venom appropriate for a traitor.

Poor sweet little Hinata, Rock Lee, and Kiba, unconcealed hurt emanating from them, a fear all they had grown to like was a lie.

Gaara.

Just imagining what he would look like, what he would say, if or when they met again, made her feel as though her lungs had been ripped from her body. She came to an abrupt halt, buckling down to one knee on the hot grainy floor, clutching her stomach and breathing heavily, swallowing down the urge to let out a guttural sob.

She had wanted to protect him from being hurt, she did not want to be yet another person to damage him. She would have given anything to have had him never suffer AT ALL, and maybe that was what all her ridiculous self-sacrificing acts were. She thought back without recoiling at all the occasions when she had been reduced to a broken shell to be carried off by the medical-nins, of the cold indifference she was used to receiving but had still hurt her. She wondered if it was possible for him to burn out all of his rage on something, and why she was so willing for it to be her. A wryly amused smile formed around her mouth, and she realised that tears had fallen even though she had tried to stop them, the salt taste on her lips.

Quite simply because she knew she was strong enough to take it. He could attempt to destroy her, shred her to pieces, and she would remain quite absurdly undefeated. She knew she possessed enough strength, not just in her ability, but in who she was, to withstand the rage of his past. Whether she could be strong enough to endure his hate, a response he might readily give to her abandonment, she did not know.

Swiping a forearm across her eyes she straightened, and continued out across the plains of desert.

* * *

Kiba hit the desert floor with a pronounced thump, scraping his elongated nails into the sand to stop his slide, teeth gritted in irritation. Akamaru snuffled beside him uncertainly, made anxious by his master's mood. Shikamaru dropped alongside him and cast him a wary gaze before scanning the the desert around them. "Why so tense? You said you had the scent." he asked, very much aware when Temari landed alongside him. After this morning he was finding it even harder than normal to feign indifference. Especially when her hip nudged against his gently, as it was doing now. He shot her an impatient look in response to the lurch in his throat, and simply received a raised eyebrow and a smoky gaze in response.

"I'm not tense, I'm confused!" snarled Kiba, straightening and lifting his nose to the wind, sniffing delicately. "I recognise the scent."

"From yesterday?" asked Lee, absentmindedly stroking Akamaru as he in turn looked out over the terrain, possibly hoping to glare the scent into visibility so he could help.

"Nope, I smelt it before that and since then. I've smelt it... I've..." Kiba's voice trailed off as he shot off after the scent again.

"Hours of fun this is." said Kankurou dryly, leaping up and after him as the others did. As they flew across the desert in darting motions Kiba's frown narrowed. He had smelt this scent on the Jiyuujin estate, in the air, on the furnishings. One of the Jiyuujins, had to be the spy.

* * *

Something was wrong. Gaara could tell by the way the pit of his stomach hurt, the way the air felt stilted and too close. He was aware of the seeming tension between Neji and Hinata, but he could and had been ignoring that. It was something else altogether. He kept his eyes trained on Hogo's back, brooding his thoughts through. The disturbance manifested from her, something subtly but acutely off about her. He did not think he was alone in realising it, the silence of the group (save for Naruto's excitable chatter) was thick with unease.

"Haven't we covered this bit of terrain before Hogo?" he inquired coldly, seeing her turn and flash him a slight smile "Nope Gaara, we haven't been here yet today." she replied before facing forward again. His frown deepened as his unease tightened in a vicious knot in his belly. Neji shared a look with him that spoke more words than they had ever exchanged, asking questions, raising suspicions. Gaara answered them with a narrowing of his eyes and by the set of his expression.

"It certainly looks familiar." said Neji, coming to a halt as the rest of the group did. Hogo stood slightly before them, shoulders set and tense. In almost the exact same tone, with the exact same smile, she turned back "Nope, I'm pretty sure we haven't been here yet." she replied cheerily.

"I say you're lying." Gaara responded, his tone hard but icily cold. Naruto looked at him uneasily (as Hogo had guessed he would be) totally unaware of the situation. "Hhey... guys, what's this all about?" he asked, looking from one to the other as Hogo slowly turned and stared Gaara down.

"Do you want to fight me, Hogo?" he drawled, his eyes devoid of anything but the desire for violence. Neji visibly tensed as Hogo lowered her head demurely "Of course not, Gaara." she said sweetly. Even Naruto balked in confusion at the sheer unlikeliness of this response. Hogo had never backed down for a second. Letting out a growl of frustration, Neji initiated his Byakugan, his fears confirmed.

"It's a genjutsu." he said darkly, before raising one hand "Release!"

Naruto let out a yelp of surprise and backed up as the Hogo in front of him shattered like a mirror with a vibrant jolt of chakra. All around him the desert blurred and smeared before reassembling. "What the Hell...?" he murmured, looking about him in confusion as the others scanned their surroundings.

"Looks like we're at the spot where we were last attacked. We must have been here the entire time, trapped in the genjutsu." said Neji, his eyes angry.

"AND I DIDN'T NOTICE?" yelled Naruto, clearly mortified at his lack of attentiveness. The others, normally more than willing to cater to the blond's melodrama, ignored him altogether as they considered this new turn of events.

"What does this mean?" Hinata asked, eyes showing her distress. Neji shot her a cool glance, one quickly softened when he saw how upset she seemed to be, though he retained his aggressive demeanour, not turning to face her "It could mean a number of things. It could mean she is allied with the traitors. It could mean she knows the whereabouts of the traitors and has ventured out on her own to attempt to save our skins, although that strikes me as unlikely - she doesn't see any of us as incompetent..."

"I don't care." Gaara's voice cut through Neji's with innate savagery. Neji tensed, barely perceptibly, and turned to face his irrational teammate. He was relieved that he looked more in control of himself than he had feared, considering the last time Hogo had done something to upset him. Nonetheless, his entire body was trembling with barely contained emotion. "I don't care about her reasons. We're going after her."

Despite himself, Neji felt his ire rise. Of all the calculations and considerations he had made with regard to this mission, Hogo had never equated in them as anything other than a positive factor. This was the last problem he had considered having to deal with. Gaara's personal involvement did not aid matters. Personal. He almost sneered at the word even within the rigid confines of his self-control. Personal was the entire problem why he had not been focusing, had not immediately noticed Hogo's genjutsu. Embarassment, red-hot, and swiftly accompanied by anger, hit his senses as he recalled what a fool he had been acting like with Hinata. He wanted her - he could concede that much, albeit reluctantly, virulently, in the privacy of his own brain. But what did it matter if he did? The aching gap between Head and Branch House, for a while forgotten, seemingly shrunk, was now hideously wide to him once more. She was so far away from him, even last night when his mouth had been inches from hers, she was made out of alabaster and glass, and he was not permitted to touch. His very mind screamed against it even as the rest of him wanted it. She was everything that was forbidden, and he felt a hot rush of something that almost resembled his previous hate of her curdle his heart as he considered how disgusted she would be if she knew what he felt. Even he was horrified by this turgid mess of confusion and desire, hate and hope that he had safely hidden in his cool exterior.

"Oh are we Gaara? If you recall, I'm the leader of this team." he replied acicidally, expression pure cool arrogance. He felt air whistle around him as sand rippled under his feet, Gaara's chakra pulsing. The pale shinobi had his head low, eyes fixed to the floor.

"I don't care. I don't need any of you to help me. Get out of my way or I'll get rid of you first." whilst he was still containing himself, his voice chilling, there was the slightest tremor, of fury or just pure madness Neji did not know. There was no mistaking that, in that moment, he would have no problems carrying out this threat.

"Now wait just a minute guys, this is stupid!" yelled Naruto, stepping in between the stare down that Neji and Gaara were having. "Hogo is our friend! And... Ok I don't know much about genjutsu's, but that was a powerful one right? That means she's used up some of her chakra!"

"Naruto-kun's right." Hinata added softly, "Hogo could have used a far simpler jutsu that would have rendered us all unconscious or incapacitated us. Instead she used a complicated illusion that uses up far more chakra than she would have needed to. It seems like she didn't want to hurt us at all if it could be helped."

Naruto looked horrified at this "Then that means she's our friend, and she's run off to fight the missing-nin alone without her full chakra capacity!"

"It doesn't mean anything like that. It merely means that she might have become... attached... to us whilst acting as a spy." Neji countered crisply, keeping his eyes on Gaara, watching him flinch brutally at the word 'spy'.

"Neji-teme, don't talk like that! Do you honestly think she's like that?" Naruto snarled, turning on his team leader. Neji's eyes lazily skipped to Naruto's, before returning to Gaara.

"Why don't you ask him?"

Naruto faltered for only a moment before walking forward and recklessly standing within Gaara's - albeit very large, but certainly very necessary - personal space, fists clenched.

"Oi, Gaara, you don't believe it do you? You know Hogo better than any of us."

His eyes shot up to meet his, flashing with murderous conviction "Why are we still talking? Whether it's to kill her or to save her, I'm going to get her." With these words Gaara took off to the right, leaping out in to the hot sunshine. Neji rolled his eyes as Naruto instantly followed, leaving him and Hinata alone in the desert. He did not look back and acknowledge her, knowing he would regret it, and was hoping they could continue without him having to do so.

"N..Neji-nii-san..."

Clearly this hope was unfounded. His eyes flickered, unbidden off to his left but he brought them back ahead with rigorous determination. "I suppose we should follow those two. We need to assess why Hogo left if nothing else." he said in clipped, professional tones, moving to step forward only to find Hinata's soft hand clasping his wrist. Preventing himself from simply flinging her off and running into the desert, to be as far away from those pale eyes as possible, he turned and fixed her with his most hard and intimidating stare. She flinched slightly but did not look away, gnawing her bottom lip "Neji-nii-san... are you angry with me?"

He considered this for a moment, not relinquishing his vicious expression. Yes, he was angry with her. But nowhere near as angry as he was with himself.

"No, I'm not angry with you." he said, flipping her hand off his wrist easily. Her face creased in upset and he had to grit his teeth against the urge to wrap his arms around her. "You just seem so..."

"Cold?" he interrupted, raising a sarcastic eyebrow.

"Yes. After last night." "We don't have time for this." he spat, turning to go once more.

"Neji, I just want us to be close!" she blurted out, seemingly instantly regretting it as she huddled her chin down, hunching her shoulders. He desperately tried to ignore the way his heart was abruptly slamming into his chest. She wanted them to be... He sneered at how easily his brain leapt on hope. Of course Hinata wanted to be close. Sweet, tender little Hinata didn't want any enemies. She wanted everyone to be her friend.

"How close?" he purred nastily, seeing her blush crimson, knowing he was taking his own bitterness and desire out on her but in that moment unable to help it. She did not reply, simply staring at the floor, fingers nervously twiddling in front of her. He had not seen her do that, her compulsive gesture of unease, for months.

"It's not a possibility." he said finally, feeling the flat misery that came with the truth of these words. "Why not?" There was frustration in her voice not, annoyance at how dogmatic he was being.

"We are in the middle of a mission Hinata-sama. Now is not the time to discuss this." he said, putting as much disdainful force into the honorific as he could. She blanched slightly and lowered her head; clearly it was more than successful.

"Of course Neji-nii san."

Her voice sounded... empty, and it was his fault. He gritted his teeth against this feeling, and shot off into the desert, Hinata following close behind. He initiated his Byakugan and saw, several miles ahead of them, a wave of sand close to twenty foot high, travelling after the two figures of Gaara and Naruto. Clearly Gaara was not as calm as he had seemed to be.

* * *

The rocky incline was not simply that, any more than the innocuous boulders scattered around it were safe and untampered with. It took a full ten minutes for Hogo to disengage the thirteen tags concealed amidst them to prevent trespass. They were considerably difficult seals, but then the missing-nin knew that only other ninjas would be looking for them. It was hardly likely they were going to take risks. Despite herself Hogo admired their tenacity - the cavern was practically unnoticeable from nearly every possible angle, and those where it would have been seen had been treated to all the cloaking ability that a shinobi was privy to. If she had not known for a fact that the camp was here, she might have breezed her gaze across the area and continued on.

As it was, she found herself darting into the black mouth of the cave, silently skittering up the moist, ice-cold walls and fixing herself to the ceiling with chakra. It was best to continue in this fashion, giving her a vantage point as well as at least some partial concealment. As she continued into the thick black, soon even the murky vestiges of daylight were cut off and she was completely blind, relying on her other senses for guidance. She blinked repeatedly, urging her eyes to become accustomed to the black even as she knew it was pointless. Where there was no light, there was nothing for her eyes to adjust to. Nothing but the quiet dripping of water trickling down the cavern walls accompanied her thoughts as she continued forward in a crouch against the ceiling, prepatory for attack or defense, muscles bunched. Soon the pounding of her heart became genuinely audible to her in this tangible, hostile silence that made the blackness wider, more hideous. Her movements were cautious, slow, because she did not know where the jagged ceiling might alter, or incline upwards, or even disappear altogether.

Initially she doubted it, thought that it was her eyes playing tricks on her as they well might in this total darkness, but progressively light began to thread into the inkiness, giving it texture and shadow once more. Pressing herself into the ceiling even further, resorting to a crawl, she inched forwards. Options swiftly collected in her brain as she ventured towards the light. She could create a diversion using the exploding tags she had set up outside, causing the majority of the missing-nin to head out and see what the problem was. She had been hoping to use them as a cover for when she escaped, but they might prove to be more effective now. Of course after that she would have the problem of finding her father before the nin re-entered, and the doubled levels of security after the diversion. In any instance, the longer she spent looking for her father, the more likely they were to find her. She needed to get in and out as speedily as possible.

The guard had been on duty for three hours. He knew the tedious caveway, with its flickering shadows and slippery, crag-filled rocks, like he knew his own face. Aware and attentive, he was prepared for any event within the surrounding thirty feet of him, and would have been able to detect the arrival of another ninja within seconds.

So he could not help asking himself why the shadows were dimming to glossy, soothing smudges of dark, why the floor seemed so inviting, his body so heavy. He felt something light and cool, gently perfumed, touch his cheek and swayed slightly in sleepy languor as he lifted his head. And he was definitely not sure why there were cherry blossoms raining down opon him...

The guard hit the floor with a resounding thud and Hogo likewise silently landed alongside him, rolling him over to check that the genjutsu had indeed rendered him entirely unconscious. Scanning his face she allowed herself a small smile of relief. She recognised him, a Jounin from Sunagakura. That would make the next part, a great deal more easy.

* * *

"No. Oh, no."

The entire group ground to a halt at these words, spoken with such bleak, horrified disbelief. Shikamaru stepped alongside Kankurou and followed his frozen gaze. Akamaru made a whining noise of fear, leaping up and burrowing into Kiba's coat. Kiba barely acknowledged this as he swallowed convulsively, daring to flash a glance at the others. Temari looked utterly petrified, clenching her arms across herself protectively, an expression like a trapped child on her face, whilst Lee looked grim and disturbed. "What the Hell is that?" Shikamaru finally asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

The wave of sand had grown even taller as Gaara had travelled across the desert. Now it was close to thirty feet high, and even from this substantial distance it emitted a dull roar, a thousand voices caught up in wind and chaos and screaming to be set free. "Gaara. What the Hell happened to set him off like that?" demanded Kankurou, still unable to drag anything other than quiet fear into his voice. "Whatever it was we can't leave him racing around the desert like that. He might hurt someone." said Rock Lee, straightening once more, his eyes trained on the distant wave.

Temari gave him one look before grabbing him hard around the shoulders and shaking him. "Are you completely INSANE? Can you see that wave? Can you FEEL that chakra? He'll kill you before you get within a mile of him!" she shrieked, her voice progressively becoming hysterical until Shikamaru physically dragged her away from Lee, holding her arms tightly to her sides. She calmed slightly upon feeling his vice-like grip pinning her still, and looked up to see a slight frown on his face. Shikamaru had never seen her lose her cool like that and it was, quite frankly, unnerving. But then she knew better than most how terrifying Gaara could be.

"Neji, what happened to Gaara?"

Shikamaru looked up to see the arrival of Neji and Hinata, dropping down beside them with their eyes likewise trained on the wave ahead of them. Neji went to stand next to Lee and glanced at him before replying "He's following Hogo. Naruto is with him." At the mention of Hogo the entire group's collective attention went to Neji, thrumming with unease, Kiba in particularly shifting tensely. "Hogo? What did she do that would make him..." began Kankurou, starting forward only to be stopped by Neji's scathing look. "She took off. Disappeared on her own after tricking us all with a genjutsu."

"She tricked the Byakugan?" said Lee, looking sceptical. Neji clenched his teeth and tightly responded "I was distracted."

The way in which he said it made Lee realise it was probably foolish to ask as to why - likewise Hinata's blush did not encourage him to. Naruto had taken great enjoyment in regailing him with the clinch he had found them in and Rock Lee was hardly going to start asking for intimate details of his rival's personal life. "What you're suggesting... is..." Kankurou looked stunned for the second time in as many as five minutes, looking from Neji's dark expression to Temari as if for confirmation. Temari's response was to shake her head vehemently, blond hair flipping round in a vicious blur to the degree that Shikamaru tightened his grip on her again in case she sprang at Neji. "No. I don't believe there is any chance that Hogo is the spy. What you're saying is..."

"I haven't said anything YET. But other options seem rather few and far between." snarled Neji, his cool demeanour buckling slightly under the stunned, uncertain reactions of his comrades. "That's not entirely true." ventured Kiba nervously, pulling a face and scratching his neck nervously when Neji's cool look greeted him, as well as the anxious expressions of the others. "What can you tell us Kiba?" prompted Shikamaru even as Lee was rocketing forward to bounce down beside Kiba. "YES! Anything that is of aid to our comrade is essential!" he declared, Kiba jumping nearly a foot in the air in surprise

"Don't do that baka! Jeez!" he snapped exasperatedly before running his hands through his hair in frustration. "I didn't want to tell any of you until I'd confirmed who it definitely was, but I guess now... The scent is a Jiyuujin, without a doubt." he said finally.

"That hardly illustrates Hogo's innocence." Neji said frostily only for Kiba to shake his head. "I think I know Hogo's scent by now Hyuuga. This isn't her. Who it is though, out of the Jiyuujin's we've met, I couldn't tell you. Their home is saturated in all of their scents." He allowed this to settle in whilst shuffling from one foot to the other, hoping that Shikamaru would come up with a plan before Gaara ripped Hogo to pieces. There was a long pause when they were all clearly thinking before Shikamaru looked up thoughtfully, addressing Neji. "Does Gaara know where he's going?"

Neji shook his head. "We never saw Hogo leave. Gaara just headed out into the desert." Shikamaru nodded slowly, taking this in before glancing back at Kiba "And you still have the scent?" Kiba grinned eagerly, straightening "So strong it's like this guy never takes a bath." he confirmed. Shikamaru sighed wearily before separating himself from Temari "Then it looks like we're going after Hogo. If the spy is another Jiyuujin, that changes the entire scope of things for her. She was probably trying to keep things in the family and us out of the way, but we can't expect her to take care of this on her own."

"What about Gaara? What if he starts heading back towards Sunagakura, who knows what he'd do right now?"

"That's the one place he knows Hogo won't be heading - he won't be going back that way. In the mean time, let's hope we can get to the missing-nin camp before Hogo does something stupid. And before Gaara finds her."

* * *

Hogo attempted to keep her gaze focused and prayed that she did not belie her disguise as she swiftly scanned the large cavern she had found herself in. Her step was measured and with purpose, when in truth she had no idea in what direction she was intending to go. The cavern was approximately half a mile across and teaming with missing-nin scattered in groups, sparring, sharpening kunai and otherwise milling around. Various tents peppared the area, providing sleeping areas as well as privacy for the ninjas higher in the chain of command. As Hogo weaved her way through, none of them gave her so much as a second glance and she retained her composure with steelly conviction. It was an unusual feeling, wearing the mantle of another person's body, their way of moving. It was similar to viewing the world from behind the confines of a hood and cloak, she felt partially obscured at yet painfully conscious that she was still visible. She only hoped that combining the henge with a genjutsu would make it more authentic, would smooth over any imperfections in the way she mimicked the guard's movements and mannerisms. It was inevitable that soon she would be questioned as to why she had left her post, but she was hoping that if she continued at a fast pace...

"Oi, Renji! Renji, hey, where the Hell are you going?"

She span smoothly as a bald man covered in tattoos came up alongside her. She mentally cursed as she noted that he was not a shinobi she recognised - someone from the Stone village. "Why the Hell are you away from your post? Kuroami will have your guts!" the man exclaimed, but his tone was friendly. He and Renji had clearly been on amiable terms.

"Relax man, I'm changing over." Hogo replied in Renji's deep tones, giving the bald ninja a hefty slap on the shoulder. He instantly tensed, regarding her closely "The replacement guard is meant to come to you." he said slowly, eyes narrowing. Hogo did not allow herself to miss a beat as she laughed and raised her - or more precisely Renji's - large hands in exasperation.

"Try telling him that, I'm looking for the bastard. Do me a favour will you, try and keep Kuroami off my ass while I find him."

The shinobi's eyes searched his face suspiciously for a moment, considering things before seemingly being satisfied and nodding. "Sure thing buddy. Just hurry up." Hogo let out a long slow breath as she swaggered away, feeling the eyes burning into her back but remaining studiously casual. Turning off past a tent, away from that considering gaze, she continued back across the periphery of the left side of the cavern, scanning desperately for side passages, places where prisoners might be kept.

"Hogo-chan."

Before she could even begin to turn at her name, to tense or consider her next action, she found herself being rocketed sideways, her vision blurring red as her head met a wall. A strong body followed her, wramming her physically back and forcing the breath from her lungs. Gagging for air she instinctually dropped to the floor and swung a low sweeping kick, hearing the responding counter and pivoting on her standing foot and one hand to swing her other foot over and round in a turning axe kick. She cursed as the kick was caught and flipped back and up the wall, bringing her knee forward into her attacker's stomach with rib-cracking force. She let out a strangled choking noise as she found her throat trapped, finally focusing her eyes up into this man's. Recognition shot through her as the man grimly tightened his hold, but not to a crushing grip. "...Jun..." she gasped out, and his eyes narrowed to vicious slits. "What are you doing here Hogo-chan?" he hissed, tightening his hold just enough to make her swallow hard and pitch her body up against him, trying to throw him off. He remained solidly in place, out-matching her by about two feet and 70 odd pounds of pure muscle. Despite that, she knew she must have broken at least ONE of his ribs. He wasn't made out of iron after all.

Jun was a childhood friend, a nosy kid who she had found climbing over the walls of the Jiyuujin estate to see what it was like. They had become, and remained, firm friends, had passed the Chuunin exams together, and had remained close even when they had been assigned to different teams.

Maybe it was for all these reasons that she was still alive, or maybe similarly they were the only reason he was alive. They continued to stare each other down, before she finally broke the silence. "I'm here for my father." He let out a grunt of frustration, not releasing his grip on her throat but stepping back from her slightly, glancing about them in apparent wariness. Hogo noticed that in their struggle they had ended up in a thin but long pathway spidering off away from the main cavern. It progressively dawned on her that Jun's first seeming attack had been to get her into this passageway, away from the other nin. That surely meant that he did not want to expose her. "You really expect me to believe that you're just here for your father? That you don't intend to destroy our operations? You're the one that brought the Konoha ninja here, like some kind of traitor..."

"I'm not the one situated out in the middle of nowhere waiting to attack my own village Jun! Don't you dare accuse me of being the traitor!" She snarled savagely, pressing forward to stare him down despite his grip on her throat.

"I'm trying to do what's best for Sunagakura." he hissed, looming over her with his eyes burning in the shadows. "And so am I!" she fumed in response, forehead almost touching his as she stood up on tiptoe to scowl at her friend. They remained that way for a moment or two before he slowly released his grip on her throat, although his expression did not change. Wearily she let out a sigh and scrubbed a hand over her eyes. She would not insult him by trying to change his mind about what he believed in.

"My father is a good man Jun-kun." she said quietly, not missing the way his eyes wavered before he looked away. There was a tense pause. "He is one of the finest." he conceded gruffly, kicking at the dirt floor with one foot. "Don't mistake me Jun. I would gladly stop all that Baki and you idiotic followers intend to do. If I could I would finish this for Suna myself, today. This camp would be burnt out before the sun went down. But I can't. My only intention here is to save my father. When I am gone you can run to Baki yourself and have the entire camp moved, hidden once more. I don't ask for where you're going, what it is you intend to do. Just give me the time I need to get to my father and out again."

The silence stretched as Jun shifted from one foot to the other, jaw set as he pondered the shadows. Finally he turned to look at her once more. A thousand words of what their friendship was, despite being enemies now, were in his eyes.

"I pray I don't meet you in battle Hogo-chan."

She smiled tightly "Likewise Jun-kun."

He placed a heavy hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently. "... Very well. I'll take you to him. After that I can do nothing more for you."

* * *

YEEEEP, that's it for now, hope you enjoyed it ppls! RnR! XD XXX 


	11. Damaged Faith

TADAAA! I have returned, do not hate me! I have been trying v. hard with this chapter, I kept getting unhappy with bits and redoing them. There are ickle vignettes of violence (ooh so many v's) before one of the full-out battles that is coming up. People must lemme know anything they don't like/do like so I can keep it up XD. But yeeeeees..

AnimeSiren - Yep, he's having a mighty ol' hissy at her teeheee. Thankee, I thought I couldn't forget what a cold fish Neji was, so it made sense to moi XD.

Cheh - Heeeheee now I have an image of Hinata chasing after Neji with a net to 'get her man' mwahahhaaa. He's a lil too preoccupied with standing methinks. Oh well, I'll sort him (**evil cackles)** Hogo is just gonna have to run very very fast away from Gaara lol.

Blackeelamgal9 - Yays! XD Nice to know I'm worth the wait, I'll try not to disappoint!

Nic'Sim87 - See your review scared me, cuz either you're saying 'Oh shit, what's gonna happen now' Or you're saying 'Oh shit, this is shit'. If it's the second uhhhh, live with it? If it's the first, noooow you shall know!

Iheartchopsticks - MORE! Here it is! XD Can't tell you whats gonna happen to Hogo, that'd spoil everything! **(bounces off laughing)**

Linny-shindou - Wow, I'm soo flattered! Thanks so much, hope I don't let the side down **(hides just in case)**

Drake-Azathoth - Hehehee I'm always glad to learn my writing makes people want to hit the characters XD. A good effect I feel! Yeh I didn't think Neji would just throw himself into something, he's a little too uptight and cautious for that. Glad you're liking it.

Outlawpoet - So long as I'm doing them both well I'm a happy bunny, so thanks for letting me know! Writing complex characters is fun even if I do mess up from time to time hehe.

Lissy - Yays, glad you like the developments! That's exactly why I love Gaara, he's such a messed up lil deadly fruitcake! Great fun to write hehe. Hope you continue to enjoy.

Kiramysticmoonkitsune - Thankee kindly, hope you like the next offering XD.

Enjoy, and NO throwing of household implements if you don't!

_

* * *

_

_This is the pathway to where my life ends. Dark and twitching with nervous shadows, each step gives me further distance from a life that will never be mine again. With each step I nail my coffin shut as I watch Jun's back, and follow him to my father. Nothing will ever be the same - I may reverse but it will change nothing. So I can only go forward. The choice might have seemed mine, but it was never so. He is my father. He is my father, and so I shall forsake every other thing I love for him, and for our clan._

He was caged in, like an animal. But of course he was, he was a deadly enemy. The manacles that held his arms and ankles were wrapped in explosive tags, the complex codes seething with quiet power. Even though his head was hooded in a dark cloth sack, he looked up at their approaching footsteps. Hogo had never seen his broad shoulder slumped in such defeat. He was on his knees. Her father, on his knees, trussed up, broken and bleeding. She knew she should be grateful he was alive. She was lucky they had not killed him when he had not revealed how much information he had given to Sunagakure, torturing him in the hope of his submission. Knowing such things didn't mean anything. It required all of her willpower not to blow the doors open, exploding tags and keys be damned. Jun silently disengaged the tags, unlocking each of the heavy bolts with a slow, respectful pace, glancing guiltily at her as she continued to stare at her father, unblinking. As she moved to enter the cage Jun gently gripped her upper arm, stalling her.

"Hogo, I..." he began, unable to meet her fiercely unwavering gaze. Painfully he dragged his eyes up to meet hers "I'm sorry... I wish you luck." With that he turned and left, his step slow and weary.

Meirou Jiyuujin remained utterly still as his daughter walked slowly towards him, not even lifting his head as her shadow cast over him for several minutes. He let out a soft sigh, barely an escaping of breath, and she felt her heart squeeze tight inside her

"Hogo. I hoped you'd never see me like this."

A dark, indescribable feeling was bubbling up inside Hogo's chest, thick and dark and cloying. It left no room for words as she struggled to breathe around it, a sob threatening to erupt from the confines of her stomach. Saying nothing, she slowly gripped the edge of the sack over her father's head, dragging it down with the motion of her hand, material slipping and bunching. She saw him visibly tense "Hogo..." he began warningly, a catching whisper, as the sack fell from his mussed head entirely. It dropped to the floor unnoticed as Hogo made a gagging noise, something between a whimper and choked scream.

Hogo had her mother's eyes. It was a painful reminder, for both her and her father, of what was gone, brought to life every day in the way she moved, spoke and smiled, just like her. But she was not her, had never been capable of the degree of sweetness and softness that was nonetheless wrapped around a core of pure steel. It was this soft nature that she knew her father had fallen in love with, this quiet calm. And Hogo knew that it was the wisdom and strength of character that her mother had seen in her father's eyes, that had made her love him. She stared at the black sockets, gore thick and clotted red staining cheeks that were white and pale. Black red and white. Black red and white. Her father. The warrior. Meirou... Jiyuujin... her father.

Her consciousness hid in the back of her mind where nothing mattered and nothing could hurt her, where her father would always protect her, as she stared at where his eyes should be. She could hear the blood screaming in her temples as her stomach became taut and empty, her vision dancing in mad circles. Now she knew why his shoulders were slumped in defeat. Now she knew why he wreaked of humiliation and frustrated anger. Suddenly she couldn't bare to look any longer at the bleeding mess they'd left behind and jacknifed forward, vomiting in spasmodic fits until her stomach ached and there was nothing left to offer up to the dirt floor of the cage. The world span as she wiped her mouth, tasted the bitter acidity of her vomit, swaying slightly in her bent over position. Her head throbbed and she knew what it was to feel utterly helpless and worthless.

"Are you all right?"

His words brought her back to herself with such hideous clarity she was almost sick all over again. The man who had had his eyes ripped out, was asking if_she_ was allright. He was not the only one who wished she had never seen him like this, and her guts twisted in total abject misery. He was a strong man who had been able to throw her around like she weighed nothing when she was a child, he had moved with stealthy, deadly speed, he carried himself like a warrior. He was he was he _was_, past tenses.

She gave a garbled murmur that could barely be considered a yes or a no, and he sighed quietly. "I should have guessed you'd come. Even as a little girl I couldn't get you to do what you were told." There was weary humour in his words, although without the bright animation of his eyes Hogo could not detect his expression. Her heart swelled and her face twisted in an attempt to hold back tears. Had she thought she would be allowed a sweet reunion with her father? Had she thought it would all go well? "Now you're a fine Shinobi in your own right. An idiot, but who other than an idiot would fight through an enemy camp just to save a half dead old man?"

Kneeling down she gripped his upper arms tightly, shaking him, ignoring the disrespect that this was "You're not half dead and you're not old. And I'm not leaving without you." He finally lifted his head slightly, and Hogo clenched her teeth around her tongue and did not look away from the holes that bored into her, sightless but focused. Despite his words that she was a shinobi just as he was now, she could barely restrain herself from lowering her gaze. A pointless action of respect now.

"How is Gaara?" he asked calmly, gently probing. Such a question meant a thousand things, and they both knew that.

She released her father's arms and went about the back of him, busying her hands, beginning to release the tags that constrained him. "That doesn't matter right now." she gritted meticulously, allowing each word to slip out of her mouth with brittle precision. "It always matters. Hogo..." he began, pausing when the air positively reverbrated with the tension that was rife in her body. There was a gentle thud as her knees met the floor behind him, and she clenched his shoulder tightly, resting her forehead on his shoulderblade and gritting her teeth until her jaw ached. To save face before her father she tried with every inch of her to turn this agonising misery into anger.

"It.. can't always matter because I've betrayed him in coming for you. And he will hate me, and he will probably try and kill me, and he will more than likely succeed. Because I love him. Him. I know what that means, I know you probably hate me for it, I know what he did but... But it's ok, 'cause I'm going to save you. Ok? I'm... going to... save you..." the words burbled out until they barely became audible as she let out a ragged sob, her nails digging into his shoulder while she viciously tried to get a hold of herself. Meirou did not move, not that he would have been able to, his head lowered as she began to calm herself. Wiping her eyes she bowed her head even if he could not see it, and continued her ministrations with the tags. There was a long silence before he finally spoke.

"I'm not surprised daughter." Her hands stilled momentarily but she tentatively continued, waiting for him to carry on with his words.

"You do not think of yourself as like your mother, but you are both mine and her child. Through blood and smoke and years of screams pitching in my ears I became hot and hard and vicious, but not your mother. Through it all she was as coolly calm as water, and as impossible to damage as water. She could not be embittered or broken by seeing how dark it could get on the edge of kindness and humane nature. Gladly I would have had it if you could have retained her calm also, but you are, and always have been, my shadow in far more ways than you could be hers. She's simply the blurrings of love and childhood to you - you cannot remember the years in which she raised you. Perhaps it is due to my upbringing that you inherited my strength of will, and her big heart. The things you have seen would have eroded away that gentle side of you if you were any less of a person. You fight tooth and claw, for what you love. Whether its foolish to do so or otherwise. And it seems you've given your love where it's best needed. Just as I thought you would."

Hogo's hands stopped altogether. "... You thought from the beginning that I would...?"

He nodded his head in concession "It has a kind of perverse poetry to it, don't you think? He took my wife from me. It stands only to reason that he should take my daughter also. The method might be different, but it's the same effect."

* * *

The group was spread out in an impromptu fan across the desert. Shikamaru had, much to the surprise of them all, essentially said that tactics could go to Hell. They could worry about that when they got to their location. At the moment, speed was paramount.

"What if it's true though?"

Temari gave her brother a long hard stare, not pausing in her relentless pace.

"I don't intend to listen to what you're saying Kankurou.."

"Just shut up for a minute would you? Hogo means a lot to me too. That doesn't change anything. You_know_ it doesn't change anything. If it's her father who's the spy, we can't rely on her."

"We don't know that for sure."

"We don't know a lot of things for sure. She already... Christ Temari, she already left Gaara! I never thought I'd see the day when she did that. We don't have a clue whose side she's on anymore."

"You didn't before." Rock Lee's interruption gave Kankurou pause, turning to look at the green-clad shinobi racing alongside them. He shot him a fierce look, full of conviction. "It might feel like everythings changed Kankurou-san, Temari-san. But nothing has. We never knew for sure that Hogo was on our side. We just had faith that she was. And we need to keep that faith; trust her."

The piercing whistle that cut through the air caught all of their attention.

"We're not far now! Shit they're in that gorge, I should have guessed!" Kiba snarled vehemently. Shikamaru waved his hand by way of a signal, and the group's speed increased further, fixed upon their target.

* * *

The ninja's expression was a melding of fury and total shock, his jaw slack as blood dripped from his lips. Hogo wrenched her kunai out from its slanted trajectory into his throat from his collarbone. Further blood spurted out in an arching gout as she freed the weapon, splattering across her dress. It reminded her of a thousand other deaths, a thousand other cutting out of lives she had committed and witnessed as she wiped some from her eyes, its sticky heat clinging desperately to her skin. Breathing fast but evenly, she checked her father was still behind her. He had insisted upon her wrapping a cloth around his eye sockets and was now focusing intently on the ground where the ninja's body slumped, head inclined slightly forward to hear the contact. He nodded, smiling grimly. "No less from my daughter."

He stepped forward warily, the newly blind searching for reassurance and she took his hand, placing it on her shoulder as she carried on forwards through the tortuously twisting tunnel, praying she had recalled the directions accurately. They had only met three shinobi so far and she had managed to silence all of them as swiftly as possible, though one had got unnervingly close to her vulnerable father. A gash in his arm testified to the ninja's attack, but also to Meirou's skill. Hogo had launched herself forward to intercept but had arrived too late. The cut intended to rip Meirou's belly open did not get the opportunity to do so as he pivoted with agile precision, one hand gripping his attacker's head in a vice-like grip. It was a brutal technique that the entire clan was privy to - the ability to cut blood off to either the brain or heart with a forceful assertion of chakra. The man died instantly.

Further light filtered through the thin murkiness as they approached the main cavern. Hogo pressed herself tightly to the wall, Meirou swiftly following suit. Even as her face remained calm and her heartbeat steady, Hogo found herself frantically thinking out her options. There were more missing-nin out there than she could handle on her own unless she intended to kill herself doing so, and that would not guarantee her father's safety. She could not battle to her best capacity whilst wanting to protect her father, and whether he was a genius or otherwise he could not fight now. Now was the time to be strategic, clever. She felt Meirou's breath on her shoulder as he leant forward, his whisper low as a tremor 'What are you thinking Hogo?'.

Squeezing the hand that was still on her shoulder, she momentarily admired the rough power of her father's fingers, the callous sovereigns of his warrior nature. Her hands were no better. Eyes that glowed with predatory power in the light flickered back to him and her breath trembled as it escaped her lips, forming the hand signals. She could feel him tense, the accumulation of her chakra to her singing through the air.

"How fast can you run father? I'll guide you."

The brush of material touched her face as the sound of silky material slithering sharply caught her ears, and she turned once more to the sight of Meirou removing the bandage from what remained of his eyes, only to tie one end about his wrist, the other her elbow. "We will run. You will not sacrifice yourself for me. You will not bleed out your last moments for me. If I leave, so do you. Did you suppose, my child, I would allow you to give yourself in exchange for me?" The knot was tight and made her blood surge in her adrenaline-soaked muscles, and she was rendered speechless in the face of his words. Through what he knew she had intended to do, through what he would never allow her to do for him. Her hands wavered on the last hand signal, trembling with power, nerves and everything that made her decisions. He leant his face close and those gored eye sockets did not frighten her because that animation, that strength from a face that had seen all manner of horror, was her fathers. He was not broken, he was not defeated. How could she have ever supposed he was?

"The pact of love is reciprocal, daughter. I will defend you until my last breath, as you would for me. Those you defend may never need the protection, but that is what love is."

_Father, Meirou Jiyuujin, warrior and Lone Wolf of the clan of killers. Savage and powerful and tender as the rain from a storm. Murderer and mentor in one breath because they are the same for us, they will ever be intermingled. You gave me the charge of loving in the guise of protection, because they become the same, for what are we, killers born that we have always been, if not in love with the person we would protect above all else?_

His strong hands gripped her neck tightly and drew her forward, shaking her determinedly "There are others, that you must protect. Remember him." An ache like burning vacancy inside her stomach hit her and ridiculous laughter bubbled up in her throat. The words came out in a rush, barely more than a sob as they met the silence around them.

"I made him laugh father. I think.. I made him happy."

* * *

Kuroami stalked forward with his face set in a vicious snarl, progressively being flanked by more of the men that had been stationed under him, though they sensibly kept their distance. He barked out a message to the first behind him and they all fell back and waited for him as he entered Baki's tent.

Baki looked up from the map he and his guest were perusing, an eyebrow raised in vague irritation at the interruption. Kuroami dipped his head low as he spoke, jaw tense "Forgiveness Baki-sama. I just found the guard of the front-entrance unconscious. Whilst he is breathing and displays no wound we've been unable to rouse him so I have not been able to question him. We don't know how many ninja have entered the camp." Baki's cold unreadable eyes shot to his guest, flashing black.

"What do you know of this?"

"Nothing. As far as I knew the teams were continuing their examination of maps and scanning of the desert. Unless..."

"Unless what?" gritted Baki meticulously through his teeth, straightening and towering over the man before him. His guest merely quirked an eyebrow in wry amusement before continuing.

"Ryoushin Jiyuujin requested Hogo's presence late last night. Perhaps they intend to come and retrieve Meirou."

Baki slowly absorbed this information, those passionless eyes narrowed in thought as he leant back against the impromptu desk that had been created for him. Something bordering on humor but devoid of any corresponding softening twitched his mouth. "The loyalty of your clan is really quite adorable, Jiyuujin."

The young man gave a disdainful sniff, "Some of us more than others."

As Kuroami exited the tent he paused, his skin prickling with sharp wariness. Tension hit the circuitry of his veins like an itchy fire as he shot a cursory glance around him, and his tension spread in a wave as all those around him instantly began to pay attention, gathering their senses into order. A few unsheathed weapons and dropped into fighting stances even as his eyes narrowed into a frown. The closest he could equate it to was a sound, the quiet murmuring of a distant sea's thrashings in a high wind. The adrenaline that sparked the air as the camp progressively silenced, even the most introspective feeling it now, filled the cavern to bursting with imminent violence.

It hit first across the cavern to his right, the shrill screams of panic echoing across the crags of the cave as shinobi threw themselves out of the way of... of what? Kuroami growled and strained his eyes, concentrating and yet nonetheless seeing nothing in the gap that was causing people to go bulleting off in whatever direction they could. Chakra as dense and controlled as compressed hot air spun through this invisible centre, and those who did not have time or the sense to move from whatever it was they saw were split open, blood spraying as their throats and stomachs were unzipped. Closer, closer... For a second he caught the dim outline of two figures running through the centre, shrouds of barely perceptible colour, and then it hit him, the vision that had sent the others flying back.

"It's a genju..." he began only to hear his voice muffled out by the shrieking cacophany of the winds that fought in the tornado before him, and all his followers leapt away screaming as the sheer power attempted to suck them in.

* * *

Hogo's skin was slick with sweat as she continued to sprint with her father beside her, hearing the distant screams of fear transform into ones of fury as her genjutsu was comprehended. It had been difficult, and risky, relying on both her speed and the receptive nature of the ninjas around her. She had not thought for a second that she could hold them all in the genjutsu, and had instead been forced to manipulate the illusionary technique so that it surrounded herself instead of them, anyone within a certain distance seeing nothing but a tornado of terrifying proportions. Those who seemed less affected she had dispatched in a flurry of blood, slicing them open as she flew past. The intention was not to fight, merely to get to the exit safely.

"Are you allright Hogo?" her father called, hearing the quiet pants that ripped from her throat in between breaths. A grin spread unbidden across her face as she shook her head, feet pounding across the rock surfaces beneath them like a drumbeat, forcing them to a faster pace. Nothing got past him.

"I'm fine. But I think we might need to speed up." she wheezed, her vision momentarily blurring. Yes. It had been very difficult concentrating her chakra that much. But she could still run, and if necessary she could still fight.

As if to test this assertion, she saw in the mouth of the cave a sillouhuette of a figure, standing in her path. "Father... I'm going to cut the bandage. Wait until I call you." she said harshly, not pausing in the speed of her run as she unsheathed a kunai, slicing the material that bound them with one clean strike. Launching herself up and forward at a blinding speed, she swept her leg round in a sharp turnkick, aimed at the figure's head.

Naturally, she was very much surprised when her leg was caught, and she was unceremoniously thrown into a wall, almost swallowing her own tongue as her neck whiplashed into the rock, her spine roaring with pain. She hit the floor with an equally pronounced thud, legs caving under her as her vision swam yet again. Wincing and clutching the back of her neck, she looked up at her attacker. Not many people could keep up with her speed, and she let out a weary sigh as she gave a half-smile, tonguing her lower lip and tasting blood.

"Neji..." she breathed, resigned by the icily vicious expression on his face.

"Hogo. We have some questions we'd like to ask you." he murmured, shards of contempt and disdain lancing every word. She saw her former allies thronged around the entrance of the cave, watching her with varying expressions of unease, betrayal and wariness. Pain that had nothing to do with injuries gripped her heart and she dragged herself up the wall, face twisted into tired flippancy. She mastered the sadness at all they thought she was, for there was no time. Let them hate her, but they could not be here when the missing-nin erupted from that cave like vengeful demons. Let them chase her through the desert forever, so long as they weren't here getting massacred.

"I'm afraid I don't really have time for that Neji. Maybe you could catch me at a better time..."

"We know the spy is a Jiyuujin Hogo." said Kankurou severely, eyes hard with regret. And whatever remaining tattered threads of a plan that Hogo had, were burnt into smoke and ash with these words. _What had she been doing all of this for?_ The entire group saw her eyes widen, her body stiffen, and none could mistake it for guilt. This was not what they had expected.

"...What?" she choked out, just that effort seeming to deprive her of whatever air she had left in her lungs. "You didn't know?" Shikamaru said, stepping forward and examining her face with his intelligent eyes, finding nothing there but pure despair.

"Hogo...?"

Each of them instinctually withdrew a weapon, Kankurou flexing his chakra strings, Temari reaching for her fan, as a shadow tentatively stepped out of the deep dark of the cavern. First a hand became visible from that smooth immaculate black, a silky stretch of material stained with blood rippling in the manipulative wind, tied to its wrist. A face that should have been handsome followed it, caked with dirt and dried blood, made alien by the absence of eyes. Hinata let out a gasp and backed up into Kiba's protective arms and Kankurou visibly blanched even beneath his make up, instantly dropping his hands to his sides.

"Meirou-sama..." he breathed, taking a step forward whilst not even knowing what he intended to do. Hogo stretched out a flailing hand and clung to her father's hand, drawing him close to her, looking for all the world like a little girl, terrified and pale. She was breathing heavily, fighting back tears as she clung tightly to her father's chest. "Does... this..." she seethed in between breaths, eyes wet and hot with animal panic "look like... a spy?" Even Neji's icy eyes faltered and he looked away, shame washing through him. He had attempted to reserve judgement and had still not been able to prevent suspicion from taking over.

Meirou, tall and regal even now, held his daughter tightly and nodded solemnly in their direction. "Kankurou-san. Temari-san. Friends of Hogo. I understand your fears, but I am not the spy. You are correct when you say it is a Jiyuujin, I can testify to that much. It was under their word that my reconaissance was discovered and... this, was done to me. It's Shiro-kun."

Hogo straightened as if her brain had been restarted by livewires, her tear-stung eyes now wide with sharp conviction. It took the others even longer to react, for some even a while to recall who Shiro was.

Shiro. Quiet, unassuming, studious, damn-near _invisible_ Shiro Jiyuujin. Second son to Ryoushin.

A dull roar of chakra presence, familiar in all its adrenaline-soaked deadliness, emitted from the cavern behind them, accompanied by the pounding of dozens of running feet.

"The time for questions is later." stated Meirou firmly, separating his daughter from him and addressing the others.

"First we deal with this problem as best as we can. It took a lot for Hogo to turn her back on you for me. Since she does not give her love foolishly I know you all to be formidible shinobi. I hope you can prove this to me now."

Hinata's fear was bolted down into bottom of her stomach as quiet awe filled her. Hogo had not lied - Meirou's presence was astounding, his words making her soul sing with pride. On Shikamaru's nod, they all leapt back, skirting the outside hollowed area to give each other room. It was not long before jet black blurs erupted from the cavern like a wave of violence, and all sound was lost to the aching speed of battle.

* * *

_You were not loved._

Sabaku No Gaara's heart hurt. He would have preferred a real wound because he knew they could heal. Lies had sugar-coated the wound for him once before and he had burnt that sugar-coating away, eaten it alive. The wound had burnt hard and hot but at least it was true, at least it was honest. But she had sworn. She had sworn, she had promised she had said...

She had said nothing. Yashamaru had lied, veneer of love and civility, sweetness and affection. Barren hate was at the core. Had she lied? Did Hogo lie to him? Did Hogo... betray him?

He could hear someone screaming his name but it didn't seem to matter much.

Did Hogo use that beautiful mouth to lie to him? Of course. Of course of course she did because who wouldn't want to run from the monster? She had never.. she had never promised that she would... All these concepts he had seen and watched and never felt for himself. Promises, what was a promise worth? So many windows he had looked into, homes, lives, families he had witnessed where promises and love and happiness meant something. They were just numb words to him, and they should remain that way. He should not allow them to be plucked out of the air and given animation by someone who was loyal but not loyal, she was not loyal because she had left him, she had left...

She had left him alone.

_You were not loved._

* * *

EEEEP! Hope you liked it, sorry Gaara was hardly in it but you'll get more of him next time XD. XXXXXXX


	12. What Should not be Said

Writing fan fics is better than revising, and is certainly going to be good for my prospects in later life. Yessums it is XD. I was gonna be a meanie and not offer up this chapter for a while, y'know, TORTURE you all a lil, but then I was so chuffed that I'd actually got round how the Hell I was going to deal with it that I just had to share teehee.

cheh - Mwahahhaa y'see I'm sneaky like that, I tried to make Shiro as 'Who the Hell is he?'ish as possible so noooone would suspect him. Not much of Hinata and Neji kicking butt in this chapter but I shall give them ample opportunity soon enough tehee

Kiramysticmoonkitsune - **(throws a chapter on to your lap) **TADAAA!

Kan Ne - Gaara's such a tortured soul, I must stop tormenting him! But not any time soon, (**laughs like a maniac)**

AnimeSiren - Oh yes oh yes oh yes. Ordered; One Crazy-ass Gaara. Here he comes!

xbakatare - yays thankee, glad you like it XD

kimahrigirl - EEEEE, I never let people down **(ego puffs up several notches) **Yeah I heard he's in the new movie, MUST SEE IT!

iheartchopsticks - I like your dedication, it makes me feel googly! Thankee kindly.

Gacktlover14 - WHOO go me **(victory dances before forcing Hogo and Gaara to boogie. Gaara does not look happy) **Whoops :S

i'manobody - HURRAY someone else who has work to do that they're avoiding! I give you Gaara-shaped distraction!

LinnyShindou - No flames for me, no flames for me **(victory dances once again - gets a very annoyed look from Gaara and decides to not get him to join in) **

Enjoy!

* * *

There was an irrevocable moment, a second of transition, that all shinobi knew as well as their own names - the transition from flesh to meat. Human life to a dead carcass. It was known so poignantly because it was unclear where, amidst the limbs countering and blood spilling, it fit in. Perhaps the instance before death, or simply the very second it was decided by the shinobi, that they intended to kill their opponent. 

Man to meat. Person to nothingness. Maybe it was only possible to know when it happened to you - when there was no doubt that your identity and life was nothing in the face of the vulnerability of your body.

As it was, the Konoha and loyal Sand Shinobi had resorted to the only sensible strategy when so horrendously outnumbered, and had scattered like an explosion out across the desert, being trailed speedily by their enemies. The sun was ebbing and lit the world in burnt orange and crushing red as they fought, plundering the corners of their strength and hate to make it out alive. Actual thought became a luxury as whiplash instinct predominated, only a visceral awareness saving Kankurou from spearing Kiba with Karasu as their backs met in a moment of pause in the ceaseless blur of violence.

"Shikamaru and Temari went East. D'you have a plan puppet man?" gasped Kiba, heat radiating off his body as Kankurou flung Karasu in the direction of some shinobi's who swiftly evaded him.

"I've always favoured the old-fashioned staying alive plan. Lee and Neji are next to Hogo and her father. If we can maintain distance, and try to regroup..."

The two were not given an opportunity for further conversation as a wind technique sliced the air towards them, forcing them to start running once more.

* * *

Meirou Jiyuujin was astonishing. He was attuning himself to the fight without his eyes, blade's cutting air as he span and dodged, face set in vivid concentration. 

"Your friends seem scared Hogo." he murmured, sensing his daughter for all her veiled chakra. She would not travel far from him.

"Konoha is not like Suna father. They've never had to..." she began, letting out a savage shriek as she ripped a blade up through a missing-nin's belly to his ribs. Meirou sighed quietly to himself, the rustle of movement beneath him causing him to grip his daughter's sleeve and launch himself into the air. Seconds later a shinobi vaulted out of the sand where they had stood, and they remained suspended in mid-air as Hogo began initiating a hand seal.

"It's not the way a girl should become a woman."

"Through death? I wouldn't have it any other way." Hogo snarled grimly.

* * *

Hinata strained as absolute panic tore through the determination of battle that wrapped her mind. She couldn't move, not her feet, her neck, her fingers. A small whimper of frustration puffed from her mouth, evaporating into silence as a second shinobi shot forward while the first maintained the binding jutsu. His kunai gleamed in the light like a glowing retribution and she had not thought she was going to die, like this, with her heart in her mouth and so many questions unanswered. Even as he became close enough that she could see the pupils of his eyes, alien to her in all their cruelty, she continued to fight with all her mind screaming, muscles balling in their attempt to move. 

"Koganemushi no Shinsuu!"

It didn't matter to Hinata why the two of them were flailing back with frenzied movements, hysteria in their eyes as they hacked at their own flesh with weapons until they bled out, still shrieking even in their last moments. Hogo's back was tense before her, her hair wet with sweat, hands clenched into shards of aggression. "Sorry Hinata. We almost didn't make it in time." she muttered, crouching before zipping off at a monumental speed to her right. _We?_

"Jyuukenhou, Hakke Rokujyuu Hanshyou!"

_Oh_. The shinobi dropped like a boneless creature to the floor after making a single hacking noise, and Hinata hazarded a glance back at her cousin. The byakugan gave his eyes all the heat and strength that had been missing in his coldness towards her as he met her glance. "What's wrong? You can do better than this!" he snapped, ducking and parrying a few swiping attacks, flipping some distance from her in order to evade a katon technique.

"Fight Hinata! You don't have time to be afraid, just fight!" he roared, and Hinata's breath caught in her throat.

Neji never yelled. He even looked surprised himself for a minute and their eyes met again. Through years of restraint and diffidence she could still see an element of pleading in those proud eyes. You told me you didn't want my protection. Then defend yourself, so I don't have to.

The Byakugan's field of vision served her well as she pivoted on one foot, dipping low under the advance of an energy release aimed for her throat, and slammed her palm home into the attacking shinobi's chest. She winced as she recalled with vivid clarity being on the receiving end of such a technique, blood spurting from his mouth before he fell to the floor. She stared down at him for a moment, numb, before she felt the heat of Neji's shoulder pressing against hers. He was breathing heavily, those all-seeing eyes scanning around them as he gripped her wrist, prepatory to run. More were closing in on them now. "That was good. Now just keep doing that."

"Nnneji..."

"DON'T think about it. Just do it." he interrupted. Blood and fear all around them, and his heart still had time to lurch as she tightly held his hand in hers. As they began to sprint off into the expanse of desert, he could hear blearily the rumbling sound of immense power, back the way they had come.

* * *

The sound of war had nothing against the shrieking noisiness that was Konoha's number One Loudest Ninja. But it wasn't that which Hogo heard first. Rather, first she felt it, familiar in all it's primal insanity and hate. It was enormous, so overwhelming and consuming that she felt she was being crushed, ripped piece by piece by its very presence. Shinobi ran for their lives around her, flying off into the bleeding sunset as her ears registered the wailing, hissing noises pitched so fiercely it almost made her stomach tremble. The air was positively dense with charged, hideously murderous chakra as she forced herself to turn around. A wet blanket of power numbed her senses to anything but that feeling. It was only then that she managed to decipher Naruto from the screams and roars that manifested the chakra. 

"HOGO! RUN! GET AWAY HOGO! HE'LL KILL YOU!"

Up, up, up the wall of sand she looked, so alive and writhing, seething like a collection of serpents. It was still about forty feet away, and even now it was taking all she had not to recoil from that black madness. She would trip in and she would fall and she would never come out again. She would become another of the voices in that mass of screams. Her world condensed down to one point, to one figure riding the crest of that wave, his face taut with anguish and fury. All else withered and died as she focused in on him, drawn in by blinding chaos and panic. Despair was rolling off him like a scent, rank and disturbing. He looked so small relative to the enormous power he was mastering at a subconscious level, his eyes wide and staring, every single lean muscle wound up to impossible tightness. He was terrified and furious and he wanted to kill her. She couldn't hear it against the sound of the sand rumbling, but she could see his clenched teeth murmuring frantically over words, a mantra to rein himself in by. It didn't even occur to her to try and move. Why would it? Tendrils of sand, thick as the tentacles of some kind of sea monster, rippled out towards her, dozens of them erupting from the wave of sand and descending upon her motionless head.

Hogo almost laughed at the absurdity of the only thought she could muster into her head; _I missed you. _His eyes met her eyes and her mouth opened around a silent sob, heart impaling itself on her own ribs. Even after all the blood she had shed, the death she had meted out. After it all, here was where she had done the most damage.

Then her vision was obstructed as powerful arms held her fast and she was moving up, up and backwards in one vaulting leap. Stunned into obescience, she looked up at her father's dead eyes as he set her on the ground, turning back to face the approaching Gaara.

Gaara. He was struggling, Hogo could tell, the sand was becoming more erratic, splintering off in clumps and falling lifeless to the desert floor whilst other pieces twitched madly. His chest was heaving as his eyes locked with Meirou, a savage growl reaching them over the hiss of the sand. He was taking in Meirou's condition without a change of expression, perhaps some vestige of him that remained sane trying to see how this fit into the scheme of things, because he was not attacking. He let out a groan of frustration, buckling slightly and clutching one hand to his stomach as if he'd been dealt a blow and Hogo just wanted to run over to him, even if he killed her for doing so, but her father's arm held her fast.

"Why... Hogo... HOGO." he seethed, his voice gaining in volume at her name, the only logical thing he could latch on to, a focus for all this fury and hurt.

"She's right here Gaara-sama. But I will not allow you to do anything... foolish which we will both regret." Meirou's voice was as cool and powerfully understated as a nighttime breeze, in the face of Gaara's savage power. He didn't hear these words, simply shaking his head fitfully, eyes returned to Hogo and seemingly unable to see anything else.

"You... After all this... after all... you're just like... just.. like..." he seemed to be nearly hyperventilating over the words, throat clamping around the name that Hogo knew he meant and her heart bled as tears clung unbidden to her eyelashes. She didn't even realise she was shaking her head until the tears spilt free and her hair brushed her cheeks, a fibrous whiplash to her sweat-soaked skin. "I'm not. I'm not, I promise Gaara..." she stuttered out.

"YOU PROMISED BEFORE! And it.. it _hurts_ Hogo! It hurts SO MUCH!" he screamed, his face child-like with confused pain, but there was nothing child-like about the fury emanating from his chakra as sand shrieked up into full form again, rising up over his head.

"Control yourself Gaara-sama! Hogo left you to save me, not to hurt you." Meirou rose his voice over the renewed sound of the sand. Gaara's gaze was steady now, burning with an insane conviction, and Hogo remained paralysed under his eyes, unable to do anything other than stare at what she had done to him. She did not consider herself stupid enough to think this was truly about her. It was about someone giving him a promise like that, and breaking it. For that reason, his next words shook her to the foundations of her ability to cope.

"You could have taken me with you. You could have let me PROTECT you!" he growled loudly, descending into a scream, sand lashing about them erratically, mindlessly violent. She stared at him in mute disbelief, mouth open "How could I? I'm meant to protect _you_!" she said, her voice breaking. She couldn't bear this.

"I won't let it happen, I won't, you left me, you left me and you could have died. You take too many chances and you're not strong enough..."

"I'm not strong enough!" Hogo retorted, the fire coiling up from her guts and for a moment lighting up her despair with anger. His gaze sobered momentarily and a grin fought its way through the tension of his features, tight and weary "I'll kill you before I let you leave me again."

He had not calmed down. He had not relaxed or started to feel better and he had meant every word he said. But they remained that way, gazes locked in a mutual agreement on which neither really knew the sentiments the other had pressed. Meirou stepped back briskly and leant down to murmur in Hogo's ear, "Hogo. The enemy is regrouping.".

"He's right, they're heading our way again. They probably want to capture Gaara." Kiba landed beside them speedily, Naruto not far behind. At the back of Hogo's mind she was amazed that either of them had been so strategic as to stay out of her and Gaara's discussion. She nodded slowly, not taking her eyes from Gaara. She knew he would not appreciate it right now. The sand had not simmered down in the slightest even if he was looking more collected, his chest still heaving but his eyes focusing more, a frown of concentration crossing his face. "Kiba, Naruto. Take my father with you and try and escape. Gaara and I will travel South to try and attract their attention, if it is him they're truly after. What happened to the others?"

"Gone. They scattered when the numbers were too many.".

Hogo smiled grimly "It's for the best." Finally she detached her eyes from the shinobi before her, turning to the others. "I only hope I'll see you all soon."

Naruto nodded determinedly, flashing her an enormous grin. "Don't worry Hogo-chan, we'll take care of your old man!" Meirou said nothing to being casually called 'old man' although his eyebrows puckered slightly in either amusement or irritation, Hogo wasn't sure. Then there was a blur and they were departing. And her and Gaara were alone once more.

* * *

"Why the Hell are we hiding Shikamaru! What kind of a man are you?" 

"Baka, just shut up would you? We're in open terrain, miles from Suna, with some annoyed-as-Hell shinobi after us. We'd be slaughtered in seconds. And DON'T question my masculinity every two seconds!"

Shikamaru was not happy. He had been separated from his team, something that he would definitely consider a failing as a team captain, and it was beginning to get dark. As if this was not in itself a bad situation, he was stuck with the one person from his team that he was quite achingly uncomfortable around. Add to this the fact that the only hiding place they could find was some prickly shrubbery which they had been forced to lie in, and that the desert was rapidly cooling to icy temperatures, and he didn't think it unreasonable that his temper was on the verge of snapping. Temari had lapsed in to a sullen silence which, whilst he knew it would undoubtedly cause him Hell in the long run, he was momentarily grateful for. Utter quiet descended as he marvelled at just how still the desert was, the sun having faded and leaving them nothing but empty darkness. He could barely make out the gleam of Temari's eyes off to his left. She currently had her head rested on her arms, laid flat out on her stomach as she chewed her bottom lip in thought. Much as she would undoubtedly rather die than say it, she looked worried.

"In the morning we can head back to Suna. The others are probably doing exactly the same thing, none of them are stupid." he managed awkwardly, trying to sound reassuring. She blinked and nodded slowly "I guess. I just wish I knew Gaara and Hogo were okay. Neither of them are exactly... sensible... when it comes to the other." Shikamaru kept his gaze on her for a bit longer, then continued to look up at the night sky that was progressively becoming peppared with brilliantly bright stars.

"They're both strong. But of course you know that. They're quite the pair." He felt the intensity of a gaze on him and turned his head back in Temari's direction, quirking an eyebrow in surprise at the expression he could dimly see in the dark. She looked practically predatory in that moment, eyes lidded and devouring in their devotion to chartering every inch of his face. He blinked and frowned slightly, squinting through the darkness and seeing her expression was totally normal. Now he was imagining things, fabulous. She was nonetheless, staring at him. "What?" he said after a few moment's silence, feeling his cheeks flush slightly in embarassment. He was actually grateful for the darkness now.

"What d'you mean what? You were looking at me as if I'd grown an extra head." she replied, sounding mildly annoyed. He snorted in amusement, settling his hands under his neck as a feeble pillow and continuing to stare up at the nightsky. "Now that would be a sight. Two of you having a go at me." he murmured idly, yawning and stretching.

"Now that just sounds like a guilty conscience. Why d'you think I'd need to have a go at you?" she retorted, shuffling forward slightly. Shikamaru felt his skin prickle with awareness but determinedly didn't look to his left where she was. Likewise he decided to forego mentioning that he thought she would have the need to have a go at him because that was what she _did_, and simply shrugged. "I messed up again. You probably reckon I've left your brothers and the rest of my team to be butchered, and that I'm acting like a coward again." Although the words were said in as off-hand a fashion as he could manage, his jet eyes slowly counting the stars by way of distraction, he felt his throat tighten in self-disgust. When hands fisted into his fishnet top and forceably yanked him over onto his side he blinked in surprise, finding his face inches from Temari's, glowering with determination. He nervously tried to backpedal on the palms of his hands but she was having none of it, hooking her fists more securely into his clothes and shaking him firmly.

"More self-critical nonsense. Why are you always so willing to give up and crumple on some things? You did what seemed best at the time. If people die, they die. But you did your best. I won't have you simpering and whining about how you're not good enough, d'you hear me?" she growled softly, her warm breath puffing against his skin. In the meanwhile Shikamaru was valiantly trying to both veil the surprise in his expression and come up with a witty retort to Temari having - once again - smacked some sense in to him. He was pleased at how he managed to school his voice in to a tone of indifference "I forgot that you're the only one that's allowed to tell me I'm not good enough."

He was expecting either a smack in the face or a shriek of annoyance, but instead sucked his breath in sharply as her nails scraped casually along his chest through the fishnet. "You better believe it." she purred, the sensuous touch gone almost as soon as it had been there. Without the hands gripping his shirt Shikamaru slumped back onto his back, mildly stunned, vaguely hearing a corresponding 'thump' and then feeling the heat of warm body slipping under his arm. He looked down and dumbly recognised Temari's golden hair as she slipped her arms around his waist, slinging one leg over his hip. It was beyond even his levels of self-control not to let out a small yelp at the hot sensation of her leg scissoring across his navel, or the corresponding lurch of his stomach.

"T..Temari..." he gargled out, glowing crimson as he stared down at her in disbelief. She shot him a wry smirk and tightened her grip, pressing herself flush up against him. "This is the desert baka, I'm trying to retain body warmth. Or do you want to freeze over the night?" He continued to eyeball her for a few minutes before allowing his head to thunk back down against the floor, letting out a small chuff of defeat. He could practically feel her grin in victory as she snuggled closer to him like an affectionate kitten. An extremely beautiful, mouthy, obnoxious, sexy kitten that was going to kill him as soon as she realised that he was having a hard time controlling his breathing with her this close. She let out a soft murmur as she shifted, trying to get comfortable, and every single muscle around his spine tensed as her lips brushed just under his ear. Amidst all of his nerves screaming he tried to find a bit of his brain with something sensible to say. The best he managed to find was simply: it's going to be a long night.

* * *

This was not the same man she had known and held that morning. This was not the man who had demanded, in his simple, direct fashion, that she teach him about happiness. Because in that moment he might not have known why, but he had known that she would give him anything she had. But then a lot had changed in the last twenty four hours. 

She remembered the sense of alienation she had first experienced when she had been assigned to be his guardian, and had looked in to his eyes. The mad Gaara she had known, been familiar with for all his sadism and cruelty, but he was almost like a myth from her past, a childhood fear that was pale and distant in the emotions it evoked. When she had looked into this cold, collected Gaara's eyes she had been unable to discern anything of him. It had taken her months to establish an awareness of the subtle alterations in his eyes, the twitchings at the corners of his mouth, that spoke volumes of things he would never willingly share. The new Gaara held such a tight rein over himself that it had initially seemed as though all that madness had evaporated. Often enough, for all her impatience, she had ripped reactions out of him, desperate for proof that all the villagers had done to him over the years had not rendered him emotionally dead. In fights and in screaming taunts she had found some kind of relief in knowing that she could get a response from him. She didn't know when that had not been enough anymore. Knowing the fury and the hurt was still there had been one thing. Going about removing it was another. And who was she, that she thought she could? Humiliation and shame washed over her, hot and dousing. What could someone like her offer to save him from everything a world had fought to turn him into? Did she honestly think she could claw off all the years of loneliness and blood, sleepless isolation from any normalicy, just because she wanted to? She had already failed. In so small a task, in the simple offering of a promise, she had shown she was not up to the challenge. It didn't matter that she had meant it with every inch of her. She never wanted Gaara to be alone again, and she wanted to be the one that made sure he wasn't.

His eyes would tell her nothing now as he stared at her with an almost bloodless, starved expression, control binding him up so tightly, rigidly confining him into a clean slate that she could read nothing from. Slowly, he began to walk North, past Hogo, his sandcape billowing up slightly in a draught of wind. He could not have been more of a stranger to her in that second. For all of her that wanted to grab his arm and turn him round and scream at him until he felt something, there was far more of her that knew she could not touch him ever again. She had already failed.

"Gaara wait, you can't go that way, that's where the missing-nin are."

"So I'll kill them. Are they your allies that you want to save their lives?" was his caustic reply, those icy eyes flashing round to hers in an instant. The hot lancing pain that went through her heart at this off-hand accusation was almost par for the course now, and she ignored it even as it stung her.

"Of course they're not. But if they're after you then they must have some kind of plan - they know not to take you lightly. It's YOU I'm concerned for!"

He gave a snort of disgust at this and Hogo thought she saw his entire form tremor for a second with the burden of keeping his control. "I don't believe you. I never should have believed you." He closed his eyes for a moment, his mouth twisted into something ugly before he lifted his head and opened them once more. "You've done your job well. I'm sure the Elders will be pleased with your services to the village. You've allowed me to entertain whatever thoughts I've wanted so that I would be less of a threat. You let me believe... things that were never real."

What words could she give in response to that? He would not believe a single one. She knew that now. Gutted out and scooped empty with all the truths he would only see as lies, she simply shook her head and felt it confirmed that she was helpless to save him.

"... Would you have it that the Elders gave you a new guardian"

"No!"

The word was a whipcrack in the silence, sharp and echoing in the settling dusk. His eyes were brilliantly bright in the golden sunlight as they met hers for an instant before he evaded them again. "There's no one else." he amended bitterly through clenched teeth.

The arrival of the missing-nin was not unexpected. Gaara had made no signs of moving and Hogo could find nothing inside her that could even approximate a plan. The only automatic response she knew was that if Gaara was not going to leave, then neither was she.

"Cousin, I see your Konoha allies have abandoned you, what a surprise."

Hogo wearily lifted her gaze to view her treacherous cousin, dully pondering why the shinobi were not attacking. He looked her over with a supercilious smile as she grinned slightly back, a shifting of muscles that could hardly be called genuine.

"Shiro-san. I'm going to kill you and present your heart to your father." Shiro raised his eyebrows in vague surprise and clicked his tongue in remonstration. "Dear cousin, do you really think such an attitude is necessary? In case you hadn't noticed you're hardly in the situation to be offering up such uhh, charming promises."

Gaara seemed to simply be viewing the throng of shinobi with a cold curiousity, taking in the large number and gauging their reactions to him. They didn't seem in the least bit perturbed, only confirming Hogo's fears that they must have some kind of plan for subduing him.

"Well perhaps you should use your advantage of numbers instead of talking. You have nothing to say that I want to hear, traitor." Hogo spat, nonetheless not making any motion to assume a fighting stance. In truth she didn't know if she had it in her to fight any more, much as the thought disgusted her.

"Traitor? That's a terribly presumptuous term to use Hogo-chan. I've merely been more strategic than you, or my father more importantly, was willing to be. The Leaf are merely a hindrance, and when Baki's followers overthrow the Elders it will be in the best interests of the Jiyuujin if they were to cooperate."

"You care nothing for the Jiyuujin, teme! You tortured my father!"

Shiro frowned slightly and shook his head "That indeed was regrettable. I tried to get father to stop his reconnaisance, but Meirou can be almost as stubborn as you on occasion."

"And then you thought you could remove any other complications by sending me in to be killed alongside him?"

His smile was almost apologetic in its charm and Hogo had an abrupt urge to vomit "You can't blame me for trying to keep a footing on both sides of this war Hogo-chan. It would be unfortunate if, God forbid, this rebellion were to prove ineffective, that my involvement were found out. But naturally you proved far too tenacious to simply die. I should have expected as much."

Hogo didn't know where this was going but she didn't like the confident ease with which Shiro was smiling at her. She glanced back at Gaara to confirm that he was still there, still all right, and he was continuing to survey the group that surrounded them, arms folded.

"I see perhaps you are beginning to understand the relevence of this conversation." Shiro said dryly, removing his glasses and polishing them against his sleeve. Fighting fury was easily swimming back in to her veins as she watched him. She had never seen her cousin in combat - as the second son to the heir he had always known he would be passed up for power and had attempted to be as amenable and helpful as possible. He studied and kept to himself save for conferences with his brother and father about plans for the future. To know that someone like him had been keeping all of this beneath such a veneer made her want to rip him to pieces.

His gaze slid easily to Gaara and then back to her and a gutwrench of unease caused her to step back, closer to Gaara. "It was never my desire to have you caught up in the situation Hogo-chan. I consider you a useful member of the Jiyuujin clan, superfluous as some of the lesser branches are. And I know that you are loyal, which is why you should consider what I am about to offer you carefully."

Her guts only tightened further as realisation unzipped her. They had not been coming back for Gaara, at least not directly. They had come for her.

"You are ambitious, you seek to obtain power. I know you do." Shiro's eyes were almost reptilian in their purely evaluative look. How had she never noticed how he looked at everyone as if cataloguing their uses? "And after the rebellion, I can see to it that all manner of benefits are put your way. My studies have revealed all manner of fascinating genjutsus that you could wield to unimaginable effect."

He stepped closer now, his tone softening, becoming persuasive. "Give us Gaara. I know it's in your power to do it. That is why you are his guardian."

She could practically feel Gaara bristle behind her, but still he did nothing, and she found she could not look away from Shiro's eyes. Eyes that said he had been cataloguing her for some time, and that offered a type of power she could never hope to achieve on her own.

"No."

His face showed that he did not believe her and a smile almost graced his lips "Take a chance to consider Hogo-chan. Think of all the things that I can offer you, the knowledge I have of Jiyuujin techniques that have been denied you as a branch member..."

"I said, _No_. And I will repeat this. I intend to kill you and present your heart to your father. That foul tongue of yours, I intend to keep for myself."

Those reptilian eyes hardened as the shinobi around them began shifting impatiently, waiting for carnage in whatever form it would come. "I do not understand your motivations Hogo. You of all people should be willing to see Gaara suffer..."

"Shut up."

"He's the very reason that you long for strength and look in all the darkest corners of yourself for something capable of destruction."

"Stop it..."

"He KILLED your mother!"

The words resonated like a shockwave through her brain as everything around her became silent in its wake. She knew her lips formed the word 'No' but she couldn't hear it, couldn't feel it. Her ears were suddenly ringing and the world was tilting at an impossible angle.

"He took away your childhood and yet you choose to follow him. Why?" She distantly heard the words through some muted spectrum, through the thick cloth that seemed to pack around her brain. It didn't matter because she was turning to look at him, at his wide wide eyes and the look of utter disbelief and horror that was written there.

"I..." So many times so many deaths, how could he possibly know? How could he remember one face amidst a hundred, even if it was the only face for her, the face of her mother who she'd seen broken and covered in blood?

The world was trembling underneath their feet and she could hear the shinobi's shouting but she only had eyes for him as he clutched one hand over his heart and breathed raggedly, as though it was torture to have to drag breath in to his lungs. There were walls and mountains and coils of sand that filled up the horizon and swallowed the sky for them as they rose up, sobs of wild despair filling her ears along with the thunder, the trembling of the world. She thought perhaps the world would crack and let them fall in together as he screamed, the shaking becoming too much for her so that she fell to her knees. Shockwave upon shockwave, a vivid impact that could not bring it all to rights once more pulsated through her, one single tear hitting the swirling desert floor beneath her hands. Nothing now but Sabaku No Gaara taking their lives to pieces in front of her, howling like a possessed fury with one hand over his heart to try and stop it hurting. Their hurts matched, if only from different angles and she would tell him, she would explain it all, she would make him understand how she had never wanted him to know that he had done this to her.

* * *

Are you choking on the angst? Are you, are you? Lemme know what you think my lovelies XD. 


	13. Teaser Chapter

This is a teaser chapter, a semi-chapter, a baby chapter. Because I'm horrible. Don't hit me!

P.S. The italicised bits are meant to be Hogo's dreams when she's slipping in and out of consciousness. Goodies. ENJOY!

* * *

The world was a fixation of shadows pinned down and writhing to be set free, clouds dancing above her. She had fallen into the centre of the earth and it was dark and cold. Her vision blurred and a knifeblade of clarity hit her and told her she should be dead. Perhaps she was caught in some kind of stasis before death, although stasis it could not be because the sky was moving too fast and she too, was moving. But still all was dense and thick, but intangible as smoke. The clouds continued to race across the shadows and the subtlest of hissings filled her ears. Cold held her in a numbing grip only briefly before a more complete darkness loomed in to shroud her mind in sleep once more. Before it did, she could distantly hear someone crying...

* * *

_She had never seen her father cry before._

_It added to the terror that had been filling her, up from her toes, through her stomach and into her throat, making her feel like she was drowning. The terror that had been filling her ever since her mother had left that night, and everyone had looked so serious. She had been meant to be asleep, she was being naughty she knew, and expected a scolding when her mother exited the Conference Room and caught her trying to sneak away. Instead her name was called, soft and kind as the embrace that enveloped her, something to sink into and find safety from anything. She did not understand why her mother's eyes were so thoughtful, why the stroking of her hair was so lingering a touch. Her mother was wearing her ANBU clothing and she remembered the bleached white, expressionless face of the cat mask looming over her as she was put to bed, and her mother kissed her goodnight._

_Maybe it was that cold bone-like catface without eyes that had given her nightmares, but she had not slept long. And when she left her room once more the shadows and the darkness seemed that much more frightening because she knew her mother had left for the night on a mission. Her own home was stretched monstrous in the nighttime, not something that mattered normally because her father had taught her that fear was weakness, so she was not allowed to be afraid. But tonight, the air was caught up in her chest and everything was far too silent. She had tiptoed down the platforms, even the gentle patter of her own feet impossibly loud in this thick angry silence. Then it had all been far, far too loud as the Bell at the gatehouse of their home was rung, a harsh pealing clang that caused her to cower back into a corner as golden light forced the shadows to slink back, servants throwing open doors and running to the entrance. The clamour of dozens of feet and yelling voices made her heart pound and she crammed her fists over her ears, squeezed her eyes shut against it. Something inside her screaming because something must be wrong, no one rang the bell, it was nighttime and everyone was yelling and rushing to the gates._

_When she peaked her eyes open they were already trained up to the rooftops, so they immediately saw the sillouhuette imposed across the nightsky. A snivvling whimper escaped from around the fist that she had crammed against her mouth as she tried to squirm further back into the corner. He was small, smaller than her, but in that moment a horror she had never known caught up inside her and ran riot. The sand monster was on the roof, the nightmare that made every reassurance from grownups that she could not be hurt while they were around a lie. It was there and it was in her home. It that even the grown ups were afraid of. HIM._

* * *

"Kankurou-san, what's wrong with him?"

Kankurou frowned at the desperate tone in Hinata's voice as he crouched down next to the dark-haired Shinobi, lifting his eyelid and peering at his pupils. Neji was clearly not so out of it that he was willing to take this indignity quietly and swiftly slapped his hand away, albeit with none of the grace or speed that was natural to him normally. Kankurou shrugged at the feeble swipe and addressed the kunoichi that was cradling him. "He's suffering from mild dehydration. Understandable considering the amount of evading we've been doing. He'll be weak, dizzy, and he might faint, but at this stage it's nothing serious." During their mad dash to escape the shinobi that were trailing them Hinata and Neji had found an approaching attacker swiftly dispatched by Karasu. When the missing-nin had, for some unknown reason, backed down, the three of them had found the nearest approximation of shelter in a rocky gorge to wait out the night. Neji's lethargy and silence had begun to concern both of them before he had slumped to the ground altogether.

"How long before it actually becomes serious?" she murmured, looking down at where she had rested Neji's head on her lap. He blearily opened his eyes and looked up at her in mild consternation, his expression speaking volumes of 'I'm really fine, I don't know what all the fuss is about'. Kankurou scratched the back of his neck thoughtfully. "I can't tell for sure without knowing how far along he is. Oi, Neji-kun, describe how you're feeling." he said, poking Neji belligerently in the belly and earning a glare to which he grinned cheekily. "You're not a medical-nin anyway Kankurou, I doubt you'd be able to tell me anything helpful." Neji's tone was far firmer than the focus of his eyes would have suggested him capable of, and Kankurou clicked his tongue in amusement before nodding

"True, true. Well, I guess I better try and be more practically helpful then." he continued, straightening and heading towards the mouth of the small incline they were perched in. "I'll see if there are any underground resevoirs nearby, find some water for Mr. Irritable here." he called back before wandering off around the rest of the gorge, waving idly back to them as he went.

Silence filled the air in his absence, having Neji on her lap suddenly seeming far less natural when the instinct to cushion him from a fall was no longer there. Shifting uneasily, she finally resorted to pulling off her jacket and folding it into an impromptu pillow which she settled under his head before moving round. He had barely been there for a few minutes before he sat up on his elbows determinedly, despite Hinata's quiet insistence that he lie back down "I'm fine Hinata-sama, please stop... fussing over me." he ended tightly. She said nothing but he could feel her hurt emanating from that very silence. Both a combination of a sudden swelling of weariness washing over him, and an inkling of guilt, caused him to flop back down again. "Fine. We'll do things your way." he growled softly, the weariness not abating, washing over him so that his limbs felt suporific, kitten weak. In honesty, it hurt to talk. His throat was dry as clay and whenever he opened his lips it felt like his tongue was sticking to the roof of his mouth. He felt Hinata's hand gingerly smoothing across his forehead and he was amazed at just how soothing the cool softness of her hand was. He leant up into the touch, a sigh escaping his lips as his eyes drifted closed.

Hinata blushed brightly as Neji moved his head to follow her touch but found herself utterly absorbed in taking in his face. She normally only ever managed nervous snatches to look at him, fearful of the response she would get if her eyes lingered too long. He had always been such an imposing figure to her that she had never dared stare. But in this moment she was almost fascinated as she took in the sharp cheekbones and firm jaw that made up the outlines of his features. Barely even considering that she was doing it, she stroked his dark hair from his forehead and he murmured sleepily to himself, a slight smile falling across his lips. Her heart lurched abruptly. She was so accustomed to seeing these features hardened with severity or formality. As she gently combed her long fingers through the thickness of his hair he let out another, more heartfelt sigh, and she couldn't help the smile that graced her lips. Who would have guessed that her intimidating cousin enjoyed having his hair played with? Skilfully kneading the skin about his temples, it was a subconscious gesture that found her looking down at his mouth. Her heart froze in panic as his lips formed a parched word "Hinata."

Her eyes shot up and saw that his were open once more. All the nervousness that normally clouded her competence hit her full force and she snapped her hands back up away from him, avoiding his gaze.

"Why d'you stop?"

She looked up in disbelief at what almost approximated a pout on Neji's sleepy features, his words sounding woolly and vaguely jumbled. Her cheeks heated all over again as she found herself acknowledging that he looked absolutely adorable. He sighed again and leant his head back, eyes skipping shut again. "It felt good..."

Hesitating, she slowly brought her hands back to his temples and began massaging them again, smiling nervously as Neji let out almost a groan of enjoyment. Unknown to her, Kankurou had walked up to the entrance of the enclave, only to surreptitiously wander off again when he saw the position the two were in. He rolled his eyes to himself but grinned nonetheless. Doubtless as soon as Neji came to, the uptight guy would be pricklier than a cactus towards poor little Hinata. He shrugged to himself as he wandered back the direction he had come. At least it was better than if he had gone with Temari and Shikamaru. He didn't even want to think about what those two might be getting up to...

* * *

_They had been rendered faceless by this evil night even if the shadows had retreated, but a servant had carried her back to her room even as she had screamed and cried, terrified because she had seen the Monster and because no one would tell her why everyone was yelling. She had hid under her bedsheet as the noise increased, abated, and finally silenced into something far darker than that which had been there before. Being alone when the Monster was out, knowing something was wrong. Liquid fear, drip drip dripping into her so that she felt full of it. Third time unlucky, she crept out of her room into the coming dawn. The world was grey with muted light and it felt unreal as she pattered down the walkways to her parent's rooms._

_She had never seen her father cry before._

_The fear was no longer liquid but was something solid and definite as it settled in her guts to gnaw and chew its way free as he that was made of strength and power and knowledge, knelt with his shoulders caved in sobs. She had feared him back then, feared his disapproval and disappointment. He was rock hard and he was not meant to cry. He was knelt in front of a long white sheet, but it had stains on it. She saw his fingers dig into his hand, blunt nails scraping futilely and yet mercilessly as the almost silent sobs shuddered his frame. The gentle noise of her feet touching the floor was the only thing that told her she was moving forward as that solid terror bit and ate at her, she had to know why her father was crying. Her foot met with wetness and she knew it was sticky but it was cold, very cold as her eyes drifted to it and saw that it was red._

_Where was her mother, and why was father crying?_

* * *

"Are you okay old man?"

At the panting note in Naruto's voice Meirou turned in his direction, an eyebrow raised in wry amusement. If he had been able to see it he would have taken in Naruto's dishevelled and generally irritable appearance. As it was he merely detected it from his tone. "It seems you are tired Naruto-kun. Or are the desert conditions too much for you?"

"It's not that!" Naruto exclaimed indignantly, still panting slightly, Kiba giving him a glance. "You just don't seem to ever need to stop for a break! It's been night for a while now, shouldn't we y'know... go to sleep?"

Meirou chuckled in amusement and pressed on, shaking his head "Sadly we need to get back to the village as soon as possible. We need to warn Suna. I've been doing this for a few more years than you Naruto-kun, that's the only trick to it." he replied, ruffling Naruto's hair to which he grumbled in quiet annoyance. "That's not the trick, you're a damned robot or something." he mumbled to himself. Kiba grunted with amusement at this, a noise that swiftly disintegrated into vigorous coughing. Meirou finally slowed, turning and putting out a wary hand that finally found its way to Kiba's shoulder. "Are you alright Kiba-kun?" Kiba nodded determinedly, fitting words in in between coughs "I got hit.. by some kind of smoke bomb earlier... I think it might have done something to my lungs." Meirou frowned slightly and pressed Kiba's shoulder, encouraging him to sit down. Naruto leapt forward at this "How come when I say we should stop no one listens!"

"Shut up... Naruto..." hacked Kiba violently as Meirou's hands gently pressed his chest, poking and examining. Scowling, Naruto hunkered down on his heels and glared suspiciously at Kiba, quite sure that he was faking and mad that he hadn't thought of it himself. When Akamaru growled at him he stuck his tongue out sullenly. "Is there.. something wrong Meirou-sama?" Kiba managed, squinting with discomfort. Meirou smiled dryly as his hand continued to explore along his chest. Kiba didn't question how this would enable him to detect a problem, not wanting to interrupt the look of intense concentration that covered Meirou's features. "You should call me old man like Naruto-kun. I don't want to be confused by different addresses." he said solemnly, quiet amusement in his tone.

"You've inhaled a small amount of poisonous gas - it's burning the inside of your lungs."

Naruto gulped nervously and looked at Kiba with new-found concern. "So we need to get back to Suna right?" he demanded, rocking on his heels nervously. "We're presented with a difficult situation. If Kiba moves it will exacerbate the spread of the poison in his lungs. However if we stay here he will likewise deteriorate, and I am unable to direct us to a place where we might seek shelter in my condition."

Naruto looked from one to the other for a minute before giving a chuff of annoyance and shuffling forward, grabbing Kiba's arm. He gave a broadly mischievous grin at Kiba's look of confusion before hoisting him over his shoulder. "N.. Oi, Naruto!" Kiba exclaimed indignantly as Naruto shifted him to try and accomodate his weight across his shoulders. "Looks like I'll be carrying him then!" Naruto declared to Meirou who had been attempting to decipher what was going on with little success. A smirk crept over the elder man's face as he also stood up.

"I think I can see why you people are Hogo's friends."

* * *

_And she had been buried, and she was beautiful once, with bright eyes and a smile that spoke of strength and sweetness matching one another. She had moved like quicksilver, fluid and fast, her hands were long and supple, calloused by battle but she had the softest embrace in the world._

_Her father held her hand tight and the wind had stuck sand to her cheeks as she cried. He never normally held her hand. She remembered the blood and she knew that she would never see her mother's face again without the image of it dead and staring interrupting the memory. Her mind was not going to be gentle with her. But her father held her hand, and she watched them bury her. She hadn't dare touch her and she wondered if she would have been cold or warm still, but the blood had been cold, icy on her foot, so she must have been cold._

_The Monster kept to the shadows but she saw him all the same. She looked without the fear of before because it had turned to soot. Nothing remained to fear the loss of and she looked and she saw that his eyes were big and blue-green. He looked haggard and pale and scrawny, like a little stray animal. It seemed impossible, how was it possible? He was so small, her mother had been so fast... Before a myth, now he was real because he had stolen her life from her in taking her mothers. She had heard of all the things he had done but never seen it, never known it._

_He was so small and pale and thin. How could he have crushed her so that she was barely recognisable?_

* * *

Don't hurt me, if I die I can't write the next chapter. HUGS XD!


	14. Explanations Create More Questions

It is here. Oh yes it is **(DUM DUM DUUUUM) **This chapter is just focused around Gaara and Hogo, but fear not, you'll get updates on the others in the next chapters! I would not want to deprive you of them teeheee. I'm hoping people will like it, I'm worried I might have rushed it because I have EXAMS ON MONDAY **(cries hysterically before running into a wall) **Ahem. Teehee.

cheh - NOO don't tell me anything about Saving Gaara arc **(covers her ears) **I'm faithfully, albeit stupidly, waiting for the anime, even though my treacherous friends have caved and are just reading the manga. Don't get me wrong, I like reading the manga but I want to see the anime FIRST! Glad you liked my NejiHina bit, heheee, and YES I LOVE Kankurou, I have so much fun writing him!

Mina - A veritable HogoGaarafest awaits you! FULL to BURSTING of angsty and mushiness in equal quantity XD.

LinnyShidou - Awww thankee so much! My head will explode!

Blackeelamgal9 - Hehehe my chapters explode! Just like my head **(points upwards)**

AnimeSiren - YAY!

Iheartchopsticks - Yep, he indeed has! But he wasn't expecting company... mwahahhaaa!

i'manobody - Glad you liked XD Good luck with your exams, I feel your pain!

emily-the-elemental - You should be pleased, you're one of the reasons I finished writing this chapter because you were so demanding, lol! XD

Enjoy!

* * *

When her eyes opened this time her mind felt sharper, less shrouded in foggy incomprehension. She blinked slowly as the nightsky, a reality she could latch on to now, swam in and out of focus. That hissing, almost lulling for all it's soft, sinister murmurings, remained and she recognised it now. Still sluggish she carefully considered injuries. Her head ached, a low throb that would explain why her vision kept dancing. Her right arm felt freezing cold, almost numbed completely, but beneath that iciness she could feel the subtle adrenaline of redhot pain. She doubted she could move it, and as she slowly considered this she acknowledged that all of her was cold, but not as cold as she should be. The clouds continued to travel over her head as her breath formed icy mist above her mouth. The nights were freezing, the sky was moving above her, she couldn't move, and there was that hissing.

Eyes trailing to her right, and then her left, she blinked in recognition as she saw Lee looking down at her, seemingly moving alongside her horizontal form. She closed her eyes tightly in an attempt to force their obedience as the perspective of being unable to move herself whilst clearly definitely moving made her feel vaguely nauseaus.

"I'm glad you're awake Hogo-san." he said softly, and when she opened her eyes once more she saw his lips were blue from the cold. "...What's happening?" she managed to croak out, her throat feeling abrasive and cruel. He shook his head determinedly, "I don't know. I was attempting to make my way back to Suna when I... saw you two. I thought you were dead when I saw the way he was carrying you." Hogo let out her breath in a puff of repressed gathering of strength, before lowering her chin to glance down her body.

As she had expected the moment she had heard that slithering noise, she was resting upon a small platform of densely packed sand, a further amount coiling about her to provide warmth. From where her head came up to Lee, approximately to his waist, she presumed she was floating some distance from the floor. Her right shoulder, she peered round to examine, was entirely covered. Following her look Lee grimaced "I believe you were injured, but whenever I tried to look at it, the sand tightened. I think he's using the sand to stop the flow of blood."

Hogo nodded blearily, turning to look up at the clouds again as her mind moved with all the stunned quiet of shell-shock. She coolly considered that Gaara obviously wasn't thinking clearly - no matter how tightly he packed the sand it was hardly appropriate to protect a wound. She would get infected by the particles that would remain in the wound. But then maybe Gaara wasn't thinking at all. Reaching her from the recesses of her mind, tugging at her from the shades, was a memory of someone crying. Gaara, her father, herself. Whose tears it was she was remembering, it didn't seem to matter right now. Still attempting to force her vision into consistency she focused further forward, and approximately forty feet ahead of them identified the figure of Gaara.

"He's been like that the entire time. I didn't think it wise to go any closer to him; I thought if I surprised him he might do something to you."

Even from this distance the wind caught up and brought them the mutterings coming from him like a poisonous gift. She couldn't make out individual words, only sounds, but it was enough to make her throat constrict all the same. Delicate and tense, it would waver from a broken sob to a seething hiss only to degenerate into hysteria again. She was relieved Lee had not attempted to interact with him. The air surrounding him was dense with unrest. Gingerly, she attempted to sit up only to have the sand coil tighter, effectively pinning her. Gaara didn't even turn round to acknowledge this as he continued walking, shoulders hunched, contemplating his hands, turning them over and over, never ceasing in his mutterings. An errant thought wondered just how unusual they must look, seemingly stalking him from this distance when in fact they were being irrevocably led through the black night of the desert by the only man who truly knew it. Her heart lurched awkwardly as she thought of how like a funeral procession it looked - her funeral. But he knew she wasn't dead. Where was he leading them? She attempted once more to sit upright and the sand once more held her fast, not vicious but undeniably firm.

"Gaara? Gaara please let me up. I'm fine Gaara. I want to talk to you. Please?" she called out into the nighttime, her voice sounding loud and sonerous in the expanse of nothingness. He didn't even pause in his murmurings at her voice, confirming her belief that he'd known when she'd regained consciousness almost as soon as she had. Lee exchanged a concerned look with her at his lack of response, and Hogo noticed once again that Lee was shivering violently. She was amazed that he hadn't frozen in these temperatures.

"Please Gaara, you're hurting me. If you'd just..."

As soon as the words left her mouth she felt the grip on her lessening, disintegrating about her so swiftly that she had to speedily gather her legs under her as she dropped to the floor. Lee caught her arm to steady her and it was all she could do to bite back a shriek of pain, buckling even as Lee wrapped an arm round her waist. Gasping and gritting her teeth against the agony washing through her, fighting back down the waves of it that filme her vision, she looked round at her shoulder in amazement. Down to her wrist she was caked in dried blood and sand, the several inches deep wound festering with clotted blood and desert. She knew without trying that she would not be able to move her arm, and that even if she attempted to it would simply disrupt whatever feeble seal had stopped the steady blood flow. Lee stared likewise, wide-eyed before rummaging frantically in his weapons pouch for his medical kit, wobbling with the task of attempting to hold her upright and keep them both moving also.

"Leave it." she murmured numbly, barely registering the appalled look Lee gave her as she stared glassy-eyed into the distance. "There's nothing you'll be able to do with just a few bandages."

"Please let me at least try Hogo-san! I couldn't live with myself if I..."

"It's not your fault Lee-kun. None of this is your fault. I'll be... fine... I just need to... me and Gaara need to..." she gave up trying to form coherent sentences and allowed Lee to practically drag her after Gaara, head flopping uselessly across her shoulders. After another ten minutes or so of walking she weakly lifted her head to look about her. She knew this place. An outpost for the village that had been abandoned years ago as proving too easily overrun. Gaara had told her about it once. She knew when he was young that he had ventured out here alone when the beast was most hungry within him. He had never bought her here. Not before tonight.

A swift swipe of his hand and the entrance, long covered over by sand, rumbled across, further blackness seeping out to greet them along with an inpenetrable chill, the smell of age and sun-scorched rock filtering through the nighttime breeze. Lee stopped abruptly and held her fast as she dimly viewed that Gaara had stopped moving. Her eyes widened briefly and then she screamed, her voice tearing up into the silence and echoing out like an animal's shriek as the wound began burning, pulsating with all-consuming agony. And amidst all that burning pain, her head rushing with the shock of it, a prickling stabbing sensation as she felt Lee gasp beside her, gripping her tighter as her legs buckled once more. He held her upright as the individual particles of sand, stained red, drifted from her wound, meticulously separating themselves, the blood flowing as their disruption was removed. It formed a swirling mist before her for a second before they dropped to the floor and she followed them in turn, collapsing altogether twitching violently. Lee followed her down and began speedily bandaging the now cleaned wound, stemming the bloodflow as Gaara was swallowed up by the black of the entrance.

* * *

It was the second time Hogo had awoken to Lee's face hovering above hers, and she felt her face stretch into an almost deranged sleepy smile before she was even aware of her outer faculties, grunting with discomfort as she attempted to shift stiff limbs. Whatever she was lying on was hard and ungiving but at least it wasn't freezing cold.

"You've only been out for about ten minutes, don't worry." he reassured her, smiling back at her stupidly bleary grin. Everything she could perceive - which was not much aside from Lee's face and blackness - looked cotton candy soft, fuzzy around the edges. "W...What the Hell...?" she mumbled, stretching her arm up and flinching in slight pain, but nowhere near the pain she had been expecting, as she attempted to rub her eye. Lee immediately caught her motion and settled her back down gently.

"There were still some medical supplies here. Luckily I found you some medication that should stave off the pain of your wound." he explained briefly. Hogo felt that stupid grin spreading across her face until it felt like an oil slick of happiness.

"That would explain why everything is so... shiny..."

Lee chuckled quietly, glancing off to the side with a hint of nervousness, a nervousness that put a dent of awareness in to this blur of warm coalescing indifference Hogo was feeling. As the blurred edges started swimming and collecting together, sewing up to render her unconscious again, she felt very much aware that there was something she needed to do...

* * *

When she awoke once more Lee had lit the cabin with a few sparse stubs of candles and was attempting to prepare a fire by breaking up the wooden chairs that were around the observation room. Tentatively, she stretched up her right arm and, whilst she felt it twinge with pain beneath the careful bandages Lee had prepared, it was hidden beneath the thrum of detachment the medication provided her. With a wary motion she finally pulled herself upright, taking in her surroundings. The ceiling was low with numerous slits in the stone walls that undoubtedly provided perspective out in to the desert terrain, and a large table dominated the centre of an admittedly small room, still covered with sand-strewn maps. Off to her right a tunnel, swamped in blackness, doubtless led back out into the desert. Lee looked up from his ministrations and managed to give her a tight smile, nodding in the direction she was looking. "Its several miles long, the entrance tunnel. I'm amazed it hasn't collapsed over the years."

Hogo nodded dimly, scanning the room further as she stiffly turned and brought her feet to the floor. "...Where is he?" she asked finally, gripping the edge of the bench she had been laid on as she forced herself upright. Lee instantly came over to give her some support, holding her good shoulder gently before nodding to a door that was behind where her bench had been. She gave him a nod in thanks and carefully stepped out from beneath his arm. Her legs felt weak but they would carry her, and some things needed to be said. Visions, so long banished from her mind because they were useless, they would not help her, brought alive once more by her fevered dreams, duly replayed themselves with all the routine precision of a film reel. She watched them twist and writhe and left them there in her mind as she continued to move forwards.

She gripped the stone frame of the door before stepping into it's darkness. It took some time for her eyes to adjust to this intense black, only the dim light of the adjoining room offering illumination, but even before she could see anything she could hear his murmurings, breaking up with tears. Her skin prickled with awareness and her heart tore slowly, seamlessly down the middle, before she caught the vague outline of him in the opposite corner, hunched up against the wall, knees drawn up defensively. He didn't look up at her but she could tell he knew she was there. He was trembling slightly, whether from cold or misery she did not know, and she slowly slid down the wall likewise, maintaining her distance as he hunched more tightly together for a moment protectively. There was a long pause in which she waited.

"What were you intending to do?" he shuddered out finally, eyes glittering in the sparse light whenever his skittish movements rendered them visible. He did not look at her. "Wait until I was so wrapped up in you I could see nothing else before killing me? Offer me up to rebels so they could perform experiments on me?" The words came out in a jumble, his terrified frantic thoughts bubbling out at her.

"You know that's not true. If that was my intention I could have handed you over to them in the desert earlier." she said softly, watching the light slant across his pale cheekbones and into his shock of hair. She closed her eyes and her mother's face was covered in blood, her head was the wrong shape.

Even if his face remained the same it might as well have crumpled altogether for what his voice gave away. "... Why did you never TELL me Hogo?" he demanded in almost a whimper, his voice breaking with emotion as his nails dug into his knees. She swallowed down her own tears as she stared at the sandy floor "I knew you would never believe that I willingly wanted to be with you. That I willingly wanted to protect you with my life. You would not trust me."

He shook his head feebly, rolling back until his nape met the wall with his mouth twisted against the feelings assaulting him. "No... No Hogo, you... you never wanted me..." he wailed softly. She gathered a shuddering breath into her as these words cut her. She leant forward then, needing to feel some level of proximity, some familiarity with the man she had known, who she was hurting.

"Gaara, I won't lie to you. I hated you." he flinched at these words but she carried on relentlessly, needing to make him understand, needing him to know. As his had before hers, she could feel her voice break and crack with the sadness of a past she had never wanted to address or deal with.

"Gods I spent months, years attempting to despise you with my entire being, I had nothing left in my soul because you'd dried me up in taking the only warmth I was sure was real. Mother, love, sweetness she had the most lovely smile and I could see in my own father's eyes that he resented me for having her smile too even as he loved me. My smile was a blistered curse because it came from the woman who was gone that was better than I could ever hope to replace in this world. I was a poor replacement for a woman like her. I used to watch you on the rooftops and in the night and in all the places you revealed yourself, and plot and think about the day in which I could reap all manner of revenge upon you but it was futile and pathetic because you were stronger than me, you would always be stronger than me because I was a useless little girl and you had the power of a demon inside you. I wanted my life to be your death but you had killed my mother, so much faster, so much more skilful than I could ever hope to be.

I... _TRIED_ to hate you Gaara. I was forced to grow up fast and I didn't look at you as a monster from childhood anymore, I couldn't understand how a little boy could have killed my mother. I wanted to hate you and that hate turned sour and introverted and all the same grew stronger every second because whenever I looked at you now I only saw a little boy. How was I meant to hate that? My life had been destroyed by someone who had never even had a life to appreciate the value of what he'd taken. For every time I saw my mother's face and felt my heart break again I remembered you were just as alone as I was now. I'd spent so long looking at you that I didn't even notice it at first. But I was alone. Months of mourning had turned into years, years of planning and training and burning inside my own skin while other kids played and made friends. I didn't.

I wanted to despise you but instead I ended up joining you. You met me on the other side of loneliness without ever having recognised my face. You had never known a mother and you had taken mine, so now... we were matched, only never so matched because my mother had loved me. In trying to hate you I had only brought you so close as to make you my parallel."

Gaara had progressively stilled as she had spoken and was now utterly motionless, his gaze fixed upon the floor. The tears Hogo felt were red hot saltiness on her lips as she leant further forwards, desperate for some kind of response, for him to know that she wasn't lying. "I can't hate you Gaara. I realised that years ago. How could I hate you? Even... even she didn't hate you, when she was assigned to..." Gaara's eyes flickered briefly and Hogo couldn't help but falter. Much as she wanted to, she didn't dare touch him, breach the gap that perhaps had always existed between them despite her efforts.

"How could you forgive me for something like that?" His voice was so quiet she could barely hear him, a tremulous catch of breath more than anything else. And he finally lifted his head and looked at her. It was the look in those eyes she knew better than any other, naked despair coating them. _You will hate me and you will abandon me and see me as a monster because I am a monster. I will lose you when I never had you because monsters deserve nothing, and are allowed to keep nothing._ It was that look and all it said that found her mouth working for her, saying these things she said she would never say.

"Because I love you."

Her mind and heart and stomach all recoiled at once as she saw his eyes widen, paralysis seeming to grip him. The room positively sparked with a dangerous charge as he continued to stare at her, his breathing becoming erratic before one hand jerkily reached up to touch his forehead. He began to fold into himself and she brought up a hand to apologise, to calm him, anything, but he only flinched more, leaping upright and prowling away in to the other corner, slinking to the wall for protection.

"Y...you... I... I need to think... Just let me..." he babbled, eyes wild as the sand near him began stirring restlessly. The one word she knew could incite all manner of terror and anger from Gaara even now after so long, and she had recklessly flung it at him because she couldn't bear him not understanding anymore. But how had she thought he would react? She let out a sigh that felt as though it had deflated every aspect of feeling from her bones, closing her eyes briefly to gain control of herself before wiping the tear tracks from her face, and walking towards the door.

"Don't go far." she couldn't conceal the look of surprise on her face as she turned back, watching his trembling hand skim the kanji. "I need to know you're close."

* * *

Lee made a conserted effort to look very busy as she trailed out of the other room, shuffling the maps that were on the table around as if he was determined to find the perfect way for them to look. The silence was more or less deafening as she collapsed wearily back on to the bench, resting her head between her hands and listening to the seconds trickle past. She closed her eyes tightly, allowing herself one minute wherein the emotional and physical burdens overwhelmed her, kicking and screaming for supremacy in her attention. One minute was all it was permitted, and as her chest demanded to cave in and let every howling contemptuous conviction free, she clenched her hands tighter around her head, and counted the seconds. Inarticulate ravings, burnt out feelings that couldn't be given names any more, names for dead feelings were pointless, names even for the living ones served her no good. She had to clench her teeth around all the noise because she knew if she opened her mouth that the hysteria would force its way out of her like an independant creature. She had offered herself up and now it was not for her to decide. She didn't even have the energy to condemn her own stupidity. Then she opened her eyes and tamped down the feelings until they were muffled inside her stomach, and stood once more.

Joining Lee by the maps, she gave them a quick glance before shaking her head in dismissal "These are all at least fifty years old - they don't have any relevence to us now." Gathering them up she threw them on the fire Lee had created. "If I know my father he'll be attempting to get back to Suna tonight. Shikamaru will no doubt have found shelter for the night." She continued, pacing about the table despite her lethargy and the occasional pain to her shoulder. Lee nodded in agreement, discreetly pushing the remains of the medication he had given her across the table. She shot him a cool look before swallowing down the last few tablets, nodding in reluctant appreciation. Lee's concerned eyes told her he did not trust that she was entirely herself still, and she doubted that she had entirely banished the haunted sense of years of misery unveiling themselves at once from her face. Nonetheless she continued her agitated pacing, not having the time or the strength to convince Lee that she was alright.

"What is an issue far more relevent to us right now, is what the missing-nin are doing. They can't rely on surprise any more now that we know their whereabouts and they aren't going to want us having the opportunity to return and share information we've collected. They're going to have to attack soon, tomorrow night at the latest." Lee's eyes skipped towards the black doorway,

"Shouldn't we be including Gaara in this discussion?" he asked, not missing the way Hogo's jaw tensed.

"... No. Leave him for now." Lee had become very good at not asking questions in his years of training with someone as monosyllabic as Neji, and knew better than to ask further. He had however also inherited Gai-sensei's unbound enthusiasm, and decided to take the situation as an opportunity for exercising this aspect of his personality. Grinning widely, he adopted his 'nice-guy pose' in an attempt to alleviate the tension filling the room. "OK Hogo-san! You are an accomplished kunoichi and I trust your judgement!" he exclaimed loudly. Hogo winced, feeling a headache coming on, but couldn't help but feel lifted, however minutely, by Lee's optimism and spirit. Smiling slightly at him she feebly returned the gesture

"Good to know Lee-kun. But there's something you should hear... Before you found me and Gaara, the missing-nin attempted to get me to side with them to stop Gaara. That means they still acknowledge him as a threat. Which is why I believe they'll be coming for us tonight."

Lee stiffened instantly at this, his attention trailing once more to the room Gaara was hidden in. Reaching across Hogo gripped his shoulder tightly, seeing his eyes widen at her firm hold as she pulled him forward. "It is our responsibility to make sure they don't hurt him. I don't doubt that they had a second plan if I refused their offer, and Gaara may well be the only person who can protect Suna from them. WE are the defence."

Lee's eyes practically gleamed at these words and Hogo was glad that she had someone who saw such odds as a challenge with her. The medication was working in at least alleviating her discomfort and for a few moment she felt heady, almost buoyant. It was pointless, ridiculous, to feel optimism or hope right now. But that didn't prevent her from relying on reckless abandonment. She could definitely handle that, knowing the numbers, knowing their circumstances. It was all she could rely on, the knowledge that she was just about stupid enough to throw herself into the situation irrelative to whether she would come out the other side. She had done it before far too often, and luck like that would not hold out forever, she knew that all too well. But it wasn't as if there was any other choice. She knew that she needed to maintain this feeling, this strength, for both herself and for Lee. And for Gaara.

Slapping Lee firmly on the shoulder, she grinned wolfishly "But it's not going to be a problem for us. We can handle it." she snarled determinedly, to which he grinned in turn. "YEAH! We can do it!" he yelled excitedly and she smiled in amazement at how willingly he got revved up.

"Hogo."

His voice was quiet and purposefully controlled, revealing nothing. All the same Hogo found herself dreading returning to that room and dealing with what she had started. His reaction would change nothing - he cared for her and she knew this, and her loyalty would not change even if he were to decide he detested her. Caring would simply have to be enough. Slowly, she made her way back to the doorway, feeling every nerve inside her tremble with tension. She already knew what the result would be, if not the words he would use. She knew the inevitable, but that did not mean she wished to hear it, even to get it over with. She would have rather if it had never been addressed, but then so much had been laid bare over this day that it seemed pointless that anything should remain hidden. A part of her that was insistent that she just run away, irrational though it might have been, was slightly less ridiculous than her thought that she had nothing to fear from Gaara. She had everything to fear from Gaara, but it had never stopped her before as she ventured into that cool darkness.

She was more than a little surprised when the door slid shut behind her and rendered her blind, but she gave no outer indication, merely clenching her hands tightly and attempting to soothe the savage beat of her heart. Now at least, she knew that Gaara was behind her. She did not bother to turn round, knowing she would see nothing, and yet strangely felt acutely aware that she could be seen. It was absurd she knew, but the thought remained as her heart refused to stop pounding. In the tense quiet she could hear her own breathing, soft and tremulous, making the dark feel claustrophobically close.

"I promised I would not insult you by saying I'm sorry. I don't expect your forgiveness."

She was unable to stop her head from whipping round as he spoke, sensing his closeness and feeling painfully self-conscious in this sheer black, vulnerable in a way she had not for years. She did not reply and still did not turn around though she could just detect his movements by the sound of clothing rustling, the gentle scuff of his shoes in the sand. Her breath shuddered out of her lungs shallowly as she wondered if he could hear her heart rate, the hairs on the back of her neck bristling in the cold.

"I don't know what you expect me to do." he continued in that brittle silence, and Hogo felt his hot breath on the nape of her neck but when she turned sharply again she knew he was no longer there.

"With what? My love?" she asked out into the black,attempting to follow his movement but no longer sure where he was. That seething power of his dominated the entire room, giving her no specific location, and she felt it swell in an instantaneous response to that word.

"...Yes." he said finally, with seeming reluctance. The bitterness of her dread was intensified by relief, relief that she was exactly where she had expected to be, dread for the exact same reason. But she had known he would respond in such a fashion, so why did it still matter? She swallowed hard, willing her voice to come out cool, detached, and almost managing it.

"You don't have to do anything with it. It's not like normal gifts. You don't even have to accept it..." she found herself faltering as she felt the heat of his body behind her, becoming rigid with feelings of unease and misery. He was so close, and yet in this blackness and with these words lodged in her throat she couldn't bare turning to try and see him. He could not be more than inches away, she could hear his breathing, like hers tight with tension, rustling the still air. Was he toying with her? She let out a sigh of resignation, giving up every attempt at composure and distance from this.

"I didn't mean to cause you upset Gaara. It doesn't matter, what I said, you don't have to..."

Her heart finally stopped its hideously fast pounding, stopped altogether, as she felt his arms snake around her waist, pulling her hard up against his chest. His hot breath bit into the side of her neck and she could feel him trembling against her as his hold tightened. She was glad he was holding her because she was sure her knees were going to buckle.

"It matters. Just tell me what to do."

Still knowing she would see nothing in this dark she looked down at where his arms were locked around her slim waist, feeling him rest his forehead against the nape of her neck, his breathing shallow. Her skin tingled, nerve ends screaming everywhere his hot breath touched. Hesitantly she skimmed her fingers across his arms, as if attempting to verify that they were there, feeling them clench around her possessively, pulling her back up against his firm chest more securely.

"Just... just do whatever makes you happy. That's all I've ever wanted - that's all Love _means_." she replied finally in trembling tones. The rise and fall of his chest against her tense back moderated slightly as he contemplated this response, and she was unable to prevent herself from arching back against him and letting out a startled groan as his nails scraped bluntly across her abdomen.

"What makes me happy..." he repeated, more to himself than anything else, and then Hogo found herself being spun round and practically tackled to the floor, grunting as all the air left her lungs and his entire body length wrammed into hers. Before she could even gather breath her mouth was voraciously claimed, a clumsy desperate kiss that had her tasting blood but she didn't care because all she could hear were the keening noises of need coming from Gaara's throat that were degenerating into growls. Something approximating a strangled gasp escaped her as he bit her bottom lip hard, nipping and sucking, murmuring incoherently into the kiss as his hands trailed wherever they could reach. Her mind was reeling, this couldn't be happening, it must be the medication, he couldn't really be... The fingers interlocking with hers, pinning her hands above her head, the tongue in her mouth. This was real.

"Don't be lying... Don't be lying..." Was all she could hear as she returned the kiss, tasting blood on his tongue and gripping his clothing, pulling him closer if such a thing were possible. She felt one of his hands coil into her hair, fisting a handful and pulling her head back to nibble and lick her throat. She hissed in annoyance at the pain and he let out practically a purr of enjoyment as she followed in kind. There was nothing delicate about it, he knew she would not break just as she knew he wouldn't, and they needed this, after so many insecurities and hateful words. And then he was kissing her again with a depth that showed her words weren't going to matter ever again, ravaging her mouth with sensuous demanding. A moan that was almost hopeless in its utter want came out as hot murmurings against her lips before his hands were fumbling, tugging at her clothes in a search for more warm flesh, slipping under her top and exploring the expanse of silky skin. She slid her hands up onto the bare skin of his muscled back, nails scratching trails which he growled in feral delight over, taking her mouth again. When he bit into the juncture of her shoulder and her neck she bucked up against him helplessly, giving a breathless moan that degenerated into laughter "Are you... marking me?" she gasped as he continued sucking across her throat to the other side of her neck, nibbling on her earlobe. "...Beautiful..." was the only discernible word she heard, her heart clenching while his attentions turned to her shoulders, shoving her top aside in the quest of his hot mouth for more skin. "You talk too much, and you wear too many clothes." he growled in annoyance, still straddling her but sitting up to tug adamantly at her clothing.

"And you're a grumpy spoilt brat." she countered laughingly, her clever hands skittering up his top across his taut stomach and chest. Gripping one of her hands he pulled her up to meet him effortlessly, shifting his hips closer to hers, breath wafting across her face.

"Idiot"

"Moron."

"Loser."

"Brat."

"Mine. My Idiot." he murmured, smiling into the kiss he pulled her into.

Then abruptly bright light scorched their closed eyelids and they were both recoiling, squinting at the intrusion. Through her bleary eyes Hogo could vaguely see the sillouhette of Lee.

"Oh.. OH! Oh I'm so sorry I thought you were ahhhhh..." They could both practically feel Lee's blush from where they were. Gaara had made no attempt to climb off Hogo and was continuing to glare in Lee's direction, clearly recovering from the bright light faster than her. "I thought you were fighting."

"We were. We were having a very serious fight and you should leave." stated Gaara in an intimidating monotone, somewhat detracted from by Hogo bursting into hysterical laughter beneath him. Both men looked at Hogo as if she had grown an extra head as she clung to the front of Gaara's shirt, giggling manically before gaining her composure. After much pointed shoving Gaara reluctantly got off her, fixing Lee with a look that could have killed were Lee not desperately looking at anything but the two of them, his face an impressive shade of scarlet. "There's only a few more hours to the night. If the missing-nin are going to come it'll be soon." he said before scuttling off back into the other room.

"Another interruption? Maybe someone's trying to tell us something." groaned Hogo, stepping towards the door only for Gaara's arm to loop her waist. She amiably swatted him away, trying to gather her flustered thoughts and make light of the situation.

"Later." she said with mock disaproval, as his eyes devoured her.

"Later?" he repeated, clearly soliciting a promise. She caught the gaze and held it, smiling gently as she skimmed one hand across his cheek. "You know I wasn't lying right?" He turned into her hand and kissed the palm lightly, eyes still burning with such an overwhelming intensity that Hogo wondered whether her heart would ever stop beating this fast.

"I know it."

* * *

Hope you like, eeeeeeee, review away my lovely darlings! XX 


	15. Chapter 15

Ok I started to feel absolutely disgusterous for abandoning all of you when you were being so completely wonderful about my writing. I really do love writing this but it takes up a lot of my time cause I get into it so much. Considering the amount of work I have on my plate nowadays I really shouldn't be carrying on but I CAN'T HELP IT DAMNIT! So yuh-huh, sorry for all of y'all that have got fed up and don't care anymore, and thanks for all of the interest and compliments. You people are the Shiniest. I anoint you with Jam and Opium. 

I DO have to warn you though that I'm revising for exams and these are VERY important exams so updates will be very, very slow. Don't beat me, I try so hard!

Enjoy...

* * *

_My eyes are growing more like yours every day. The intimate haunting demons that are personal to ourselves aside, the hardness I can see in your eyes, I can see in mine. The dark circles that show your sleeplessness to anyone that would dare to look close enough. I share them with you now, because I share your demons. I abandon sleep so you might take it back once again. I take upon myself, my hardships and yours. And now you know of mine. Are we coming together? Are we melding ourselves into each others histories in a way you never comprehended before? Are we melding ourselves into each others futures?_

_I cannot imagine this world for me without you._

_We are coming together. We are creating something more than our village would have two monsters capable of being._

_If you are a monster, then so am I._

_I cannot imagine this world for me without you._

Hogo finished wiping the dirt and blood from her face with the rag Lee had found for her, giving her reflection a final penetrating stare. Her attention shifted as she saw Gaara stepping into the mirror's gaze behind her. His words confirmed for her that which had been trembling inside her stomach, doing nothing to break through the cool perfect power that she felt inside her.

"They are coming."

Her smile had nothing to do with happiness and everything to do with the hard lines of battle. And the smile he gave in return was the same.

"Are you feeling energetic Gaara?"

* * *

"Meirou-sama, could you get this baka off me?"

Kankurou's muffled growl would have rendered a man of lesser control into fits of laughter, but Meirou simply smirked. "I think you'll find that whatever grapple you have the man in front of you in is unnecessary Naruto."

Naruto squinted down in confusion at the back of the head he currently had wrammed in to the sand before realisation slowly kicked in. After all, in the pitch black night, a dark shadow bulleting towards them had to be treated with caution, and the figures HAD come out of nowhere just as they were approaching Suna. "Kankurou! Oh I'm so-" Considering in the torturous amount of time it had taken Naruto to realise he was attacking his own teammate he had still not released him, and that even as he apologised he had not removed his grip, Kankurou's patience swiftly wore out. Naruto let out a garbled yelp before leaping backwards as Karasu's head pivoted on Kankurou's back and clattered his teeth aggressively. Meirou was finally unable to suppress a chuckle as he heard the irritated mutterings of Kankurou scrambling to his feet, dusting sand out of his clothing. Meirou lifted his head and nodded in the direction he knew Hinata and Neji to be "I see the Hyuuga male is feeling the ravages of our desert." The partially reunited group surveyed each other with exhausted relief, panting slightly, soaked in sweat and sand and blood. That they were all alive was too much a blessing for them to even address it. Hinata gently touched Neji's arm as he slowly sank to the sand floor, despite his fatigue his eyes sluggishly taking in who was there. Kankurou, Meirou-sama, Kiba, Hinata, himself, and Naruto.

Kiba blinked in surprise from his vantage point, propped under Meirou's arm. That Meirou could claim to see anything amazed him, when for him the world was a spiralling mire sucking him into a darkness even deeper than the nighttime allowed. He took a tiny rasping breath and felt the rushing flood of pain collide with his insides as the poison took even this amount of aid to carry on with its work. Meirou's grip tightened around him and became the only thing solid for him as his senses began to melt into that cold mire.

"Kiba! Kiba! Focus on my voice. Kiba! I will tell you something interesting, will you listen to me?"

A hard solid slice of reality came down hard across Kiba's face, Meirou's calloused hand striking him into a split-second of sensibility. His eyes rolled in a struggle to see Meirou clearly even as his attempt to speak came out as a murmur.

"Kiba! You want to know how I could tell where Neji and Hinata were don't you? Don't you?!"

Kiba did want to know. But even his bones were suporific, so he did not know how Meirou expected him to master his tongue. He could not feel where he ended and Meirou's arm began, icy numbness was pervading him.

"You gave me the idea Inuzuka. Do you hear me Kiba?? I have gathered chakra to my nose so that I might smell in place of eyes. I have good reason to thank your clan, don't I Kiba? KIBA. It is a poor way to thank your people if I let you die. Focus!"

The words were a whitewash as all vision faded into forgiving sleep.

* * *

The scuffing of Shimobe's feet echoed across the sand-strewn pathways of his estate in an otherwise crisp and total silence. The wind was the only accompaniment to his idle musings, his journey a wandering one as he attempted to make his mind unwind. The darkening shadows added a tranquility to his thoughts that wouldn't have existed for him otherwise, the night breeze similarly soothing. His wife would be eating alone. Unforgiveable rudeness! But nonetheless his steps continued their aimless path amidst the outskirts of their home. Yet another day of attempted diplomacy, the dissuading of villagers writhing with the need for resolute action. Fighters by nature, it was an impossibility to ask these people to stay still and wait for an attack that they all knew would come. And yet that was all that they could do while they waited for word from the Leaf shinobi. Was it too much to ask of their kind, expecting them to rely on outsiders? More than that, on outsiders that were the reason behind their predicament? It was not the first time Shimobe had considered the Elders decision to have been a hasty one. But he was Elder too, and the decision could not be passed on to anyone else's shoulders. He breathed through his nostrils and touched his fingertips to his temples, rubbing the ache away. The descent of a presence behind him was sudden enough that he would later think it an impossibility that an injured man could appear from nowhere. Nothing but dirt and sky surrounded them, and wounded men did not fall from the sky, any more than they travelled fast enough that you could not detect them. His whirling gaze confronted his wounds and concern flooded such suspicions as he rushed to catch him before he fell.

"Shiro-san! What happened to you?" he exclaimed, gripping the young Jiyuujin to his chest and easing him to the ground, too much an old man himself to take his full body weight. Though a ninja no longer he knew a gravely hurt man when he saw one. Wounds lacerated Shiro's torso, reducing his arms to ribbons of torn flesh saturated with sand. Yet more sand caked his eyelashes and cracked lips as his rasping breath showed its interference with his throat. He wheezed and clung to Shimobe's shirt front with a weak desperation, and his words were barely puffs of breath that had to be leant into to be heard. "... Gaara... He... the Konoha ninjas... They attacked us."

Shimobe's grip slackened and his face took on the strange stillness of a man on the brink of something about to shatter. He licked his lips, lips that suddenly felt as dry as Shiro's seemed to be.

"... If Gaara, is not with us. If he has betrayed us..."

Tears stained red from stinging sand crept from under Shiro's eyelids as he strained them open, meeting Shimobe's gaze. "We need... to act now... Gaara is..." Violent coughing interrupted his speech.

"Gaara is penned at the outpost... We must... We MUST take the Konoha ninjas NOW."

* * *

Sand met horizon at their destination as they flew across the desert, the speed of their motions emitting a dull thrum that conveyed their path even if they could not be seen. Battle motions, battle stances. Even in the flight towards their goal because they knew the strength of what they faced.

And yet when they arrived they did not arrive, because what they were expecting to be there, was not.

The group of forty stood for a moment in tense bunched patience, before straightening. Their gazes skimmed the sand dune that was the only alteration in the landscape.

"Disuruki, did you lead us in the wrong direction? This can't be where the outpost is."

"You know as well as I do that it is here and that we are tracking Gaara and Hogo's movements..."

"And you should know just as well as I do that outposts, and people, DON'T just disappear!"

Nothing but silence, silence and then more silence, until it made an individuated sound of its own, a swelling of absence in the eardrums. Alien fear gripped their hearts. And then the ground exploded in maelstrom of sand and disintegrating rock, chunks of debris flying yards away. From all this chaos rose a disc of sand that carried two figures with it, but only thirty seven of the forty perceived this because three had already been bludgeoned in to unconscious by the blurred figure that was dressed in green.

As the sand settled once more and they flailed backwards, outwards, away into defensive positions, only a few would see the smiles that graced the faces of Gaara and Hogo. Even less of them would notice that even now, at such an imminent moment of battle, they could not feel Gaara's chakra, normally so animalistic and deadly, at all. Hogo's trembling hands gave testament to her gift, locked in a final seal.

"Don't try and sneak up on a Jiyuujin, baka."

And then the technique was dispelled and sheer roaring power hit them full force, a shockwave of energy pelting them so that they were physically forced backwards, their skin shuddering in reaction. Turrets of sand flew upwards, wind howling round them in agitation as the only option became one of running until the sky could be seen again. Except this was not an option for some, because in the blinding flurry of sand, they found that they could not move. The six unfortunates, struggling with every muscle in an agony of exertion, had the opportunity to see Hogo walking towards them through the sandstorm, kunai in hand.


End file.
